Monday, 11 May 2009

misery is a second black dress

owh wow!

so sorry blog for the late entry....

it took me nearly a week not to pay my internet, i still havent paid yet, and am borrowing someones internet in the meantime.

it took me nearly half an hour to sign in to my blog, because the internet is slow, and im watching a movie while typing, so this post might be rubbish-ish.

i still dont have internet, so i wont be blogging for awhile..sigh..my life is a bore..

ps- lots of grammatical and spelling errors because im typing in the dark~
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I was out with some friends the other day, we went to bandung straight after class on some `important` matters. We searched quickly, and after only and hour or two, the important matters were finished in a jiffy. I was so proud, no, extremely proud that i only spent 20k on some `important` matters. Strutting around the shopping mall, proud of my achievement, i chanced to glance at this shop, one of my favourite shops to buy clothes, a bit pricey, but i love the colours. no,i must not go in, no no no ....at last..i went in~argh...i have the weakest faith..i am A SHOPAHOLIC...*sheepish smile*

i walked in, my friends had headed to mcd, i was all alone in a world that i couldnt keep away from, and obviously had no strength to turn away from. i swirled in the beautiful colours of clothes, clothes, clothes galore!owh, im in heaven!!haha~and suddenly, there it was, on a mannequin, a dress, i felt it, IT WAS CALLING FOR ME, I BELONG TO YOU, YOU BELONG TO ME, WE BELONG WITH EACH OTHER..i liked 2 dresses in the shop.oh my god! i dont know why! i tried it on in the dressing room, it looked really well, and owh, i just had to buy them. i couldnt decide. i couldnt ask anyone for opinions, which to buy, which!!!...and i bought 2 black dresses that looked nearly the same............

9.30 pm -- walked out of shop with triumphant smile, bought something

9.35 pm -- smile falters

9.45 pm -- realize bought nearly same looking dress

9.50 pm -- realize it was too pricey for a simple dress

10.00 pm -- went home

10.30 pm -- felt like shooting myself~~haha

decisions...haihh, why do we have to make decisions, and sometimes make stupid ones like just now..i just dont understand~

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being an adult means growing up, having big responsibilities and the worst thing is that we have to make decisions. one thing about me is that im a really bad decision-maker, i think slowly, take an extremely long time to decide, and when i do decide, i always feel that i made the wrong decision in the first place, and then regret it.

how do i change that...its so hard, there are always so many decisions to make. i specifically hate it when im driving, and you have to decide which way to go in like split seconds, and you cant think too long because the cars at the back would start cursing you, and then when you do decide and take the road.....you find out that it was the wrong one. that sucks major time~ and it always happens to me. its like just when my heart tells me to take a road, if i dont follow it, my brain would analyze something, and choose the other way. and it would be the wrong one~

so what are we supposed to do about that. people always tell me dont follow your heart, think first, follow what your head has thoroughly thought over. some say, the instincts in your heart is the most powerful tool in mankind and therefore should be trusted in making decisions. even deciding which opinion about decisions is hard to decide, what more deciding to decide!

My mom is a very good decision maker, unlike me sadly. she always seems to know things and can somehow magically predict the outcome. no wonder she teaches critical thinking in university, what a wonder woman my mom is~( oh dear, its mothers day today, and i should have posted something about moms, haihh, later2, i will once i get my hands on my own internet) . my brother is more like mom, he thinks quitely, weighing the pros and cons in the cony head of his, and wisely makes a decision. me and my sister seem to share one thing in common, frantically, panically jump into a conclusion and think that is the right thing to do, and at the next moment falter with that decision.

Alright, enough blabbering~ (another trashy post by me)

BAck to the black dresses,and the connection between the black dress and this post. I liked one better than the other, and regret buying the other one so much that i felt like returning it, but i was totally lazy to drive back to bandung the next day. so i spent the whole night fretting to myself in sefless regret. it really felt like the end of the universe..haha~ at the end of the day, i gave up, there was no way i would drive all the way just to change it, and just had to live with my decision of owning two black dresses that looked nearly the same~

Suddenly, this bright sunday afternoon, a friend asked me out for something that we both had to do and said he would drive. it was like a miracle!the best part was, the place we had to go was near the mall....and i eventually could change the dress to a nicer one, and i dont regret buying a 2nd dress~

So, heres the moral of the story~~~~hehe

We are grownups

We are always expected to make decisions

We can make decisions

THey can be right

But they can be wrong most of the time

We can make decisions, and we may regret them

We make mistakes

But we are only human, u and i~

I learnt that i do try to decide, and i have improved in trying to make decisions. But it is a learning process that comes with the package of growing up. Sometimes, using my instinct, i do make the right decisions, and sometimes by thinking, i make the wrong ones. But making a wrong decision just makes us bloom into making us better human beings. i always learn by my mistakes, (which are a lot of mistakes), and i try not to do it again. but the most important thing, is no matter how bad the decision we made is, just never give up, there will always be a perfect solution around the corner.~

I will always remember the black dress that i bought.

It reminds me of the word decision

So if you ever buy a second black dress, you can regret for awhile, but keep in mind that you can still do something about it =)

cheers!

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