Tuesday, 30 December 2008

2 books that i read during the holidays

so,here are 2 books i managed to squeeze through during the holidays. im too lazy to edit the photos i scanned.so,here they are.

This book is rather interesting as the author manages to illustrate his childhood in terengganu. he brings bright images to life as i scanned through the pages. He took me on a very interesting journey of how terengganu people lived,then and now,describing along the way about how kampung life is.

The only thing i can complain about is that the sequence of narration is not that clear from my point of view,but otherwise, its a very interesting book to read.

Witch child is a teen book,which i read first out of boredom. Eventhough its not that thick,but i absolutely loved the book as the writer was able to bring me to imagine life as this girl who was accused of being a witch. it tells of how she ran from england to america, escaping from being hanged by the villagers.

anyway, its a great coffee table book to have~

Sunday, 14 December 2008

ok...officially the song im blasting tonight

when i am stressed up and messed up

I usually would blast my room with extremely loud ROCK music....

I would be moody and if only looks could kill,i would be rampaging like KING KONG to everyone...

Ill SLAM the door in everyones face....

I reply short, curt messages and my voice would sound like im carryng the burden of the WORLD upon me....

NADYA.....lest we forget......theres a GREATER FORCE out there, always able to calm the HEARTS of the UNWORTHY mere mortals, SOOTHE the pain,anger and frustration .....

SO lest we FORGET.........take some time to REMEMBER

Monday, 24 November 2008

letter from mommy sayang

Dear nadya, Dianelly, Esqandar.
How r u?Ma is back in Tronoh and i am engaging a daily maid to help with the household as my arm is giving me a lot of problem. All I need is to rest the hand. Hope this lady will work for a long time. Overall I am quite healthy. Dad and I will go for the routine check up at IJN this 2 Dec.I have to stop the gardening for a while.
Dad is okay after the surgery. He is back to his daily routine. I can see that when he had a bandage over his eye he was like very impatient o have it removed. The appointment was at 10 but he was asking me to drive to the hospital at 8.
The house is still not very ready as dad has a lot of books not yet arranged. The other rooms are okay.Mak teh spent a month in Tronoh and we took her to visit her friends and also to Cameron Highlands which she said is like london and too cold for her.We did not take her sight seeing as she was not well.Moreover the car is a bit too high for her to get into. A kancil will be good or Rx Mazda will be better.It was a difficult time for her to get into the ford.
Hope she enjoyed maybe next time I will take her again.
How is life in Indonesia, USA and Canada. I hope we can be together again in the near future probably back in tronoh.
You must be busy with your studies and I willalways prayfor your success.Still waiting for your vacation in dacember.
To Dianelly must be enjoying life in Dallas. Dad say masak lah tunjuk greg that u can cook. Have you gone to Memphis? I am afraid to talk lon as greg has to pay for the bill. How is the new house? Bila lagi. Ma and dad dok tunggu berita baik.
Esqandar lama mama tak call. I know you are enjoying your new apartment. Can you send some photos. Must be cold now.Miss you alot. The photos keep me happy .
Love all of you very much

Thursday, 20 November 2008



REcently, i went on a 3 day trip to jogja...it was last thursday night to be exact...we set of on a really really i mean really crampt bus at 9 oclock at nite...i think there were nearly 50 or more of us..all stuck together like sardines in a can for 10 hours...oh my god....

note to self~~ theres not always comfort in life, sometimes you have to suffer for 10 hours..haha

anyway, we arrived on friday morning around 6 am...everyone was excited seeing this statue of monkeys in front of the villa we were going to stay in...my back was aching, i was cold and tired but i lugged around just fine...i did not bring much stuff(but still my hands were full)

the reason why we went was actually for this karnival sukan between malaysian students in indonesia... there was badminton,futsal and bowling ...an i was in...HAHA....NONE OF THEM....hahahah...instead, i was this screaming hooligan at the sides....cheering for my team...BANDUNG!!!..haha....the sports was fun,but that was about it...

we did not have time to visit anything, which i fumed about...i really wanted to go visit the tourist areas...but apakan daya, we were stuck up in the hill for days. its ok, ill have to go nextime then, and surely ill go to those places...(but omg, im soo not gonna take the bus again...sriouzly,i was like going to puke anytime)

the room in the villa, well,i had much to complain..but hey..as i said, somtimes you need to stop the comfort in life for a while....

its nearly 4 in the morning...i havent studied a thing...so this is one of the worthless articles you can find in this blog...sigh....the end

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Antara kemahuan, keperluan dan kewajipan

have i lost the battle............


will i fight again.........



--i dont know

decisions suck

--yeahhh,tell me about it

people will talk about this you know.....

--well then, i must be prepared

remember wut dad told u.....it was never a mistake,wut u did....u just need some space and time

--i miss home..,i wanna go home...

do u still luv and fear God

--u think just because im doing this i lost my faith!!!NO!!!

remember your promise to urself...if u take this road,there better be one hell of a good reason for doing it!!

-- fine!!! i will keep that promise....one day,i will prove myself worth!!!

well then nadya amin shaharudin....get ready, brace yourself for wutever it is you are gonna face.....everyone will be against you...but you always have God with you, by your side, trust in God....trust in yourself...and if anyone asks you what the hell were you thinking...

-- go talk to my parents....dey know what i feel

the end~~~


Thursday, 30 October 2008

book review

During the last summer holidays i read loads of really nice books, but i cant seem to remember all the titles...(i have a very short memory for a medical student)...So, below is just about some books that i have read in this month.. By the way, it is in indonesian, and more to religious things...i dont read these types of books as often as i do want to, but i think it is good to read it once in a while to keep us in check as a reminder of how lalai we can get. for my friends in jatinangor, if you want to read these books, you can borrow mine, if not, you can get them in tisera in jatos..hehe


tHIS book is a simple book, not too complicated with things we do not understand. but any tom,dick and harry can read this book and feel fear towards Gods thereafter days...

Amongst the contents of this book, is about how we would feel in the first few hours in the grave, alone...then what would happen to us...real creepy and scary,but a must read....

theres this one paragraph that i like from this book ....

tanyakan kepada orang yang buta yang berjalan di tengah2 keramaian tapi tidak dilanggar, siapa yang mengendalikan langkahnya

tanyakan kepada janin yang hidup sendiri di dalam perut, siapa yang telah memeliharanya

katakanlah kepada seseorang bayi yang menangis saat kelahirannya, siapa yang membuatnya menangis

tanyakan kepada susu yang bersih, padahal ia berasal dari darah dan kotoran, siapa yang menjadikannya bersih

dan jika kamu melihat seekor ular sedang menyemburkan bisanya, tanyakan juga, wahai sang ular, mengapa kau bisa hidup, padahal mulutmu penuh dengan bisa..........


THIS book tells that everything that lives---MUST die..IT IS MORE in depth than the other book, it has research on some west writers who delve on the afterlife...

it also mentions on the seven heavens and the hell that we all do not want to go too...its very informative, and as i said before, the books that i chose, are simple to read but it does give a very good understanding

some excerpts from this book

i find this part of the book very interesting---it says, the people who fall into hell will feel the torments of fire first on their skin...everytime their skin peels off and burns, Allah will replace it with another new layer, and this layer will then peel off and burn..the miracle of this, is that in science, we know that the skin is the most sensitive part of our body..and this most sensitive part is burnt first...MasyaAllah...the greatness of God

--melebur segala dosa baik kecil,
mahupun besar adalah takwa,
berbuatlah seperti orang yang berjalan di atas tanah berduri
yang selalu waspada dengan apa yang dia lihat,
jangan remehkan dosa kecil sekalipun,
kerana gunung terdiri dari kerikil......

its been a while

can you believe it...i have not been writing for nearly a month...but i do have my reasons...

1- im totally lazy
2- been in hiding for a month, appear invi most of the time
3- extremely busy with nonsense stuff --events, sleep, more sleep

anyway, today, nadya is going to write a lepak post..just something about what i have been up to this month...nothing connected with anything

alright....lets start


PENGUMUMAN: kepada sesiapa yang hendak derma kepada tabung sumbangan ikhlas untuk sara hidup nadya amin shaharudin selama sebulan, sila dial 081809**!!##....

I went out with a friend--AINAa dA sIzZlIn hOt BabE- the other day to get her a phone...we walked around the mother-of-all-phone complex for the whole day when i laid my eyes on this cool gadget..(i vowed never to buy another normal phone,and i must buy a touchscreen phone)..but i never did go through with my vow..instead...i bought this phone, its cheaper, easier and it looks cool(the most important part of it)

Because i bought this phone, and i paid my house rent, my bank account is now flat, from RM5000 i only have i think around RM80 in it right now...if my mom knows about this, she will definitely kill me,bring me alive and kill me again. anyway, im trying not to eat out nowadays, have to be really careful with my savings till the next scholarship money comes in...but as me and my friend said ..LAGI RELA KELAPARAN DARI TIDAK STYLO..haha...buruk akibatnya,i know,but, im not materialistic, just EXTREMELY REALISTIC =)

ps ; i really needed a new phone, remember my beloved n76 was lost at sea....

clOSeD HOuSe gRiYa aMirA---GeMpAAq

BBQ was decided as the theme for our small party a.k.a house warming amongst us griyans...btw...did i tell you WE TOTALLY ROCCKK!!HAHA....

tentatif program --

a) my friends cooked
b) i potong halia sebiji
c) buah tembikai i yang potong
d) guys did the grill thing
e) mr UNCLE-- mc for the nite
f) mr Z AKS datang --- his mini version of a ceramah and a doa
g) the food was extremely good, im not lying...seriouz...
h) main bunga api, mercun, sambil menembak rumah2 lain di sekitar kawasan kami..haha
i) UNO game

i retired early for the night, and i didnt join the uno game...but all i can say is, the night was a real smokin hot night, i think everyone had fun. the real purpose was to get close to the juniors who just moved in, but in the end, all us GRIYANs are closer than ever...luv u guys!!

Monday, 13 October 2008


where is the light.....

I AM NOT strong

I AM NOT courageous

I AM NOT brave

I AM NOT what you think i am

This is the post mortem of my first week in the tudung phase...

Firstly, i would like to thank everyone that has been really supportive in this external move of mine to get me closer to God. I received lots of wonderful and supportive messages that had kept me going all through the week. I keep every single message in my heart in the hopes that i would not let a lot of people down......

But sadly........


It has only been one week, and yet i think it is the hardest week of my life. It was and still is a major depression time for me. I cry nearly every day of the week.I dont feel hot or sweaty or hard because im wearing the tudung. ITs the act itself plus my old life raging inside of me....the devil in me just needs to get out, the soul that i sold to rock and roll is dying, waiting for a time to be wild again. Im the type of person who walks out of the house wearing the simplest thing i can find, i dont often dress-up(even if it seems like it)...seriously, i NEVER iron my clothes, i DONT brush my hair to class, i GRAB anything i can find in my closet and put it on. I do things fast and i hate scrupples....and yet here i am, having to match scarf and tudung, ironing, argh...(cursing).


did i move to fast? did i make the RIGHT decision at the WRONG time? Am i missing my old life too much? Was my mind actually influenced by other people when i made the decision? Did i not think clearly when i did it? I am not a good decision maker, i try, but i am clearly not. My family and close friends know, the sadder i am, the harder i laugh. I crack stupid jokes just to make me feel better, i talk loudly to make it seem as if i am happy...the question is, am i? i feel distant from my family and close friends. i dont like going out of the house...i used to be happy-go-lucky..now, i am contented to be alone in my room. Ku melangkah keluar dari kampus, ku berlari menuju hidupku yang tenteram di duniaku sendiri.... i lock my door, put on the loudest rock music and just escape from the world......


Some people tOOK me aside,------asking why the heck did i wear the tudung. Did i loose my head(hair).?..I wasnt cut out to be this miss-goody 2-shoes, just stop the futile act and be yourself again...Your not one of us anymore...babe, uve lost the coolness in u..take it off man!!...Wut!!??

Some people took me aside,-----telling me if i ever take the tudung of, it will break their hearts. sampai hati....kecewa....ill let a lot of people down, especially to some who looked up to what i did. PEople would think i did it for popularity, once it has died down, ill get bored of it..NO!!

Suddenly, its not between me and God anymore...NIAT ASALKU TELAH BERUBAH??!!! Suddenly, its about me AND THE WHOLE God-forsaken community! I was on a journey to find MYSELF....instead...im now LOOSING my identity....

I do not want to let a lot of people down, i do not want to let myself down, most importantly, i do not want to let Allah down....God, show me the light that i found.....i had lost it along the way. Wheres the fire burning inside of me that i had weeks ago? I felt so close to God then, where is that feeling? Adakah kerana aku telah menzahirkan apa yang aku niatkan, aku telah hilang apa yang dicari selama ini?

Pray tell...should i have taken things slowly, really2 make sure that the inside of me was 100% goodness and then take it out??ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!


A friend asked me, apa susahnya nk pakai tudung? Yeah, its not hard at all...its keeping up with it thats hard....Setiap kesusahan yang menimpa kita di jalan menuju KEBENARAN, NIKMAT yang diberi berlipat ganda...Is it the devil telling me to take the wrong path?or is my psychology and heart telling me i made the wrong decision...The confused human mind asks the soul....Siapa tidak ingin menjadi penegak kebenaran ummat ISlam? As a child, i had only one dream--menjadi anak yang solehah---so that i could pray for my parents when they are gone ---- is it too hard to do one simple thing??


To others out there, searching for the truth, my entry today is not to let you down on taking the big step...Its just a reminder of the challenges that you are to face once you are on the right path..This is HONESTLY, TRUTHFULLY from my heart...I DO NOT WANT TO LIE TO PEOPLE AND LET YOU ALL IMAGINE THAT I AM LIVING A LIFE FULL OF WONDERFUL BUTTERFLIES...I do not know how long i would continue, maybe if i take it of, i can find back my way deeper in my religion? Maybe if i go on, i would find my way eventually? I DONT KNOW...the decision remains unknown....BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP MY PATH IN BECOMING A BETTER MUSLIM...so....dont judge me, only God is fit to do that....




-- REMEMBER...YOU ARE DESTINED FOR GREATNESS..................................

Thursday, 9 October 2008

My comments on the comments….part 1


So…as I promised, here are my humble opinions about the comments given on my entry on STIGMA BERTUDUNG DAN TIDAK BERTUDUNG. My opinions are based on what I feel, as I do not have a deep knowledge on hadiths and all that, I may be wrong, I may be right, but hey, its an open discussion right. All of us can learn from each other. And hope there are no hard feelings afterwards..So, to all my virtual and non-virtual friends, sorry if ada terkasar bahasa in my opinions.

Comments to hekenawang


kita semua tau yg tudung tu hukumnya wajib dipakaikan?
apa yg dh ada dlm agama, wajib, haram, sunat, semua tu dah jelas.
knape nk pertikaikan lg ape yg mmg
dah jelas tertulis dlm agama, hukum agama?

ME =

Its not the fact that I do not believe that the tudung is wajib or not. Saya tidak mempertikaikan kewajipan memakai tudung, sebaliknya hanya memikirkan tentang zaman sekarang, di mana umat Islam mempunyai pandangan yang serong kepada orang yang tidak memakai tudung. Personally, for me, it is important to know the rules of God but it is also important to do a little bit of soul searching ourselves. In my case, I did this. Remember the story of prophet ibrahim?


One night, Ibrahim went up to the mountain, leaned against a rock, and looked up to the sky. He saw a shining star, and told his people: "Could this be my Lord?" But when it set he said: "I don't like those that set." The star has disappeared, it could not be God. God is always present. Then he saw the moon rising in splendor and told them: "Could this be my Lord?" But it also set. At daybreak, he saw the sun rising and said: t "Could this be my Lord, this is bigger?" But when the sun set he said: "O my people I am free from all that you join as partners with Allah! I have turned my face towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah."

So, from here, we can see that the prophet Ibrahim went on a journey to search for the truth. With Allahs help, he got what he wanted to know in the end.

It is unfair to say that orang yang tidak memakai tudung mempertikaikan hukum agama, as FUZZY said, for all you know, we could have an extra finger and you wouldn’t know it. We cannot judge people on what we see from outside. I think, most people who do not wear the tudung, are just taking a longer time to search for the truth.


lagi, kenapa harus dibenci ajakan kepada sesuatu yg baik?

ME =

We do live among people, so we do need to know what other people think of us. I agree on this. Its called personal analysis and it is good to know other peoples point of view on ourselves. Fuzzy said this --

Should we not question? Should we not argue? Should we just follow like sheep or should we analyze with our God-given mind? The power of analyzing ourselves, when achieved in the right way, would draw us closer to our God. In my opinion, maybe we should dephrase –membenci ajakan kepada sesuatu yang baik-, but change it to menganalysis sesuatu yang baik dan buruk. (am I making sense here)


Ok..thanks for the link to zaharuddin.net, so I came across this article, I don’t know if this was the one you wanted me to see, the debate to raja petra. My question is, this person who wrote this rebuttal, is his point is that women should wear the veil but not cover their faces or how? Could you elaborate..thank you

Raja Petra Wrote : "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." Surah Al-Ahzab (33), verse 59.

Comment : Firstly, see the words 'so that they may be recognised and not annoyed'. This means at least the face must be visible. It is wrong to say that other women at that time (non Muslim Arabs, Jews, Christians) did not wear the tudung. The truth is that the Jewish and Christian women wore far more conservative tudung than the Muslim women.

Covering the body is also required of men and women in the desert. It has nothing to do with any religion. So when the verse says 'so that they may be recognised' it actually means the women should not cover their face or head in such a way that the people cannot differentiate them from other Christian and Jewish women who also wear tudung and veils. This means there is no such thing as a tudung to cover your head and face.

My answers to Raja Petra statements are in this entry. Come and take part in the discussion.

Some people trying to support their thought by presenting -so called- Jewish and christian veil's pictures which are adapted from wikipedia and other unknown sources. Show us the absolute verse in Injil and Taurat which defines the Jewish and Christian's veil, without it, your pictures are insufficient, useless and unreliable at all. Again, show me the bible and taurat original verse.

It is learnt that the Christian woman is to cover her head whenever she is praying, whether it be at the church service or just personal prayer at home. This may mean that if she is not praying at home, she is uncovered around male guests who are not related to her



here's the thing, "to be a better muslim, u have to wear tudung", it's true. it's not a malay thought. it's an islamic thought. but i'm not saying those who wear tudung is essentially better than those who doesn't.

ME =

I do not agree on the first sentence myself, the part where to be a better muslim, you have to wear a tudung. This sounds like we judge people from the outside. We are but mere mortals and have no right to judge other mortals. I would like to question this, why is it always the issue of the muslim women so much more than the aurat of the men (im a bit of a feminist, huhu, so if you don’t mind, this is a feminist statement). Men can go around wearing shorts and it would not be such a big deal as a women not wearing a tudung. It is aurat just the same. No one judges that man as less a muslim. Why is this?


OK, so i spent my thursday holiday only able to comment not even half from all of you comments. I do not find my article of an educational value, as i still am not able to kluarkan all the fatwas and hadiths like all of you did, but i would really like to one day. Its great to know that the Islamic debate is a great one, perbezaan pendapat dalam Islam, adalah salah satu keindahan Islam...

Theres more that i want to say, but guess my brain is still woozy from the morning sun...Anyway, i think the next part would be about the dogs and the string. I as a born and bred musician have lots to disagree on this...anyway, have a nice day ahead people..

Monday, 6 October 2008

and the journey has begun


Today, 06.10.08, the day that many people gaped with their mouth wide open at nadya amin shaharudin. after my last controversial entry on my blog, suddenly, i am doing the unthinkable...and i did it. I of all people, wore the infamous head scarf....the word that i had dreaded for so long, the T-U-D-U-N-G.


Ok, so i promised to reply the comments about the stigma of bertudung and tidak bertudung. but i think at this point, firstly, people would want to know why i made such a drastic decision and change. SO, my next entry after this is for the comments. p.s= this entry is a bit jumbled up, im like really new to this blast of emotions im feeling...seriously


Mind you all, i have been thinking about this for a long time, almost over a year. The last entry on my blog, was actually written when my heart was already set on wearing the tudung, i was just waiting for the right time. i have no idea why i am embarking myself on this strange journey to get me closer to God, i mean for heavens sake, i am surely a mere mortal, who is only another face in the crowd. But, looks like God did favor me a bit now and then, as i keep hearing a little voice inside me reminding me that i must be destined for GREATNESS(or was it just my imagination). Well, anyway, some people say you get restless if you do not do something, so thats the way i was.


It was not an easy decision to make..who said wearing the tudung was easy must be senile. I set my heart to wear it on the first day class started after Eid. The whole holiday, my mind had been hovering over the fact was i brave enough to do something like this..i mean,its me your talking about...me who sold her soul to rock and roll!!(i got that part from the reapers series)..anyway, i went out once to bandung, wearing a tudung, to try out how it would feel, it felt ok,so i thought i could summon the strength to do my most daring act yet.

The night before the BIG DAY, suddenly i felt myself loosing it, i did not have the confidence to do it. i cried and wept at the thought of how my life will change 360 degrees, thank God, a good friend of mine called me at 2 in the morning to comfort me and give me the last strength i needed to go ahead with my decision. I was howling and crying to this friend of mine, and i told him, why cant guys wear tudung...i even asked him to wear a towel on his head for a day so that he could feel how it felt to wear a tudung..huhu...i thought that was funny at that time..

The next day, i wokup, took a bath, took a really really REALLLLY deep breath, and i wore the tudung without thinking twice. I felt i was brave enough to face the day...UNTIL....until i reached my university and went into class, people were staring, jaws dropped, eyes adverted mine, mouths started oowings and aahings and making their own assumptions as to why i was doing it....so i crawled into a little corner in class...and cried...and cried...and cried.....and cried even more....the whole lecture time, i was sniffling and sobbing while the lecturer was talking..

Some people started messaging me,asking me what happened...my non-muslim friends called and messaged and told me not to change, they were afraid id get too Malayish...ha...i hope that never happens...im proud of the mixture of my pakistani and chinese descent, atleast im not too MAlay ey..hehe...no offence...anyway, i told them ...read my blog...it says what i want to say...IF I DO WEAR A TUDUNG ONE DAY, IT WOULD NOT BE BECAUSE OF THE MALAY SOCIETY...BUT FOR MY RELIGION...


At the end of the day, people smiled at me, my lecturer hugged me and said Alhamdulillah...i felt like i did something for myself, but at the same time, i made a whole bunch of people happy (god, my parents must be beaming on me right now from canada)..haha...Its only my first day, a big obstacle that i overcame....but i do not know about the other days to come and if i would go on with this tudung phenomena...but if i do not, or do, i hope everyone will not judge me for my decisions...as someone wrote on my comments....IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD....

to be continued......

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

STIGMA BERTUDUNG DAN TIDAK BERTUDUNG : the essence of Malayzation and Islamization


A muslim girl in Malaysia is always portrayed as one with a head scarf or tudung as it is referred to in our language, the longer the tudung, the better the goodness and the sweetness of this muslim girl. On the other hand, a Muslim girl not wearing a tudung, is portrayed as the essence of evil, the drawer of bad fate and just cast aside in society as someone who lives in the modern world with no thought of her religion. i am writing here today, to vent out my anger, disagreement and also criticize the people who have criticized both of these situations, i stand on no side, and i write with an open mind. Whatever i have written, comes sincerely from my thougths and everyone is free to comment upon this.


Sometimes, people who do not understand why women wear the tudung criticize them, thinking that women with tudung are outdated, unfashionable, unknowledgeable and all the other UNs put together. Most of my friends do don the tudung and they are the opposite of this. of course, in this world, there are some who are narrow minded, but not all of them are like that. some women wear the tudung because of our malay society who accepts only muslimahs who do, some do not even understand why they wear it, they simply wear it because others do. that is why in our society today, we can see some people wearing the tudung who are not as good as they appear to be. this shows that the tudung does not really portray who a person is, it never is about how long your tudung is, its always inside that counts.

We hear news from other countries where they ban the use of the headscarf in public places like schools and so on. i do not agree with this and i think it is a shameful thing to do to people who choose to cover their heads and hair. it is in already in the new milennia for Gods sake, its a free country, and everyone is permitted to do what they think is right. I am against this ban and i am against people who have a stigma against modern women wearing the tudung.

In Turkey, under the evil regime of Kamal Antartuk, Muslimahs were dragged to the ground for wearing headscarves and were spit on for doing what they think is right in the religion. I cried when i saw my fellow Muslims fall to the ground while still keeping close to their faiths to Allah.


I write this statement boldly to proclaim that i am not wearing the tudung at this point of time. But, i warn you, that does not make me less a muslim than any others. i LOVE my religion,I BELIEVE in only ONE GOD and most of all, i try my best to do all the things needed in the daily life of a muslimah. i hate the fact that when i tell people that i want to improve myself in the Islamic way, the first thing people say is to wear a tudung. Some people who do not wear tudung are more islamic than some who do, I am not self-proclaiming myself how pious i am, but thats just the way it is.

The stigma around people who do not wear the tudung is actually even more stronger than to the people who do. Yes, there are women who do not practice the Islamic ways eventhough they are muslims, but most who do not wear the tudung, still pray 5 times a day, read the Holy Quran, and believe in what God has proclaimed


Let there be a big barrier between these 2 thoughts, the MALAYS and the MUSLIMS. To me, i respect the people who wear the tudung, from my point of view, it is actually an honour to wear one, where it checks the modesty of a muslimah. BUT...NEVER EVER think that to become more of a muslim, the girl who does not wear one must straight away don a tudung on her head.NO! if one day, i were to wear a tudung, i do not want to wear one because of the Malay society, not to impress people with how much i cover my modesty...BUT its for the LOVE OF THE ONLY GOD THAT I BELEIVE IN AND THE ONLY RELIGION THAT I HOLD. islam

Tuesday, 16 September 2008


If we were to die today, what would you do in the last few seconds of your life. I asked myself this question a few months ago, when i woke up from a nightmare, in which i had only a few seconds to live, and all that i have done passed through my head.

Im 21, and what have i achieved in my life so far...am i just another dot in this large world...?When i was smaller, i dreamed big dreams....i wanted to be well known in this world, in a good way, maybe join the Olympic Games, maybe be a young philantrophist, maybe rule the world.....but what have i achieved in these 21 years of my life?....none of that...what have you achieved in yours up until now?

If you were to die today....would you have regretted not climbing mount everest, not being able to see the world, or something simple like not being able to love your family and tell them they mean a lot to you....regrets, theres nothing good about regrets, its just something we should never do....always do what is right before it is too late right...i hope that all of us can do this

sometimes we need a reminder to tell us, life does not last forever...we are just actors in this universe, one day, we will all shrivel up and retire, some of us take the bus to hell, some of us take a first class flight to heaven...lets book our flight ticket and hope we get the front seat..

lETs start with an inventory of what have we achieved in our lives and what we dream of accomplishing....people who are succesful, start with big dreams which live on to become a reality...so dream big, pray hard, play hard, and remain focused....everyone has their own capabilities....just free our dreams, and it will all come out.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

My 4th and last week here

Ramadhan has just dawned on the 1st of September all around the world. I would like to wish everyone a happy ramadhan and may this holy month bring us peace and tranquility in our busy lives. i just came back from the Toronto Mosque where we performed our Maghrib prayers. There, i met a fellow moslem sister from Indonesia who is an active member of the mosque which is situated about 20 minutes from where we are staying. Anyway, we moved to a new suite today, a smaller one but its for the best as only my parents will be staying for the following months.

i cant wait to get back to Indonesia to start my new life as a third year student. i pray that Allah will bless me with a happy and fulfilling year..InsyaAllah...I have lots of new things to write in my blog that i had thought of during the summer, but im waiting until i go back and can write nicely...

Hmm, what do i have to say? well ...lots... ok, in the posts before, i forgot to mention that i went to Buskerfest at St Lawrence Market. it is a street festival filled with lots of street performers. if i have time, i would really like to post some videos of --- A MAN GOING THROUGH A SMALL SQUASH RACKET --- AND LOADS MORE!! The days after that, i went with mommy to the CN Tower which was ironically just behind our apartment. That was not such a good trip. But the day after that, we went to Casa Loma and Spadina Museum, that was worth it because Casa Loma is a very big castle-like-mansion built by this really rich canadian named Henry something2...which i had forgot...ill look it up again. The castle was amazing!it had more than 100 rooms and for your information...u know the movie X-MEN AND THE PACIFIER??well, most of the movie was taken at this very castle!! Do wait until i get back to indonesia and have time to show you all the pictures, they are really magnificent, wait for the pictures ok!

Then, yesterday, (31 august), we went to Wasaga Beach...I basked in the sun for the last time..it was great! we had a picnic on the beach. but the best thing is, the beach is not a sea!!instead, it is a lake!the longest freshwater beach in the world! there were so many people there, it was like a spring-fling and we enjoyed it very much!

Today, is daddys birthday, we did not celebrate it much as we were tired from the moving and all. but tomorrow, we are going to have dinner at Big DAddys Resto. it serves louisiana food which my dad misses from his days back when he was in university. i will put more photos, but not today, im too lazy...hehe...dont mind me...and i will make another post to conclude the whole holiday i had this summer...so wait up!!

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

a wonder of the world

Saturday... 23rd august..after 21 years of waiting, we finally went to a place where we could take family portraits. i have been bugging my family to go ever since i was a kid as they had taken a family portrait before i was born. dont you think it is unfair that the others had a family picture while i did not?well, i thought so too!!! my father (an unnatural at smiling was forced to pose and smile...but it was extremely funny, dad never likes to pose), my brother(the one who walks like a robot had to pose too)haha...it was a fun thing, hope that the pictures turn out nicely.

We went back for lunch, and then we were well on our way to Niagara Falls...the must see attraction in Canada!! My sister was so busy with her orang putih boyfriend that she did not follow us on that day but subsequently she did on another day go to the falls. it was quite a long journey because many people were heading in the same direction, but when we reached there, it was worth it! it was spectacular....nothing in Malaysia can compare with that...it was truly an art that God created for us mere mortals to bask in His splendour.

The sun was shining so bright that my skin got burnt in a few seconds, the rush of the cool mist from the falls as we walked high above it gave a refreshing light touch on our sunburnt skin. we went on a journey behind the falls which my father complained was a rip off..haha...i wouldnt blame him, the ride on the boat would have been better. Anyway, after breathing in the beauty and one of the wonders of the world, i wanted to go to the IMAX theather where it featured the legend of the falls and also daredevils who jumped the high waters.

I had to practically lug everyone around, because everyone was tired. By 8 at night, we were on our way home, a day worth spent out.

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

finally...we went somewhere




17th of August...

One of abangs friends has a flying liscence (how cool is that huh??!!) His name is Frank and he works at the same company that Abang works (please note that i refer to beloved bro as abang) Anyway, we set out really early in the morning, and as the sky was clear,the weather was great for FLYING!!!! We went on a small plane around Toronto (another how cool is that for this!!haha). The best thing was..kakak got to fly the plane! It was awesome except for the part when the plane made a kind of dive and i felt like i was going to puke...eew! Thank God for bubblegum..or not my breakfast would have been all over the plane!

After the flight..everyone was so tired and we slept a few hours...when we woke up, we got back on our feet and went on a family afternoon to Toronto Islands. Its kind of like a big beaufitful island with a big beautiful park in it! It was truly a family hot spot! people brought picnic baskets, bicycles, dogs ...children ran around, kissed by the warm sun, smiling faces everywhere...it felt good to be out with my family who i do not meet much.

Actually, i have another entry that i want to write about, its about the anniversary of my parent's Nikah that we celebrated the day before, but i have so many things to write about my beautiful parents that i would devote a longer post for that later.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

my amateur photos

in canada --- 1st week

its been a week since im in canada. im staying at this apartment we rented called the riviera, just in front of a lake...really comfortable loft that my bro picked out..im in subway now, right below our apartment where theres a wifi area...actually, we havent been around much because we are waiting for HER HIGHNESS(my sister)... oh yeahh!! THAT DAY...WE WENT TO ALASKA!!!!IT WAS SOOO COOLLLL!!!!!~literally speaking...anyway, i cant put in the pictures for alaska just yet, because its in my moms camera...

since it is the summer in canada, the weather bounces from sunny to windy to cold in just a few minutes!!! life here is very relaxing and very peaceful....but most of the things are expensive even if you dont convert it yet. im waiting for the summer sale though!!yeayyyy!!!!suddenly, im out of things to say...i dont know....my brain has become rust since i came here....here are a few incidents worth mentioning

1. i saw a super-duper fat big humongous cat!!
2. mornings---always jog with dogs--i mean people here
3.i ate my first canadian hot dog.. courtesy of my bro

Thursday, 7 August 2008

how to get a free holiday to hong kong

Dearest readers...if you are reading this, it means im still in hong kong when i should really be in canada right now. what happened was, yesterday (atelast i think it is yesterday, im not sure about the dates anymore), we went out of our house at 5.30 am to KLIA... when we got there, after a long wait, eventhough there were only a few of us, we were told that our flight to Hong Kong (which was supposed to be only a few hours transit) on Cathay Pacific was cancelled. So, all of us were issued new tickets on Malaysian Airlines. All aboard safely on the plane, i settled down for the 5 hour flight and got comfortable watching the flight entertainment....


we were only i think an hour away from hong kong when suddenly...the pilot announced...."LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WE ARE SORRY TO ANNOUNCE...THERE IS A TYPHOON IN HONG KONG AND BECAUSE OF THE STORM.....WE HAVE TO TURN BACK TO KUALA LUMPUR INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT" ...gleeelllaaaaahhhh......we were nearly there for Gods sake!!!

Unperturbed, we went back to KL...all of us were given free coupons to eat for lunch and dinner....dhla dapat makan burger king for free~~we kind of had a burger king fiesta at the aiport, ~me, my mom and dad....as our flight was due at 9.30pm...imagine that....we had to stay at KLIA from morning until night!!!

Finally, we were on our plane to Hong Kong, and our transti was supposedto be 4 hours...mark the words SUPPOSED....Well, what happened was, when we landed, the people on the grounds told us to go in another direction, the strange thing was that the other passengers went the other way....i was like "huh??"...Turns out, my instincts were right, we were at the wrong place......so, me and my wide eyed family --patah balik--- the whole long way around the airport....we asked so many people and most of them did not understand about our plight....

So...yesterday...my first thought of Hong Kong and their airport-----rude, unhelpful, weird, worst airport of the year and bla bla bla....i was extremely mad at them!!IMAGINE...me and my parents had to carry heavy bags ulang-alik all the way and yet no one knew where to put us because our next flight was the next day(today) and Air Canada did not open any counters....what happened to the other passengers then???!!!D-UHHHH.....

After 2 hours of excruciating wait....FINALLY....(thank God)..there were helpful people from Cathay Pacific, which directed us to the place that we should have gone in the first place... So, we got free hotel stay for one night....(that is the story laa)....NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO GET A FREE HOLIDAY IN HONG KONG---HOTEL, BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER PROVIDED...WAAAHHH

I guess, after the ordeal, atleast my wish was granted...i did get to stay in Hong Kong and we did get to walk around the city for awhile...God said "Nak sangat tengok Hong Kong kan....nah...tengokla....tapi kena susah2 dahulu"...(my mom phrased that) ...

Im now in the airport...waiting finally for my flight to canada...hope to update soon....!!

Monday, 28 July 2008

BALIlast day

BALIday 7 260708

Morning people…the sun was shining bright on our last day in Bali. I woke up really early for the first time in Bali because I had some last minute shopping to do. I bounced off to wake up Elis and Natrah in the next room and in a few minutes we were already at the breakfast table. Both Tahirah and Natrah did not feel up to it today to swim in the sea, so it was just me and Elis who with excited faces ran to the beach. Just our luck, this guy offered to teach us how to surf for a good price and we jumped at the deal. I was still having a bit of a phobia from my days during wakeboarding. I fell a lot during the first few tries, but in the end, I finally got to surf which was cool because I had always wanted to surf….finally!


I WENT BUNGee JUMPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As I told you before I am really afraid of heights, and here I was, 45 m high up in the sky, the jump of my life. We went to Club 66, AJ HACKETT, the guy who actually founded the sport of bungee jumping. I was the last one to go up, I had to do it! No matter what, I had to face my ultimate fears!!! The total cost of one jump is nearly RM 400 (which my dad was fussing about when I told him) (after the jump, of course). The ride up was extremely SLOW… I could see the human beings down there getting smaller and smaller until they only dotted the land that I saw. When I reached the TOP, my heart started racing and I wish that I did not have to do it. The instructor fastened the ropes on my small feet, it looked so flimsy compared to the jump that I had to do. I was damn scared!!!! The instructor said some comforting words (which were not enough), counted from 5 to 1, and I had to jump on my own. I took a deep breath, looked straight towards the ocean, and dived down like crazy!!!! I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** reminder to self---- I am still alive, even after the craziest thing I have done in my life --- if I can do bungee jumping, I can do anything!!! BRING IT ON!!!!! Woo hooo!!!!!!

The night stretched out not long enough, and at 11.30 pm, we were all on our way back to Jakarta……Now I am safe and sound in Malaysia…..I am dark, and I plaited my hair…I look like a nigga….huhuhu….thank you for reading my updates on Bali…don’t forget to tune in next week about my travels to Canada….

XOXO---the crazy gurl who jumped 45m from the ocean….

BALIday 6

BALIday six 250708

Come to think of it, I think there are a lot more sweet memories that I did not write in this blog. I really feel as if I am writing rubbish, but I still want to write the only basic pieces that I remember…in case I forget everything if one day I come back to Bali with my cucu and cicits, at least I can tell them ….nenek dh buat nie….that would be so cool. Gosh!! I do feel so old, im even already talking about grandchildren, that’s crazy!

Day six is free day… no guides, no plan, no nothing. So, the four of us single people decided to do some last minute shopping at this place called Sukawati. In Bali, it is really cheap to buy early in the morning. They believe that the people who come and buy in the morning are “pelaris”. So, if you want to shop, be an early bird. We got good stuff at really great prices and once they get hold of the money you pay for the item, they will wave it at the other items in the shop in hope of rezeki for the whole day.

Our next stop – GWK, Garuda Wisnu Kencana. It is supposed to be a really large statue that has been built since 1993 and works on the statue is still going on, believe me it is really big. Once it is finished, it can be seen clearly from the satellite. One really disgusting thing happened while I was there. I don’t know if the word disgusting is appropriate to be used. Well, what happened was, I wanted to take a picture with this woman who was wearing the traditional kebaya. Suddenly, while putting her hands together Balinese style, she said softly so that only I could hear ….MINTA TIPS NYA YA!!! Oh god, I was so shocked! But I had to give tips as the picture was taken already. You know what, I should have cancelled!!

Dreamland-----we had to go there….the ocean was sooo blue….it was beautiful like sparkling diamonds shining in the sun. the wave was huge and covered the surface of the beautiful white sandy beach. ANOTHER THING HAPPENED TO ME HERE!!! I was happily posing for a photo on the beach, curling my toes in the dry san far far far FARRR away from the waves, when suddenly, a large wave came and washed half of my body.!i was totally soaked!and I did not intend to get soaked! I did not have any extra clothes, and what was worse, my handphone was in my pocket of my pants!!!!!! AND NOW MY BELOVED NOKIA N76 DAH ROSAK……….THAT IS SO SAD….

From Dreamland, we set off to Uluwatu Temple, the time specifically planned so that we will arrive just in time for the sunset. To go into the temple, everyone must wear a piece of clothe tied around the waist and for those who are wearing shorts, they are given purple coloured sarongs. The view from the temple was breathless…..waves crashed onto murky rocks,green leaves dropped at the song from the wind, monkeys fooling around. By the way, the monkeys here are the worst so far. They will steal glasses, hats and anything detachable, and if you do not give him food fast, they will tear the thing they stole into pieces right before your very eyes.

By 5, we sat at an amphitheatre to watch the Kecak Dance. This dance is only done during the sunset. It was really cool and funny. The Kecak Dance is supposedly to satisfy the Sea God and there are nearly 70 men praising that God around a fire. The day was hot when the dance started as the men danced and chanted while the sun was setting in the background. After nearly two hours, the show finished and it was already night time, the day which was hot had turned into a cold breeze, blowing the hairs on my face.

BUBBA GUMP----that night, we ate our hearts out on shrimps, shrimps and more shrimps at BUBBA GUMP. I can still taste as the butter on the shrimps melted in my mouth---that good ey….and the price was gooood…..put a hole in my pocket it did……but no worries, it was all worth it.

BALIday five 240708


This year on my birthday, I started the day with a big YAWN…..i was still tired from water sports the other day and the bed felt sooo good! I just felt like dozing off the whole day with the warm comforter around me in an air-cond room…in Bali…aaahhhh…life is good…..

Before I start this entry, I would like to (cewah) thank everyone that wished me at midnight and times after that. A simple birthday wish comes a long way, every single message and call means so much to me especially if it is from people that I am close with. This year’s award for the person that first wished me goes to = my beloved KAKAK!!!!yeayyy….actually my mommy called earlier on to wish in case she fell asleep before midnight(which she did).

Anyway, we went rafting that day. Alhamdulillah, duit MARA baru masuk!! Did you know, I was in Bali with not enough money!!!! If my parents knew about it, they would have killed me thrice! I felt blessed as the money I needed to finish my trip in Bali had finally arrived, and I skipped happily to the place for rafting. It was a bumpy 2 and a half hour ride down the river, the jungle opened its arms to us and we breathed in the fresh green jewel Bali was showing to us. As if the ride was not tiring enough, we had to climb a few hundred steps to the top when the ride finished. Lunch was provided and we ate like wild hogs. The cold water and the lush jungle made us hungrier than ever. By the way, since I was in Bali, everything I ate tasted good and as usual, if Nadya eats more = Nadya weighs more…. Sigh…..

After rafting, we were going to head back to the hotel when we passed a safari. Just for fun, we went in the newly built animal safari and it was a cute thing to do. All of us had fun in there even though the place was going to close shortly. I got to ride on a camel, which was my first time.hehe



The night was spent at the beach…in front of our fave hangout…the rock shop stop!hehehe….those were good times….

BALIday four

BALIday four 230708

We set out early in the morning…it is watersports day! Finally the day that would make us feel like we really are in Bali. If you had read the posts before, most of the places we visited was cold, which is quite unbelievable. So, the fourth day in Bali is dedicated to getting our skin burnt and crispy!!

In my long pants and long sleeves which were chosen to block the sun, we got on a boat and headed of to another part of the beach. Kicking it off firstly with parasailing, (for all who do not know me well, I AM AFRAID OF HEIGHTS), we are hooked up to a parachute and straight away blown by the wind when pulled by a speed boat right up into the air…. I could see a hundred miles from up there. The scenery was awesome! I thought I would be afraid, but I guess because it was kind of leisurely, it felt good up there.

Next item on the list, we went snorkelling. The ocean was not as clear as most days so we could not see much. We were given bread to feed the fish though, but by the time the bread reached the swirling water, it was gone with the waves…

I kinda feel very touristy…is my blog entry getting a bit too much like a family travel guide? Well, what the heck, its my blog anyway…hehe.. as I was saying, we took a trip to turtle island and I think it felt more like a zoo, I took pictures with animals (so budak kecikky). Barefooted as we trudged in the sand, I think I stepped on a lot of animal poo….

Once we were finished with those, only the three of us (me, elis and miss guling a.k.a tahirah) took up the other sports while the others basked in the hot sun. We got on a banana boat for starters and it was more like a scenic ride as it was slow. I did enjoy it as we sped along the coasts and I could see more of that part of Bali, which is known as Nusa Dua. A famous spot for water sport and also resorts. The next activity was one which took a toll on me – wakeboarding! I really felt like giving up when I was trying. It is kind of like skateboard in water. I felt like the water running through my nose every time I fell back into the sea was trying to blow my brains out!for Real!! We ended the day with Flying Fish, which I went on alone, not scary but quite cool. At the end of the day, it was already nearing four and we were the last ones to go home. I enjoyed the day, but I just cant seem to write a more exciting entry for this day because im kind of tired. (this blog is written late and not on the day intended)

Sunday, 27 July 2008


BALIDay Three 230708 2010


My most favourite pastime of all. I went crazy over souveniors in this shop called Krisna. (By the way, ill make a small continuation from the day before…about the shopping done in Ubud). Ubud is like a marketplace, we have to haggle for the best price on every item. Some shopkeepers were kind to give their good price at it was nearly the end of the day, while others stubbornly stood by there stand in charging the foreigners at outrageous prices! I absolutely loved the bags sold there, really, they were lovely. I tried finding for those bags in other places, but unfortunately, I am still unfortunate in finding them. So, today, the driver took us to this shop where all things have a fixed price, and cheap and best of all……..CAN USE CREDIT CARD MA! Im so sorry to have to use my credit card at this point, because I kind of promised to myself to use the cash that I had in hand. Again, unfortunately, my scholarship money has not been banked in yet and I am totally cashless right now. Here I bought stuff for my aunts in Malaysia, souveniors for friends and for myself, only the essentials. (yeahh right).


Today, at this very place, we felt the coldness of Bali again. Bedugul is another place high up in the mountains of Bali. As usual, none of us were prepared for cold in Bali, so we were practically shivering way up in high altitudes. The journey up was a long one, so once we reached the top, we decided it was time for lunch already. Our stop—Mentari Restaurant, another Balinese Buffet. By the way, did I mention yet, so far, all the food that I ate and munched and crunched in Bali tastes sooo good. Im beginning to think that my body metabolisme has increased as my sense of hunger has grown a few inches longer!

--Ulun Danu Bratan Temple

The floating temple, the locals call it. And yes, it is a sight to behold. The clean temple grounds boasts the magnificent glory of the Hindhus in the past of Bali island. The splendid architecture was exquisite and each temple had its own unique carvings. This place is just a few minutes away from Bedugul. The lake from this temple is connected with the same lake from Bedugul.

--Strawberry farm and Monkeys jumping on me in Monkey Temple

That one was a looser tourist site (jahatnya saya cakap macam tu). The strawberry farm was just a short stop so I did not get too pissed off about it. Our next destination was the Monkey Temple. Something interesting happened to me while I was in the monkey temple. We were strolling down the road leading to the temple with our guide when a dozen or so monkeys suddenly began oo-oo-aa-aa-iiiiiiiiing at me and the big mamma jumped on my head and began jumping on my hair!!!i felt like I was being held hostage on a practical joke being pulled by cheeky monkeys!! Then as Big Mamma jumped down after I was screaming, Big Daddy tugged on my jeans and gave me cute puppy-dog eyes, looking up at me and asking for food. That was the cutest thing ever! Monkeys sure know a way to a girls heart or head, especially mine =)

--Tanah Lot, sunset and sad sea

We arrived late at our last visit, the infamous Tanah Lot, which temples crown the front pages of many Bali post cards. The day was not meant to be, and we did not catch the sunset in time. We took pictures before it got dark, bought a few things in the tourist market and headed back to our hotel after a very tiring day traveling the inner parts of Bali island.

--Night à Same tradition, tapaw food and ate on beach, went to Legian Street which is famous for its night life. There were loads of hot clubs for groovy clubbers. On the way back, we past the place where two of the clubs were bombed – Paddys club and another one which I cant remember. There were 500 casualties during the bombing and a monument stands to remember the dead during those dark days.