Saturday, 31 January 2009

the (1st) 10 commandments

#1. learn how to control your EMOTICONS

I have a problem. I have a problem in controlling my emotions. I have a problem in controlling my emotions when they get out of hand.

IF there was an anger management class, i think i would be the first one to sign up.
Before i start,let me define a few types of anger according to me

cepat marah is the usual form of anger. too much of this disease can cause fatal consuquences.

merajuk is a form of anger where you have this feeling of kecik hati(small heart). The etiology of small heart is that you feel people do not care for you, or you did not get something that you wanted.

jealous is defined as a disease of the heart when other people do better or have other things that you dont have.

  • Could anger issues be a genetic problem because if they were, i know where they came from. I definitely think it came from my dads side, the Negeri Sembilan people with their very strong features and muka-oh-so-garang compared to the always smilling side from my Perakian mom.
  • bUT if it wasnt genetic, i would say that the syaitan got control of me, that smart ass of a devil. If i could get my hands on that devil, ill wring his neck!! How dare he play with my emotions!!
  • BUT THEN AGAIN, if it wasnt neither...could it really be....could it really be from me myself...sigh...(i still think its genetic)... haha...anyway, if it was from me, i sure need to deal with it...i dont want to go on with my life being a sadistically angry fella..thats so sad

I noticed dad has this problem too, he tries to control it, but like me, it does get out of hand. We are very impatient, and like a lion who had his tail stepped on, we do lash out to the people closest to us. This is the first time im going public about this problem of mine. Im sure many people have this problem, but do not face it. LEt me refer to us people facing this problem as Anger-Problem-Emo (APE)..ahhhaaa

DO you want to know the feeling? It starts with easily getting annoyed by small things, we APEs have very low patience level, we dont like people to be late or slow. Dont like people who complain or whine a lot, and basically we just dont like lots of things. For me, i feel my chest burning and getting hotter everytime i try to calm down my anger. There is this hot boiling bubble feeling near the throat, then its BREATH, 1,2,3, BREATH 1,2,3 AND BRE..waaaaaAAA!!!at the 3rd breathing attempt, ill erupt like a volcanoe and start my anger rampage. i think the mechanism is something like this

Genetic --> devil --> personality --> small problem --> turns into big problem --> MARAHLA!...haiyyaaa

(Ingatlah dan kenangkanlah ihsan Tuhan kepada kamu) ketika orang-orang yang kafir itu menimbulkan perasaan sombong angkuh yang ada dalam hati mereka (terhadap kebenaran Islam) - perasaan sombong angkuh secara Jahiliah (yang menyebabkan kamu panas hati dan terharu), lalu Allah menurunkan semangat tenang tenteram kepada Rasul-Nya dan kepada orang-orang yang beriman (sehingga tercapailah perdamaian), serta meminta mereka tetap berpegang kepada kalimah takwa, sedang mereka (di sisi Allah) adalah orang-orang yang sangat berhak dengan kalimah takwa itu serta menjadi ahlinya. Dan (ingatlah), Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui akan tiap-tiap sesuatu. (al-Fath: 26)

I placed this surah here to show that i think the boiling feeling is true. You see, when anger overcomes you, we get this feeling of panas hati. I think it is at this point where the devil comes in. So the mechanism should be something like this.

APE cannot manage anger --> devil quickly strikes you heart chord --> panas hati ....can this be true

Someone once said, no matter what, always turn back to the holy Quran and hadiths. so, turning on a more Islamic tone, if you ever try to find when the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was angry, that would never happen . He did get red in the face or visibly upset, but thats as far as he goes. How odd, indeed, that despite claiming our sincere desire to emulate the Prophet, you and I continue to exercise little self-restraint when we are angry. Instead, we say hurtful things and sometimes, in our weakest moments, we resort to pushing, hitting, or punching others, or throwing things at them.

"When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His Book which is with Him on His Throne, 'My Mercy overpowers My anger.'" (Al-Bukhari, Book 54, #416)

"The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself when in anger." (Al-Bukhari, Book 73, #135)

A man said to the Prophet, "Advise me!" The Prophet said, "Do not get angry." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said each time, "Do not get angry." (Al-Bukhari, Book 73, #137)

What is the solution to our anger? The main thing to understand here, is that the solution lies within us. it is not genetic, it is not the devil that first caused it, but it is from us ourselves with a little nudge from our evil counterparts. Every time we get angry, try to do these things in less than 5 seconds, because =

in seconds

1st second = brain gets angry at something
2nd second = boiling feeling in heart
3rd second = breath in and out (hyperventilate!!)
4th second = brain flashes out some images of evaluation whether or not the consequences are that bad if we burst out
5th second = if you step over this, then theres no turning back, because you would already be screaming at the top of your lungs at this time.

  1. I would go with the breathing exercise first, i think it does help, just needs a few modifications. if i erupt at the third breathe, then i should stop at the second breathe followed by other things.
  2. Ask yourself, the reason for the anger and the effects it would cause if you burst out.
  3. Here are some things to recite in case all else fails. You can just choose a simple one that suits you, (in that 5 critical seconds), Allah does not discriminate whether our Doa` is long or not, its the heart that counts...
  • A`oodhu billahi mina ash-shaytaani ar-rajeem
  • Allahumma innee a`oodhu bika min hamazaati ash-shayaateen; wa a`oodhu bika rabbi an yahdhuroonee
  • Astaghfiru Allah
  • Rabbi qinee sharra nafsee; rabbi qinee sharra sam `ee; rabbi qinee sharra basaree; rabbi qinee sharaa lisaanee
  • Subhaan Allah, al-hamdu lillah, laa ilaha illa Allah, wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa bi-illah

Hope this entry can help myself and others in becoming a better person....Peace

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

words as an elixir

Since now i have my own blog, which i am entitled to write anything in, i hope to share with friends who do not know about a book that i published ages ago. it is called WORDS AS AN ELIXIR, a compilation of poetry that i had written since the early age of five or 4(i even forgot when i first started writing) until i was 13. The poems had been collected by my parents without my knowledge until i turned 13 and thus, this book was published.

So, today i would like to publicize this book which was published when i was 13 in SMK ptrajaya. The poems are that of a child, but as it goes, the thoughts of a child is that of innocence and i truly believe that what i wrote in those days were of what every innocent child has in their minds.

When this book was first published, half of what i make out of it is given to the children in Lebanon. Alhamdulillah, a few months ago, the first edition of this book was completely sold. So, i am trying to print the second edition and hope that i have the time to publish more books in the years to come.

Here are some excerpts from this book :


life, what can be the meaning
hope, trust without feeling
light, star no longer shinning
of a broken arrow without bearing.

a lost soul out of direction
human being without affection
armageddon waiting to happen
of a broken arrow in heaven

thus broken life line forever gone
leaving ties and relations mourn
black and black all adorn
remembering the remembered, just born

lost now all hope of recovering
lost now all hope of meeting and seeing
the one trusted, that human being
God took that soul, gone to the road bring

life, gone now, dear one
hope, gone now, dear one,
light, through that trail run
of a broken arrow gone


below is an advertisement in the internet, available if you google my name..huhu

Words as An Elixir
Nadya Amin Shaharudin

This book is a collection of poems written by Nadya Amin when she was thirteen years old. According to her parents she is a gifted self-taught poetry writer. She was able to read at a very early age. She started writing poetry since the age of five. Through these poems, she is able to express her articulate feelings for her family, friends, nature and life. There are 57 poems altogether split into 4 chapters, namely:
Chapter 1 – The Beginning
Chapter 2 – A Simple Symphony From Nature
Chapter 3 – The Wise Words of Wisdom
Chapter 4 – As Life Goes On
Indeed, this is an excellent book for those who appreciate and enjoy reading poems and for students who wants to excel l in English literature.
The Forward of the book was written by the former Minister of Education Malaysia, Tan Sri Dato’ Seri Musa Bin Mohamad.
Price: US$15.00 (RM$35.00)
Delivery charges (surface parcel):
1) Within Malaysia
• Penin. M’sia : RM2.50
• W. M’sia: RM5.50
Transit time: Allow 10 - 14 working days
2) International
• Japan: US$10.00
• Canada: US$6.00
• Finland: US$11.00
The rate for other countries, please consult Pos Malaysia (
Subject to fluctuating $ exchange rates
Transit time: Allow 10 – 25 working days

Saturday, 24 January 2009

kisah ibunda dan ayahanda tercinta


A few months ago, my family took these photos in a studio during our holiday in Canada. I have been begging them to take our family portrait for (can you believe it,21 years,hey,thats as old as i am!). Finally, everyone thought that this was THE perfect TIME to snap a few non-candid photos.

To start of, my everything that you never expect a family to be, and thats what i cherish the most. We look picture perfect here, but like most families, we do have our share of hard times, ordeals and problems. With all that we have been through, this is the glue that sticks my family together, LOVE...

So today, allow me to take you on a journey down memory lane to MEET THE SHAHARUDINS~


Dad met mom at a tennis court, and as the story goes, they fell instantly in LOVE. Dad is a really great tennis player, and hes a real sportsman. If i were the same age as mom, i would have dated dad ages ago. HE had the looks, he had the style, but only one thing he didnt have way back then, he didnt have MY MOMMY(yet). So, what he did was, he offered to coach my mom in playing tennis, and my mom, being MOM, swooned head over heels at this dashing fellow.

Dad has always been my idol, ever since i was small. We always ask him loads of questions, and no matter how stupid they sound, dad always gave us scientific explanations. Me, my brother and my sister would climb at the back of the family car and would ask things like `Dad, how does the vaccum cleaner work` or `Dad, why does the rain fall down and not up`. Dad, being a scientist, would keep quite for approximately 5 minutes, and we would sit still wondering whether he heard or not. Suddenly, he would give a long explanation about our question until we are extremely satisfied with it. Sometimes,when i was a bit older and knew more stuff, i liked to act smarter than dad and tested him, to see whether or not he knows the things i just learnt, and trust me, dad could answer anything. I once asked him if he knew what was the formula for one problem when i was learning physics, without blinking an eye, daddy gave the fomula as if it was right in the palm of his ey~~

Oh yeahh, dad has this affinity towards queer things. My childhood days were coloured with fond memories of daddy bringing happiness into our lives, but bringing dread to mom`s..haha...wanna know why?Dad loved to fulfill his childrens wishes, when we start our sentence with a DAD,CAN WE HAVE A, mom would start hissing at us. When kakak wanted a rabbit, she got not one, but 5,6,7 cute baby rabbits. When dad was in a craze for laptops, he would buy not one for himself, but for the whole family clan. Did i tell u, dad loved horses A LOT. And strangely, the horses loved him and would gallop to him no matter when they are called. So, no matter where we moved, the horses came with us.

Mom is totally different than dad. Dad has always been into science, while mom on the other hand is very gifted in all things art. She was an English lecturer (eventhough she speaks MAlay only to me, i wonder why). Mommy is a smart businesswoman, shes systematic, charismatic (all things ending with -ic) and is good in leadership but most of all, shes the PERFECT MOM. I think God must have taken pity on our family and landed an angel in the midst of our chaotic lives.

My mom is someone who taught us how to be who we are now. She taught us how to be independent, strong and also the i-dont-care-what-bullshit-as-long-as-im-ok attitude (i heard mom say bullshit once,that was the only curse i heard from her...haha). No matter how strong mom was, she always spoils her children. Shes one of those SUPER MOMS, the ones where they can change from a business suit and holding a suitcase to wearing an apron and cooking dinner at the next minute. I always marvel at how mom comes home tired from work, still capable of coming back with a beautiul smile, calling us baby, or princess, or sayang and hugging us all. The next minute,she would be downstairs, back in the kitchen cooking for us the best dinner ever and without saying how tired she was. At nights, mom would call me into her room, saying (tolong picit mamas shoulder boleh), and i would grumble and when she closed her eyes a bit, i would quickly tip-toe away...then mom would open her eyes and say (alaaa,kenapa dah nak pergi), and i would sulk a bit because i was missing the next episode for a tv series. That was when i was small, (although the habit still goes on until now), mom never grumbled, but her children, oh her children grumbled a lot...(sorry mom)..because for her, family always comes first. I remember mom telling us how she loved coke but had to share it with my sister and brother because at that time they were living in the states and had to budget.

One thing about mom, is she worries a lot. She has the softest heart in the universe and when she worries (mostly about her notty children), anything can trigger her crying mechanism. My mom deserves only the best in her life for her sacrifice throughout these years. i just hope that we have made her happy all this while....


Tuesday, 20 January 2009

a guide to the palestine-israel war for dummies(like me)

i tried to summarize the history of how the war began as best as i can...i hope i got the facts right...and i hope this answers the question on whose land is it anyway~~

3rd milennium bc =

the original inhabitants of palestine are the CANAAITES, it is a strategic place,so many people want to invade the land for themselves.

2nd milennium bc =

--ok, now you see, the original people, the CANAAITES were defeated by 2 tribes..the PHILISTINES and the ISRAELITES. the philistines had most of the land because they were more superior in military organization
--land was separated into 2

1st milennium bc =

many things happened during this era, what i can summarize from here is that the king of the israelites at that time, king david defeated the philistines and the place continued to prosper under his son, solomon.

1-999 ad =

--this is how the muslims got hold of the land, and i hope this answers any questions about whose land palestine really belongs too summarize it, the arab conquest began and was succesful, the land was now theirs but the jews and christians were allowed to live there, and they had equal amounts of autonomy on the land---

638 AD : The Arab conquest began 1300 years of Muslim presence in what then became known as Filastin. Eager to be rid of their Byzantine overlords and aware of their shared heritage with the Arabs, the descendants of Ishmael, as well as the Muslims reputation for mercy and compassion in victory, the people of Jerusalem handed over the city after a brief siege. They made only one condition, That the terms of their surrender be negotiated directly with the Khalif 'Umar in person. 'Umar entered Jerusalem on foot. There was no bloodshed. There were no massacres. Those who wanted to leave were allowed to, with all their goods. Those who wanted to stay were guarantee protection for their lives, their property and places of worship.

Palestine was holy to Muslims because the Prophet Muhammad had designated Jerusalem as the first qibla (the direction Muslims face when praying) and because he was believed to have ascended on a night journey to heaven from the the old city of Jerusalem (al-Aqsa Mosque today) , where the Dome of the Rock was later built. Jerusalem became the third holiest city of Islam. The Muslim rulers did not force their religion on the Palestinians, and more than a century passed before the majority converted to Islam. The remaining Christians and Jews were considered People of the Book. They were allowed autonomous control in their communities and guaranteed security and freedom of worship. Such tolerance was rare in the history of religion . Most Palestinians also adopted Arabic and Islamic culture. Palestine benefited from the empires trade and from its religious significance during the first Muslim dynasty, the Umayyads of Damascus.

750 AD : It shared, however, in the glory of Muslim civilization, when the Muslim world enjoyed a golden age of science, art, philosophy, and literature. Muslims preserved Greek learning and broke new ground in several fields, all of which later contributed to the Renaissance in Europe.

1845 =

--the year zionism first evolved

1845 Jewish in Palestine were 12,000 increased to 85,000 by 1914. All people in Palestine were Arabic Muslims and Christians.

as you all know, the jews had migrated all over the world after muslims had taken over palestine. then the nazis tried to kill they cowardly sought a land for themselves. with the help of great britain at that time, the first zionist congress was formed.

britain decided that palestine should be THE NEW NATIONAL HOME FOR ALL THESE JEWS.


let me make one thing clear...there is a big difference between the jews who are zionist and those who arent.. the ones who are creating this war are the zionists, on the other hand, most of the other jews do not agree on the war itself.

free palestine

Monday, 19 January 2009

news 19th

TEL AVIV, 19 January 2009 (IRIN) - As relative calm settles over Gaza for the first time in three weeks following the Israeli ceasefire, the scale of the humanitarian crisis is becoming evident. Some 100 bodies have been discovered in areas that were previously inaccessible.Gaza Destruction

The grim discovery brings the Gaza death toll since the Israeli offensive began on 27 December 2008 to over 1,300, according to officials of the UN agency for Palestinian refugees (UNWRA) - and that number is expected to rise. Over 5,400 have been wounded.

Consumer Boycott

Break your silence and take action!

The Israeli barcode begins with 729

The Israeli barcode starts with 729

WE WILL NOT GO DOWN (Song for Gaza)

WE WILL NOT GO DOWN (Song for Gaza) from Mustafa Ahmed on Vimeo.

A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they’re dead or alive
They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight
Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who’s wrong or right
But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze
We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

OF coca cola, bigmac, and KOPI RADIX -- PART I

A few weeks ago, i was reading this article on what israeli products i should boycott when suddenly, i overheard a conversation between a non-muslim friend and some muslim friends... it went something like this

A = why do you want to boycott all these products, how can you even live without all these...

N = huh??erm...but...thats the least you can do

A = the least you can do?the least you can do is to give the palestinians money...

N= i know...but....

A = look here, maggie eat that right

N = i can eat indomie..huhu

A= dont tell me you didnt just go and watch the latest bedtime stories,thats in the things you are supposed to boycott..and kfc...and mcd...and coke...and .....

N = erm...(i think i can hear someone calling me)

A = one person not boycotting or boycotting wont make a difference u know!

A = and why is there a fuss between the palestinians and the jews? if you look back in history, that land belonged to the jews anyway

N = (blank) ---blink2...

Well, as you can guess, character N is me...huhu...and i was caught by surprised. At that time, i realised, what do i really think about boycottting american-jew products and did i even have a clue of what is happening in palestine? looks like i dont. because if i did, i could have answered all those questions in a blink of an eye, and here we are boasting as muslims...shame on me, shame on us~

(taking a deep,here goes, my friends..)

Personally, what i am doing now is im trying to CUT DOWN on what i use that may contribute to the MURDERs in Palestine. I still go to the movies(warner bros and all is obviously a very jewish company), i still drink a weekly dose of coca-cola,and i would really like to get my hands on some BIGMAC RIGHT NOW... but i try to downsize to some extent. Get what i mean? I am just one person in this world, can i make a difference? YES.. why? you never know, maybe.....

--> nadya NO bigmac --> BULLET not MADE --> ONE bullet NOT THERE

--> bullet NO SHOOT innocent child --> nadya SAVED child? ...insyaAllah....

Dr Mahathir wrote in his blog, that he too agreed on the boycott issue. But to some extent. Eventhough those are products made by those people, but the people who work in the factories, the restaurants, the shops...they are OUR people. We might eventually have dented our own economy. The solution is, that the same company could manufacture other products that are not contributing to the economy in Israel. Another solution,written by someone else is that the companies like starbucks in malaysia could donate to palestine themselves. (i wonder is that possible).

Anyway, the story goes, that even if every single Malaysian did not buy an american product which contributed their money to Israel, it would not even dent the economy in the U.S. But, what it would do, is to show how much we hate what they are doing, it shows how much we care and oppose the MASSACRE IN PALESTINE...

one more thing, do you know why we become materialistic... you, we love it when we show of our new CALVIN KLEIN watch dont we.....we love it when we flaunt in the new sexy DKNY summer dress..but do you/we(choose one) know that those are american companies that would donate their income to the zionist cause in no time? to answer why we become more materialistic, is...that the jews are smart....they create these companies, advertise them as great as hell and make everyone want to buy them as soon as they are showcased in the mall. These things are not cheap, mind you...and sometimes, they are awesome (seriously!),sometimes, they just print a white t-shirt and put a small smiley face at the back and charge you RM 258...huh, talk about materialistic...

Ok,im seriously not finished yet...suddenly i have lots to say.. i had been trying to write something about the palestine-israel war for nearly a month now. i even asked a friend to help,which he couldnt because he was tooooo busy, i even asked some friends to read what i wrote before i put it in cyberspace(which got a -mcm poyo comment by them). so,this is the first of hopefully(huhu) others to come to show my support to my fellow brothers and sisters in palestine....

So, to you, and to you, and you.....I got some interesting things here that i think would help you and me and others understand the predicament on whether or not boycotting Israel can, should or would be done... wait ahhh