Thursday, 30 October 2008

book review

During the last summer holidays i read loads of really nice books, but i cant seem to remember all the titles...(i have a very short memory for a medical student)...So, below is just about some books that i have read in this month.. By the way, it is in indonesian, and more to religious things...i dont read these types of books as often as i do want to, but i think it is good to read it once in a while to keep us in check as a reminder of how lalai we can get. for my friends in jatinangor, if you want to read these books, you can borrow mine, if not, you can get them in tisera in jatos..hehe


tHIS book is a simple book, not too complicated with things we do not understand. but any tom,dick and harry can read this book and feel fear towards Gods thereafter days...

Amongst the contents of this book, is about how we would feel in the first few hours in the grave, alone...then what would happen to us...real creepy and scary,but a must read....

theres this one paragraph that i like from this book ....

tanyakan kepada orang yang buta yang berjalan di tengah2 keramaian tapi tidak dilanggar, siapa yang mengendalikan langkahnya

tanyakan kepada janin yang hidup sendiri di dalam perut, siapa yang telah memeliharanya

katakanlah kepada seseorang bayi yang menangis saat kelahirannya, siapa yang membuatnya menangis

tanyakan kepada susu yang bersih, padahal ia berasal dari darah dan kotoran, siapa yang menjadikannya bersih

dan jika kamu melihat seekor ular sedang menyemburkan bisanya, tanyakan juga, wahai sang ular, mengapa kau bisa hidup, padahal mulutmu penuh dengan bisa..........


THIS book tells that everything that lives---MUST die..IT IS MORE in depth than the other book, it has research on some west writers who delve on the afterlife...

it also mentions on the seven heavens and the hell that we all do not want to go too...its very informative, and as i said before, the books that i chose, are simple to read but it does give a very good understanding

some excerpts from this book

i find this part of the book very interesting---it says, the people who fall into hell will feel the torments of fire first on their skin...everytime their skin peels off and burns, Allah will replace it with another new layer, and this layer will then peel off and burn..the miracle of this, is that in science, we know that the skin is the most sensitive part of our body..and this most sensitive part is burnt first...MasyaAllah...the greatness of God

--melebur segala dosa baik kecil,
mahupun besar adalah takwa,
berbuatlah seperti orang yang berjalan di atas tanah berduri
yang selalu waspada dengan apa yang dia lihat,
jangan remehkan dosa kecil sekalipun,
kerana gunung terdiri dari kerikil......

its been a while

can you believe it...i have not been writing for nearly a month...but i do have my reasons...

1- im totally lazy
2- been in hiding for a month, appear invi most of the time
3- extremely busy with nonsense stuff --events, sleep, more sleep

anyway, today, nadya is going to write a lepak post..just something about what i have been up to this month...nothing connected with anything

alright....lets start


PENGUMUMAN: kepada sesiapa yang hendak derma kepada tabung sumbangan ikhlas untuk sara hidup nadya amin shaharudin selama sebulan, sila dial 081809**!!##....

I went out with a friend--AINAa dA sIzZlIn hOt BabE- the other day to get her a phone...we walked around the mother-of-all-phone complex for the whole day when i laid my eyes on this cool gadget..(i vowed never to buy another normal phone,and i must buy a touchscreen phone)..but i never did go through with my vow..instead...i bought this phone, its cheaper, easier and it looks cool(the most important part of it)

Because i bought this phone, and i paid my house rent, my bank account is now flat, from RM5000 i only have i think around RM80 in it right now...if my mom knows about this, she will definitely kill me,bring me alive and kill me again. anyway, im trying not to eat out nowadays, have to be really careful with my savings till the next scholarship money comes in...but as me and my friend said ..LAGI RELA KELAPARAN DARI TIDAK STYLO..haha...buruk akibatnya,i know,but, im not materialistic, just EXTREMELY REALISTIC =)

ps ; i really needed a new phone, remember my beloved n76 was lost at sea....

clOSeD HOuSe gRiYa aMirA---GeMpAAq

BBQ was decided as the theme for our small party a.k.a house warming amongst us griyans...btw...did i tell you WE TOTALLY ROCCKK!!HAHA....

tentatif program --

a) my friends cooked
b) i potong halia sebiji
c) buah tembikai i yang potong
d) guys did the grill thing
e) mr UNCLE-- mc for the nite
f) mr Z AKS datang --- his mini version of a ceramah and a doa
g) the food was extremely good, im not lying...seriouz...
h) main bunga api, mercun, sambil menembak rumah2 lain di sekitar kawasan kami..haha
i) UNO game

i retired early for the night, and i didnt join the uno game...but all i can say is, the night was a real smokin hot night, i think everyone had fun. the real purpose was to get close to the juniors who just moved in, but in the end, all us GRIYANs are closer than ever...luv u guys!!

Monday, 13 October 2008


where is the light.....

I AM NOT strong

I AM NOT courageous

I AM NOT brave

I AM NOT what you think i am

This is the post mortem of my first week in the tudung phase...

Firstly, i would like to thank everyone that has been really supportive in this external move of mine to get me closer to God. I received lots of wonderful and supportive messages that had kept me going all through the week. I keep every single message in my heart in the hopes that i would not let a lot of people down......

But sadly........


It has only been one week, and yet i think it is the hardest week of my life. It was and still is a major depression time for me. I cry nearly every day of the week.I dont feel hot or sweaty or hard because im wearing the tudung. ITs the act itself plus my old life raging inside of me....the devil in me just needs to get out, the soul that i sold to rock and roll is dying, waiting for a time to be wild again. Im the type of person who walks out of the house wearing the simplest thing i can find, i dont often dress-up(even if it seems like it)...seriously, i NEVER iron my clothes, i DONT brush my hair to class, i GRAB anything i can find in my closet and put it on. I do things fast and i hate scrupples....and yet here i am, having to match scarf and tudung, ironing, argh...(cursing).


did i move to fast? did i make the RIGHT decision at the WRONG time? Am i missing my old life too much? Was my mind actually influenced by other people when i made the decision? Did i not think clearly when i did it? I am not a good decision maker, i try, but i am clearly not. My family and close friends know, the sadder i am, the harder i laugh. I crack stupid jokes just to make me feel better, i talk loudly to make it seem as if i am happy...the question is, am i? i feel distant from my family and close friends. i dont like going out of the house...i used to be, i am contented to be alone in my room. Ku melangkah keluar dari kampus, ku berlari menuju hidupku yang tenteram di duniaku sendiri.... i lock my door, put on the loudest rock music and just escape from the world......


Some people tOOK me aside,------asking why the heck did i wear the tudung. Did i loose my head(hair).?..I wasnt cut out to be this miss-goody 2-shoes, just stop the futile act and be yourself again...Your not one of us anymore...babe, uve lost the coolness in u..take it off man!!...Wut!!??

Some people took me aside,-----telling me if i ever take the tudung of, it will break their hearts. sampai hati....kecewa....ill let a lot of people down, especially to some who looked up to what i did. PEople would think i did it for popularity, once it has died down, ill get bored of it..NO!!

Suddenly, its not between me and God anymore...NIAT ASALKU TELAH BERUBAH??!!! Suddenly, its about me AND THE WHOLE God-forsaken community! I was on a journey to find now LOOSING my identity....

I do not want to let a lot of people down, i do not want to let myself down, most importantly, i do not want to let Allah down....God, show me the light that i found.....i had lost it along the way. Wheres the fire burning inside of me that i had weeks ago? I felt so close to God then, where is that feeling? Adakah kerana aku telah menzahirkan apa yang aku niatkan, aku telah hilang apa yang dicari selama ini?

Pray tell...should i have taken things slowly, really2 make sure that the inside of me was 100% goodness and then take it out??ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!


A friend asked me, apa susahnya nk pakai tudung? Yeah, its not hard at all...its keeping up with it thats hard....Setiap kesusahan yang menimpa kita di jalan menuju KEBENARAN, NIKMAT yang diberi berlipat ganda...Is it the devil telling me to take the wrong path?or is my psychology and heart telling me i made the wrong decision...The confused human mind asks the soul....Siapa tidak ingin menjadi penegak kebenaran ummat ISlam? As a child, i had only one dream--menjadi anak yang solehah---so that i could pray for my parents when they are gone ---- is it too hard to do one simple thing??


To others out there, searching for the truth, my entry today is not to let you down on taking the big step...Its just a reminder of the challenges that you are to face once you are on the right path..This is HONESTLY, TRUTHFULLY from my heart...I DO NOT WANT TO LIE TO PEOPLE AND LET YOU ALL IMAGINE THAT I AM LIVING A LIFE FULL OF WONDERFUL BUTTERFLIES...I do not know how long i would continue, maybe if i take it of, i can find back my way deeper in my religion? Maybe if i go on, i would find my way eventually? I DONT KNOW...the decision remains unknown....BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP MY PATH IN BECOMING A BETTER judge me, only God is fit to do that....




-- REMEMBER...YOU ARE DESTINED FOR GREATNESS..................................

Thursday, 9 October 2008

My comments on the comments….part 1


So…as I promised, here are my humble opinions about the comments given on my entry on STIGMA BERTUDUNG DAN TIDAK BERTUDUNG. My opinions are based on what I feel, as I do not have a deep knowledge on hadiths and all that, I may be wrong, I may be right, but hey, its an open discussion right. All of us can learn from each other. And hope there are no hard feelings afterwards..So, to all my virtual and non-virtual friends, sorry if ada terkasar bahasa in my opinions.

Comments to hekenawang


kita semua tau yg tudung tu hukumnya wajib dipakaikan?
apa yg dh ada dlm agama, wajib, haram, sunat, semua tu dah jelas.
knape nk pertikaikan lg ape yg mmg
dah jelas tertulis dlm agama, hukum agama?

ME =

Its not the fact that I do not believe that the tudung is wajib or not. Saya tidak mempertikaikan kewajipan memakai tudung, sebaliknya hanya memikirkan tentang zaman sekarang, di mana umat Islam mempunyai pandangan yang serong kepada orang yang tidak memakai tudung. Personally, for me, it is important to know the rules of God but it is also important to do a little bit of soul searching ourselves. In my case, I did this. Remember the story of prophet ibrahim?


One night, Ibrahim went up to the mountain, leaned against a rock, and looked up to the sky. He saw a shining star, and told his people: "Could this be my Lord?" But when it set he said: "I don't like those that set." The star has disappeared, it could not be God. God is always present. Then he saw the moon rising in splendor and told them: "Could this be my Lord?" But it also set. At daybreak, he saw the sun rising and said: t "Could this be my Lord, this is bigger?" But when the sun set he said: "O my people I am free from all that you join as partners with Allah! I have turned my face towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah."

So, from here, we can see that the prophet Ibrahim went on a journey to search for the truth. With Allahs help, he got what he wanted to know in the end.

It is unfair to say that orang yang tidak memakai tudung mempertikaikan hukum agama, as FUZZY said, for all you know, we could have an extra finger and you wouldn’t know it. We cannot judge people on what we see from outside. I think, most people who do not wear the tudung, are just taking a longer time to search for the truth.


lagi, kenapa harus dibenci ajakan kepada sesuatu yg baik?

ME =

We do live among people, so we do need to know what other people think of us. I agree on this. Its called personal analysis and it is good to know other peoples point of view on ourselves. Fuzzy said this --

Should we not question? Should we not argue? Should we just follow like sheep or should we analyze with our God-given mind? The power of analyzing ourselves, when achieved in the right way, would draw us closer to our God. In my opinion, maybe we should dephrase –membenci ajakan kepada sesuatu yang baik-, but change it to menganalysis sesuatu yang baik dan buruk. (am I making sense here)


Ok..thanks for the link to, so I came across this article, I don’t know if this was the one you wanted me to see, the debate to raja petra. My question is, this person who wrote this rebuttal, is his point is that women should wear the veil but not cover their faces or how? Could you elaborate..thank you

Raja Petra Wrote : "O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." Surah Al-Ahzab (33), verse 59.

Comment : Firstly, see the words 'so that they may be recognised and not annoyed'. This means at least the face must be visible. It is wrong to say that other women at that time (non Muslim Arabs, Jews, Christians) did not wear the tudung. The truth is that the Jewish and Christian women wore far more conservative tudung than the Muslim women.

Covering the body is also required of men and women in the desert. It has nothing to do with any religion. So when the verse says 'so that they may be recognised' it actually means the women should not cover their face or head in such a way that the people cannot differentiate them from other Christian and Jewish women who also wear tudung and veils. This means there is no such thing as a tudung to cover your head and face.

My answers to Raja Petra statements are in this entry. Come and take part in the discussion.

Some people trying to support their thought by presenting -so called- Jewish and christian veil's pictures which are adapted from wikipedia and other unknown sources. Show us the absolute verse in Injil and Taurat which defines the Jewish and Christian's veil, without it, your pictures are insufficient, useless and unreliable at all. Again, show me the bible and taurat original verse.

It is learnt that the Christian woman is to cover her head whenever she is praying, whether it be at the church service or just personal prayer at home. This may mean that if she is not praying at home, she is uncovered around male guests who are not related to her



here's the thing, "to be a better muslim, u have to wear tudung", it's true. it's not a malay thought. it's an islamic thought. but i'm not saying those who wear tudung is essentially better than those who doesn't.

ME =

I do not agree on the first sentence myself, the part where to be a better muslim, you have to wear a tudung. This sounds like we judge people from the outside. We are but mere mortals and have no right to judge other mortals. I would like to question this, why is it always the issue of the muslim women so much more than the aurat of the men (im a bit of a feminist, huhu, so if you don’t mind, this is a feminist statement). Men can go around wearing shorts and it would not be such a big deal as a women not wearing a tudung. It is aurat just the same. No one judges that man as less a muslim. Why is this?


OK, so i spent my thursday holiday only able to comment not even half from all of you comments. I do not find my article of an educational value, as i still am not able to kluarkan all the fatwas and hadiths like all of you did, but i would really like to one day. Its great to know that the Islamic debate is a great one, perbezaan pendapat dalam Islam, adalah salah satu keindahan Islam...

Theres more that i want to say, but guess my brain is still woozy from the morning sun...Anyway, i think the next part would be about the dogs and the string. I as a born and bred musician have lots to disagree on this...anyway, have a nice day ahead people..

Monday, 6 October 2008

and the journey has begun


Today, 06.10.08, the day that many people gaped with their mouth wide open at nadya amin shaharudin. after my last controversial entry on my blog, suddenly, i am doing the unthinkable...and i did it. I of all people, wore the infamous head scarf....the word that i had dreaded for so long, the T-U-D-U-N-G.


Ok, so i promised to reply the comments about the stigma of bertudung and tidak bertudung. but i think at this point, firstly, people would want to know why i made such a drastic decision and change. SO, my next entry after this is for the comments. p.s= this entry is a bit jumbled up, im like really new to this blast of emotions im feeling...seriously


Mind you all, i have been thinking about this for a long time, almost over a year. The last entry on my blog, was actually written when my heart was already set on wearing the tudung, i was just waiting for the right time. i have no idea why i am embarking myself on this strange journey to get me closer to God, i mean for heavens sake, i am surely a mere mortal, who is only another face in the crowd. But, looks like God did favor me a bit now and then, as i keep hearing a little voice inside me reminding me that i must be destined for GREATNESS(or was it just my imagination). Well, anyway, some people say you get restless if you do not do something, so thats the way i was.


It was not an easy decision to make..who said wearing the tudung was easy must be senile. I set my heart to wear it on the first day class started after Eid. The whole holiday, my mind had been hovering over the fact was i brave enough to do something like this..i mean,its me your talking who sold her soul to rock and roll!!(i got that part from the reapers series)..anyway, i went out once to bandung, wearing a tudung, to try out how it would feel, it felt ok,so i thought i could summon the strength to do my most daring act yet.

The night before the BIG DAY, suddenly i felt myself loosing it, i did not have the confidence to do it. i cried and wept at the thought of how my life will change 360 degrees, thank God, a good friend of mine called me at 2 in the morning to comfort me and give me the last strength i needed to go ahead with my decision. I was howling and crying to this friend of mine, and i told him, why cant guys wear tudung...i even asked him to wear a towel on his head for a day so that he could feel how it felt to wear a tudung..huhu...i thought that was funny at that time..

The next day, i wokup, took a bath, took a really really REALLLLY deep breath, and i wore the tudung without thinking twice. I felt i was brave enough to face the day...UNTIL....until i reached my university and went into class, people were staring, jaws dropped, eyes adverted mine, mouths started oowings and aahings and making their own assumptions as to why i was doing i crawled into a little corner in class...and cried...and cried...and cried.....and cried even more....the whole lecture time, i was sniffling and sobbing while the lecturer was talking..

Some people started messaging me,asking me what non-muslim friends called and messaged and told me not to change, they were afraid id get too Malayish...ha...i hope that never proud of the mixture of my pakistani and chinese descent, atleast im not too MAlay offence...anyway, i told them my says what i want to say...IF I DO WEAR A TUDUNG ONE DAY, IT WOULD NOT BE BECAUSE OF THE MALAY SOCIETY...BUT FOR MY RELIGION...


At the end of the day, people smiled at me, my lecturer hugged me and said Alhamdulillah...i felt like i did something for myself, but at the same time, i made a whole bunch of people happy (god, my parents must be beaming on me right now from canada)..haha...Its only my first day, a big obstacle that i overcame....but i do not know about the other days to come and if i would go on with this tudung phenomena...but if i do not, or do, i hope everyone will not judge me for my someone wrote on my comments....IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD....

to be continued......