Sunday, 3 May 2009

ashamed no more~

Have a very bad stomach ache today because of you-know-what and also that-you-know what and i had a very late breakfast and a late lunch. So i lulled myself to sleep the whole day to stop the pain until it was 2.30 in the afternoon. Waking up, the pain hasnt gone, but it has lessened, and it still is here~ouch! But, i cant let down my faithful blog today, i promised to write to you didnt i. I have decided that i dont want to let down any promises, and must do as i say i want to do..wish me luck on that~

I cant think well today, so my entry might be full of blabbers and unfortunate thoughts.


I have a confession to make. I am sometimes ashamed of what i write in my blog =( I mean, i dont know why, but most of my entries seem to be about God, religion and all that. And then, when people see the real me, they would go like, huh, why is she writing on all those things when she herself isnt anything like what she portrays to be. I write on my blog things that i face everyday, mistakes i make, lessons that i learn and all that i feel like writing about. Sometimes i cant help it if i suddenly want to write about religion and all, but it is just what i felt like writing on. And i did feel so ashamed of it~~

But then,i went for the comparative religion seminar on friday and saturday. Hearing what the speaker had to say, the feeling of shame has somewhat disappeared, although not totally, but it has literally gone down the drain. SOmething he said made me feel ashamed that i had felt ashamed in the first place. In a nutshell, the whole event was a real mind opener, and i should go to more things like that to remind me again and again~and again *_* Heres a summary of the things i remembered and that i took note of~


Most were pretty familiar with the speakers that day, Brother Shah Kirit and also his little brother who are both converts and has been Muslims for nearly 13 years. They grew up in a Hindu family, praying to the Hindu Gods and had no notion whatsoever of what was to change their lives forever. They gave a brief introduction on how they converted into Islam, the challenges they faced and the little signs God gave that eventually evolved into their lives. As a little boy, Bro Shah knew that the truth was out there, but he just did not know where to find it. He jokingly said that when he was small,he would pray,Tuhan, saya tak tahu awak wujud ke tak, kalau awak wujud, jagalah saya, tapi kalau awak tak wujud, saya xda apa2 nak crita.

While i was hearing his speech, it did wrench my heart at the words that he said. A funny man at times, but beneath all that joke, was a serious message that he wanted to convey. He said, while he was growing up, he was surrounded by a lot of Malay friends, Muslim friends, but not one, told him about the beauty of Islam. Not one really had the courage, or the patience to da`wa to him. Have the Muslims no pity on the people who do not know the truth, do they not care if others went unto hellfire because they died as kafirs when no one actually guided them to the right path. If he had died as a non-believer, he would curse all the people who did not try to help him, and bring them with him to hell. The room fell silent as he poured out these words, the laughter before had faded, and all looked down, a feeling of guilt in our hearts. IT is true what he said, and all of us knew it.
kenapa Islam disorokkon dari masyarakat...
At that point, i looked down at my hands, not wanting to look up because i felt the guiltiest of all. I am a Muslim, but i dont act like one, and i certainly did not take upon me the responsibility of helping others to understand about Islam. That was when i realized, i could change that, and i could do something about this... i would not stop blogging about my religion, even though with what little knowledge i had, i must be proud of what i do, i must go on, i can write,so Nadya Amin Shaharudin...write wisely~~

Nowadays, people are afraid of the very word ISLAM, MOSLEMS, ALLAH, QURAN. The very perceptive of Islam has changed, whether in our hearts, in the way we live, in the way other people see Islam, which is the most misunderstood religion in the world. When Bro Shah first wanted to know about Islam, he was afraid, because people told him that he cant do this, he cant do that, there were so many things he couldnt do that he definitely doubted the very truth of Islam. It was not until later when he met someone, who firstly told him about the beauty of Islam, the stories of the prophets and the very truth and revelations in the Quran that he became to love Islam. The moment that changed him forever was when he first read surah al-ikhlas, one of the shortest verses in the Quran, but with a very powerful meaning. For us moslems, the verse is so powerful that even with 3 recitations, it is equal to reading the whole Quran. Listening to the story of Bro Shah, now i know the reason why.

"He (Abud Darda) reported God's messenger as saying, "Is any of you capable of reciting a third of the Qur'an in a night?" On being asked how they could recite a third of the Qur'an he replied, " 'Say, He is God, One' is equivalent to a third of the Qur'an." Muslim transmitted it, and Bukhari transmitted it from Abu Sa'id."

Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem
Qul Huw-Allahu Ahad
Lam yalid wl lam yulad
Wa lam yakul lahu kufuwan ahad

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Say: He is Allah, the One!
Allah, the eternally Besought of all!
He begetteth not nor was begotten.
And there is none comparable unto Him.


To spread your religion is not an easy task, everyone knows that. But to show the beauty of your religion, is one that must be undertaken. During his speech, he said that whenever someone asks you about your religion, never argue about the truth. Take time to listen, to think, and to answer with proof. I wish i could be more like him, the very fundamentals of Islam at his fingertips, and how long has he been as Muslim...13 long have i been a Muslim~~21 years

During his early years before he finally converted, his parents, now both still Hindu, had at many times threatened to kill themselves. IT made his decision harder, but he steadfastly put his heart and soul on his decision. In the end, his love to God would have the perfect solution. 13 years has passed and his parents had finally accepted his and his brothers decision little by little. It was definitely not easy, and they faced too many challenges by taking that step, but they pushed on and never looked back. What strong people they are, truly one that we must take as an example in our weak lives.

** As a very naive person in my religion, i nonchalantly pushed aside my duty to spread Islam. How little confidence i have about answering questions when people ask me about Islam, now that is something i should be ashamed of. I have decided, now, no more. Outwardly, i may still be like someone who doesnt know much, but inwardly, i will try harder!

** It takes time to change, but change is needed.

** So the next time someone wonders why someone like me wants to write about religion in her blog, i wont be ashamed of it, because in my heart i know, at least i am doing my responsibility, no matter how small it is~~


dr.radzi said...

im happy reading dis entry..happy coz it do means something bringing bro shah to bandung n many ppl including me can learn me many things. kan? ur car pon dah berbakti tau? hehe...

May Allah bless u s always n show us the right path. amiiiinnn...

dr.radzi said...

im happy reading dis entry..happy coz it do means something bringing bro shah to bandung n many ppl including me can learn many things. kan? ur car pon dah berbakti tau? hehe...

May Allah bless us always n show us the right path. amiiiinnn...

.:: Miss Indee ::. said...

Saya rasa semua manusia kat dunia ni sedang mencari identiti diri yang sebenar. Bro Shah dah jumpa identiti dan pegangan hidup dia yang sebenar. Mudah2an kita semua pun akan ditunjukkan ke jalan yang benar-jalan yang diredhai Allah SWT...

Nadya, kata-kata dan persepsi orang kat diri kite tak perlulah diambil kira sangat. Memang adat dalam hidup, orang akan berkata-kata kalau kita cuba nak lakukan sesuatu perkara yang baik. Tapi tak semestinya orang cakap2 tentang kita tu betul. Hanya Allah SWT je yang layak menilai apa yang kita buat.

Teringat pulak satu kisah bile cakap pasal hanya Allah SWT je yang layak menilai apa yang kita buat tu. Ni saya search kat internet.

153- Dari Abu Hurairah r.a. dari Nabi Muhammad (sabdanya): "Bahawa seorang perempuan pelacur telah melihat seekor anjing pada suatu hari yang cukup terik panasnya sedang berpusing-pusing mengelilingi sebuah perigi sambil menjelirkan lidahnya disebabkan dahaganya. Perempuan itu segera mengambil air perigi dengan sarung kakinya (yang diperbuat dan kulit kambing) dan diberi minum kepadanya. Dengan (perbuatan yang baik) itu Allah Taala mengampunkan dosanya."(1)

(Hadith Sahih - Riwayat Muslim)

Ni cerita tentang Pelacur yang bagi makan kat anjing. Kalau nak tau lagi lanjut.. Try la search kat internet. (ke awak da tau eh.. hehe... saya just gtau jela). So apa yang boelh saya kate... just ignore kritikan2 yang nak menjatuhkan kita dan kritikan2 membina tu kita jadikan sebagai panduan.

Hopefully awak akan terus berkarya dan menulis tanpa rasa rendah diri atau takut2, asalkan ia tak bercanggah dengan agama kita cintai iaitu ISLAM. =)

** It takes time to change, but change is needed.- Good luck Nadya!

p/s: Lagi sekali my comment terpanjang... di luar kesedaran... haishh~ maafla nadya... huhu...

as i am ~ NADYA~ said...

to radzi..

im happy coz ur happy reading my entry which made you happy *_* *_*...haha....but i just want to thank you and congratulate you for an awesome event.

And yes, i learned lots of things which if on my own, i wouldnt have..sorry kereta kotor haritu ....srious berusaha nak bangun awal hari tu cuci kreta...tapi apakan daya, seperti biasa, xberjaya bangun awal...haha

as i am ~ NADYA~ said...

Dear Miss indie~

Searching for our true identity is i think one of the hardest challenges that i am facing now.

Sometimes i want to be this, sometimes i want to be that, and in the end we get lost without knowing who we really want to be..

I do try to not think about what other people think of me, i used to care a lot about that, but now, i realise that we cant control other peoples perspective of ourselves...i still get freaked out if someone says something about me, but, hopefully it doesnt bother me that much anymore...

The story is a familiar one,but it is one that i do like to use as a reminder. My mom told me this story once, and she also said, do not give up in doing good, no matter how bad our past was....whats past is past, hopefully we can just learn by our mistakes...

I nearly gave up on changing, but not now, i dont want to give up anymore~~

Anyway, your comments really mean a lot to me, memberi semangat untuk terus menulis, atleast i know someone reads my blog~hehehe

(i think both of our comments can make a new entry...haha~)

Anonymous said...

one thing i can never understand about you is why must you put yourself at such a low level?why be ashamed about what you cant or didnt do?at times you cant be doing everything!chill lil sis...