ashamed no more~

Have a very bad stomach ache today because of you-know-what and also that-you-know what and i had a very late breakfast and a late lunch. So i lulled myself to sleep the whole day to stop the pain until it was 2.30 in the afternoon. Waking up, the pain hasnt gone, but it has lessened, and it still is here~ouch! But, i cant let down my faithful blog today, i promised to write to you didnt i. I have decided that i dont want to let down any promises, and must do as i say i want to do..wish me luck on that~

I cant think well today, so my entry might be full of blabbers and unfortunate thoughts.

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I have a confession to make. I am sometimes ashamed of what i write in my blog =( I mean, i dont know why, but most of my entries seem to be about God, religion and all that. And then, when people see the real me, they would go like, huh, why is she writing on all those things when she herself isnt anything like what she portrays to be. I write on my blog things that i face everyday, mistakes i make, lessons that i learn and all that i feel like writing about. Sometimes i cant help it if i suddenly want to write about religion and all, but it is just what i felt like writing on. And i did feel so ashamed of it~~

But then,i went for the comparative religion seminar on friday and saturday. Hearing what the speaker had to say, the feeling of shame has somewhat disappeared, although not totally, but it has literally gone down the drain. SOmething he said made me feel ashamed that i had felt ashamed in the first place. In a nutshell, the whole event was a real mind opener, and i should go to more things like that to remind me again and again~and again *_* Heres a summary of the things i remembered and that i took note of~

PATUNG, SAYA DAH TAHU AWAK BUKAN TUHAN

Most were pretty familiar with the speakers that day, Brother Shah Kirit and also his little brother who are both converts and has been Muslims for nearly 13 years. They grew up in a Hindu family, praying to the Hindu Gods and had no notion whatsoever of what was to change their lives forever. They gave a brief introduction on how they converted into Islam, the challenges they faced and the little signs God gave that eventually evolved into their lives. As a little boy, Bro Shah knew that the truth was out there, but he just did not know where to find it. He jokingly said that when he was small,he would pray,Tuhan, saya tak tahu awak wujud ke tak, kalau awak wujud, jagalah saya, tapi kalau awak tak wujud, saya xda apa2 nak crita.

While i was hearing his speech, it did wrench my heart at the words that he said. A funny man at times, but beneath all that joke, was a serious message that he wanted to convey. He said, while he was growing up, he was surrounded by a lot of Malay friends, Muslim friends, but not one, told him about the beauty of Islam. Not one really had the courage, or the patience to da`wa to him. Have the Muslims no pity on the people who do not know the truth, do they not care if others went unto hellfire because they died as kafirs when no one actually guided them to the right path. If he had died as a non-believer, he would curse all the people who did not try to help him, and bring them with him to hell. The room fell silent as he poured out these words, the laughter before had faded, and all looked down, a feeling of guilt in our hearts. IT is true what he said, and all of us knew it.

kenapa Islam disorokkon dari masyarakat...

At that point, i looked down at my hands, not wanting to look up because i felt the guiltiest of all. I am a Muslim, but i dont act like one, and i certainly did not take upon me the responsibility of helping others to understand about Islam. That was when i realized, i could change that, and i could do something about this... i would not stop blogging about my religion, even though with what little knowledge i had, i must be proud of what i do, i must go on, i can write,so Nadya Amin Shaharudin...write wisely~~

Nowadays, people are afraid of the very word ISLAM, MOSLEMS, ALLAH, QURAN. The very perceptive of Islam has changed, whether in our hearts, in the way we live, in the way other people see Islam, which is the most misunderstood religion in the world. When Bro Shah first wanted to know about Islam, he was afraid, because people told him that he cant do this, he cant do that, there were so many things he couldnt do that he definitely doubted the very truth of Islam. It was not until later when he met someone, who firstly told him about the beauty of Islam, the stories of the prophets and the very truth and revelations in the Quran that he became to love Islam. The moment that changed him forever was when he first read surah al-ikhlas, one of the shortest verses in the Quran, but with a very powerful meaning. For us moslems, the verse is so powerful that even with 3 recitations, it is equal to reading the whole Quran. Listening to the story of Bro Shah, now i know the reason why.

"He (Abud Darda) reported God's messenger as saying, "Is any of you capable of reciting a third of the Qur'an in a night?" On being asked how they could recite a third of the Qur'an he replied, " 'Say, He is God, One' is equivalent to a third of the Qur'an." Muslim transmitted it, and Bukhari transmitted it from Abu Sa'id."

Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem
Qul Huw-Allahu Ahad
Allah-us-Samad
Lam yalid wl lam yulad
Wa lam yakul lahu kufuwan ahad

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Say: He is Allah, the One!
Allah, the eternally Besought of all!
He begetteth not nor was begotten.
And there is none comparable unto Him.


DA`WA, WIN THE HEAD AND WIN THE HEART

To spread your religion is not an easy task, everyone knows that. But to show the beauty of your religion, is one that must be undertaken. During his speech, he said that whenever someone asks you about your religion, never argue about the truth. Take time to listen, to think, and to answer with proof. I wish i could be more like him, the very fundamentals of Islam at his fingertips, and how long has he been as Muslim...13 years....how long have i been a Muslim~~21 years

During his early years before he finally converted, his parents, now both still Hindu, had at many times threatened to kill themselves. IT made his decision harder, but he steadfastly put his heart and soul on his decision. In the end, his love to God would have the perfect solution. 13 years has passed and his parents had finally accepted his and his brothers decision little by little. It was definitely not easy, and they faced too many challenges by taking that step, but they pushed on and never looked back. What strong people they are, truly one that we must take as an example in our weak lives.

** As a very naive person in my religion, i nonchalantly pushed aside my duty to spread Islam. How little confidence i have about answering questions when people ask me about Islam, now that is something i should be ashamed of. I have decided, now, no more. Outwardly, i may still be like someone who doesnt know much, but inwardly, i will try harder!

** It takes time to change, but change is needed.

** So the next time someone wonders why someone like me wants to write about religion in her blog, i wont be ashamed of it, because in my heart i know, at least i am doing my responsibility, no matter how small it is~~