love me!

to know someone better is to love someone --> the translation from the malay proverb, xkenal maka xcinta...

i was walking along the road to my house when i chanced upon a few people gossiping about someone. i nodded at them, as they huddled together talking about this person who was someone i know. i knew that gossip, but i looked away from them as they oohed and aahed at what the person did. it may be true, it may not be, but i shut their voices from my head as i was reminded of my past....

a few years ago, upon me descending on my first year in indonesia, i faced a whole lot of problems...

it was the middle of my 1st year and i was at my prime time. i felt that everyone knew me, and i was startled if someone did not remember my name, aahh, the good old days...but popularity comes at a cost i say, (although i wasnt that popular, we will just assume for the sake of this post..hehe*_*)and it cost me dearly...

i dont think im that friendly, even if i am, i do try to keep a distance from myself and others that im not close to. but once im close to someone, then, i would reveal my childishness, my sillyness, my uglyness and everything that comes under the label of a nadya amin. so...

some call me hard to approach

some dont even try to approach me and still call me hard to approach

some dont even want to approach me and say im unapproachable

to cut a long story short, i had a row with a few close friends, and we drifted apart, very far apart. at exactly that instant, that same time, people who did not know me well took advantage of that incident and started turning against me. every single thing i did after that, was a trail of wrong doings, everything i said was considered unworthy....bluntly, the queen of popular was now de-throned and down in the dumps.

suddenly, out of nowhere, people who did not know me well started giving me rude glances, which i did not notice at first. but as the weeks went by, more and more people stopped talking to me, some friends who i knew just brushed past me without acknowledging that i was there. i was utterly heartbroken. what did i do to deserve such an attitude from a community that i did not know well yet, since it has only been 6 months at the time...

everywhere i went, people were staring at me. whispers and hushed voices followed my steps as i clutched my books closely at campus. something was seriously wrong, but what!!!!

i was alone

i felt suicidal

i felt abandoned

i could not trust anyone.....

this feeling went on for the whole year. i moved to a different house, met a different group of people and comforted myself with these words -->

the people who are talking about me behind my back,....do not know me well
..... as time pasts, and if its true i did not do anything wrong, Allah will show them who i really am.....

there was one incident that i still remember until now, which a friend told me earlier during my 2nd year. she told me, when she was finding for people to move in to the same house with me, this particular girl, and also a few others told her to stay away from me, that by moving into the same house, she was only going to face loads of problems.

iv been bugging this friend of mine to tell me who, which she says she will not tell me until one day when she thinks im ready to know. but she says, dont worry about who the person is, because now, everyone knows the truth, and people are trusting you again. you dont need to know or care about what people said about you, in your heart, you know God is protecting you.....


i lived by those words for months.....
eventually, everyone forgot about everything....
i got closer to people, even those who did not know me, and whom i suspected have said bad things about me...
now, everyone has accepted me for who i am, Alhamdulillah~~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest friends,

i would just like to say here, that i have been through the toughest of times when everyone was against me, when gossip about me spread like wildfire.

i know how it feels, and theres nothing like watching the community you live in loose their trust in you...

it hurts

it hurts a lot

i do not want other people to go through what i did.

so if you ever want to spread gossip about someone, may it be true or not, please think twice, you are not close to that person, you have not heard the other end of the story....

think...what if the same thing happens to you............

sincerely yours,

nadya amin shaharudin

the curse of the dobis~

sounds like a good horror movie? wrong

does it sound like an urban legend? wrong again

its a problem im facing here, and i know more who have worse experiences than mine!

THE IBU DOBIs of INDONESIA

we dont have a washing machine, im not sure why, but maybe its because it would be a hassle to have to wash, hang and iron ourselves. so, it sounded like salvation when i first heard of the IBU DOBI system, i.e hiring a maid (ibu) specially dedicated to tidy up my dirty laundry. Students studying elsewhere would think we were super rich to have maids just for that, but its pretty cheap i tell ya...

anyway, the story goes that the first time you meet an ibu dobi, you would think she would be PERFECT for the job. Flashing a lovingly-mom style smile, one would melt at seeing this IBU who has to pick up the dirty laundry after you, bring it back to her place, get them washed, hang them fresh and iron until they are crisp. Thats the oldest trick up the sleeve, and i fell for it. My first ibu dobi was a winner, she lives near my place and is the caretaker here. She had this small doe eyes that looked so innocent, you would not dream that she was as cunning as a crow....

The first few weeks went by without any incident, and i was pretty happy with this IBU. I got my clothes on time, and i did not have anything to complain about, except that she demanded we pay her on time every month, but hey, thats just business. As the weeks grew into months, we noticed that everything was not as was promised. She came less and less to send back our clothes and when she eventually did, they smelled foul and were not even dry! owh God, imagine the times i wen to class and someone must have smelt my clothes and commented on bad body odour! (if anyone did, blame it on the DOBI!)

I breathed a sigh of relief one day when she told me some of us had to hire another ibu dobi, because there was just too much on her hands. Me and my friends qucikly found one(that was odd) and hired her. It was the same thing all over again, except this time it was worse! The first weeks were good, and then, i saw pure evil! (seriously!). She would come at 6 in the morning knocking on our doors for money eventhough it was still too early in the month. Sometimes, she would come up with a story like, she had to feed her children, or someone was sick in the family and we would pityfully borrow her money even for the nextmonth. I didnt mind at first, not until i found out that she asked from everyone else the same thing, and sometimes absentmindedly forgot that we had paid in advance. The same trouble was brewing again, we got our clothes late, and some were even a bit dirty than before we sent them!

One day, she knocked on my door, and said `Neng, ibu kan cucinya pake tangan,(which i didnt know), jadinya, baju neng itu kebanyakan...jadi harus bayar lebih,kalau gk, ibu udah gk mau cuci bajunya`....and i was like, ya udah, gk usah aja, nanti sy cariin yg lain..so i went in search of another ibu dobi and my friends suddenly wanted to join me because they were VERY UNSATISFIED with this one. woe behold! the next day the ibu dobi knocked on my room screaming her head of, saying why did i ask my friends to join me(my jaw was opened wide at about this time) and i suddenly got a lecture on how i did not care about people who needed money and jobs. I thought that was bad enough, suddenly out of nowhere, the 1ST IBU DOBI came(i found out later, all ibu dobis seem to know each other) and she gave me a lecture on REZEKI and it was not good to take rezeki from other people. I just stood at the door in utter amazement while my friend F was in my room and sadly gave in to their scoldings, they would not take another ibu dobi like i did...

So, ONTO My 3rd ibu dobi. As usual, she seems great at first, but i did have lots of problems, fortunately, she did try to improve everytime i told her to.

1. my white clothes became yellow, especially my lab coat which when i wear to class looks as if i rolled in mud compared to my fellow colleagues.

2. i sometimes buy clothes for the brand(loe behold one of my bad habits), and SHE WROTE KAMAR NO 9 on every single designer label there was on my clothes...aaarggghhhhh!!

3. she does come late during rainy seasons, and there would be a pile of laundry outside my door. i think if one day the cat kind of rams into it, it could die if all the clothes fell on him.

4. i once got a bunch of socks back, and they smelt of cat urine!

My neighbours told us their story which sounded even worse than ours, and i thought that we had it bad.

1. Their ibu dobi once asked to pay for a WHOLE YEAR, incidentally, telling a tale of how her next child is just starting pre-school and all.

2. They loose a lot of their clothes, and the next time they saw it, it was on some guy cleaning the house, innocently wearing a ZARA tshirt while humming to an indonesian dangdut tune.

3. sometimes, when they get back their clothes and wear them......they would suddenly start scratching and fishy red bumbs suddenly appear out of nowhere

well, Those are among others that i still remember, but it has been a tiring hunt finding for the perfect ibu dobi.

For those who are lucky enough to have a reliable one, i take my hats off at how you were able to. Anyway, i hope someone could tell me a solution to this problem, or maybe recommend me a 5 star IBU DOBI that you know of. It would help a lot @_@...

hope you liked this post, cheers!

scare me to death!!

guess what....

this holiday, im on a horror movie marathon...in search of the scariest movies ever made by mankind...

im watching one now, and its getting kind of boring, so i thought ill give my blog a visit in the meantime....

i used to be scared of any horror movies, eventhough im an avid watcher..but then i got used to watching them with my cousins, and i watched while putting a blanket nearby....

then i watched them when im free with my housemates, and we would all huddle in a corner with our mouths gaped wide open in frequent high-pitched screams...until we kind of got used to it, and most did not scare us....

now....i can watch horror movies all alone...and i am in search of the best horror movie in town...


this hols, i watched loads of horror movies...here are the top 2 movies that i have watched that did scare me....give it a try...

1.quarantine

2.coming soon --thai

and the holidays have started and is 3 days to its end~

Hello fellow readers of my extremely unworthy blog!

i havent been writing as you all may have noticed

my fellow blogger mate cum ex-tutorial mate named ahmad fahmi said that the next time i opened my blog, dah banyak habuk berkumpul....ahaa

well, ill try my best to update this blog, but i have been busy with exams and all...but the most important thing, was, i did not have enough money to pay my horridly expensive internet fees!

if you have been following my blog, you would have read about the posts before this about how im trying to deal with my economy crisis...i dont think that i have improved much from the first i started aspiring to save money...

yesterday, i went out with a couple of friends....it was the first time i went out with less than 150, 000 rupiah = rm60 in my pocket...in bandung, eventhough its indonesia, + because im a girl, that is NOT ENOUGH...as i found out too late...

it was supposed to be a shopping + bowling day out, but unfortunately i had to cut down the big S! i did not even shop anything !! OMG!and yet, the 150k disappeared down the drain without any further notice...

nadya only spent on :

1. car rent = 27k
2. lunch = 30k
3. bowling = 23k
4. dinner = 40k

i found out what it felt like to be really poor for once, and it felt extremely disheartening. there was this sad part, when all my friends went to breadtalk to buy bread, i looked inside my wallet and i found out, i did not even have enough money to buy bread...at that time, i felt tears crowding my eyes, owh god!

it was around 9 pm, and it was chilly outside...but rather than see people buy things i couldnt, i stayed outside of the shopping mall and huddled in a corner by the stairs...that was the worst feeling ever! now i know what its like to go out with people when you cant afford things everyone else can...i felt bad for all the times when i may have smirked at people who did not have even a small amount of money to buy something simple.....God has his special ways of opening our eyes, i guess it was just his way of opening mine....

and then, at 10 pm sharp, when everyone else was tired, i slowly dialled +6012 886 1352.....

`hello, hello`

`hello mommy..i miss you~`

`hello baby, how are you, are you ok`

`mommy, emm...emmm...i need some financial help`

`laa...kenapa xcakap awal2, duit indonesia kan murah je`




LAAAAA.......................~~

ketika musim exam melanda

u know im having my exams IF....

1. my room is messy, it means im studying--> it was messy a few minutes ago

2. i write an entry in my blog at 1 am pacific time --> when i should be studying

3. the best thing to eat is suddenly biskut marie cicah KOPI

4. i keep checking my facebook even though i know nothing changed --> coz i feel bored

5. the tv has not been switched on for more than 24 hours

6. i spontaneously combust at certain times per day out of jitteryness --> coz less den 24 hours theres an exam

7. i have credit, when i hadnt topped up for more than a week --> to call mom tomorrow morning

8. small notes appear on the table, big notes posted on the wall --> none yet posted in brain

9. i eat a lot --> i mean A LOT!!

10. i keep opening the fridge, eventhough i know nothings in it --> to let mr stomach see that i REALLY dont have anything to feed him

11. my lights are open the whole night --> even hours after my eyes are closed

lupa nak tambah

kawan baik saya pernah cakap kat saya

fikir dulu sebelum cakap atau buat apa-apa

~sekian terima kasih

sabar nadya

=)

maafkan hambaMu ini~

#3. do not unto others what others unto you

I was going to declare war on something...when I came across the website that Tun Dr Mahathir initated. it is called the KUALA LUMPUR FOUNDATION TO CRIMINALISE WAR.

I had posted an entry before this, showing how emo i had gotten at the end of this week.

A few minutes after some loud ear-blasting music, some deep breathes and soothing words, i was up and smiling again.

But for some people, they never learn how to do this, (reproachfully to myself) instead, they keep what we call in Malay as dendam which i think is such childish nonsense.

But nonsense or no nonsense, these are the things that in the early phase, ignites wars. first between people that we know, then between larger communities, in the end, a lot of people will be involved in it and get hurt.

Anyway, i checked myself in time...(hopefully).. sometimes, we are so busy finding the fault of others that we do not notice that we are doing exactly the same thing.

That is why i would prefer not to delete the entry before this, as a reminder to me of what happens when i do not control my emotions.

I was proud of the fact that whenever something disturbing happens, i do not put an intentional entry or ym status just so that some other person would most probably get hurt. I know alot of people who do that. its like a mini ym-war, one person writes another status in hopes that the person intended reads it and is hurt. Like a war, suddenly the whole world knows something is brewing, instead of it being a private problem.

well, shamefully and regrettably after ugh-ing people who do that, i just did. doesnt that ever happen to you, just when you start mengumpating about how some person or other acts negatively, you end up doing the exact same thing which is, i say pretty stupefyieng.

Anyway, todays lesson is DO NOT UNTO OTHERS WHAT OTHERS UNTO YOU. sometimes, the feeling of getting back at someone is all we want to do. but why should we stoop so low like others when we know we are better than that. Theres this movie i once saw, where someone had sweet revenge at another person, in the end, a friend asked that person, REVENGE WAS SWEET AND IT PROBABLY WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, BUT WHY DOES IT FEEL SO WRONG....

think about that...

I would like to share another thing in which i think i have changed in these years i lived in Indonesia. I was never one of those who liked to merajuk, but the other day, when i was on holiday with my family, i suddenly was overcome by this merajukness when my family started making fun of me because i was short. I walked straight into my room, slammed the door and isolated myself from everyone.

TOTT...NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO

Everyone was surprised, where was the girl they knew who never shed a tear and never cared what other people say. Well, sadly, i had evolved. I was surprised myself too, because i had never shown such emotions in front of my family. This comes to show what my sister had said when i was small was true, 60% of what you do now is what you get from others. hrmm....

As all my lessons in life, i would like to quote from the only reliable source of life guidance. I would like to say sorry to Allah for awhile (wait, give me 5 seconds)...ok...for i have sinned.. oh dear.. MAy we learn by our mistakes, and may Allah be forever patient with us whenever we do wrong~

• A good action and a bad action are not the same. Repel the bad with something better and, if there is enmity between you and someone else, he will be like a bosom friend. (Qur`an 41:34)

• The repayment of a bad action is one equivalent to it. But if someone pardons and puts things right, his reward is with God. Certainly He does not love wrongdoers. (Qur`an, 42:40)

• those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people ,God loves the good-doers (Qur`an, 3:134)

• You will never cease to come upon some act of treachery on their part, except for a few of them. Yet pardon them, and overlook. God loves good-doers. (Qur`an, 5:13)

NO MORE MR NICE GUY!!!

ive never written an emo entry

here it is!i hope its emo enough!

im tired of being nice!

im tired of always being blamed for something which someone else does!

if you thought you have seen the ugly side of me, you are WRONG!

be prepared...YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING YET!

dont miss a beat

the internet was invented for one purpose = so that human kind have a private life no more

this week = i am opening my doors

my freezing mojo n jojo

this is my first day when i bought MOJO B and JOJO G

i got these furry babies right before a FUTSAL TOURNAMENT..muahaha

i wanted to buy a cat...but i loved nadiahz cat too much to have another enter his life



This is JOJO...hes a guy..hes not gay like OMER (nadiahz cat)

hes very FAT and eats ALOT...he SLEEPS in the FOOD CONTAINER

hes very RESPONSIBLE...he gives MOJO a BATH every MORNING before i go to CLASS, he also BITES MY FINGER whenever i poke through the CAGE.




heres MOJO. shes a GIRL. shes SEXY and HOT just LIKE ME...muahahahha

MOJO never BITES, she SNIFFS before biting.

she LOVES KOACHI(im not sure how to spell..aha) and ends up THROWING the OTHER FOOD



Oh yeahh, i gave them FRENCH FRIES the other day when i came back from MCD

i also gave them BROWNIES from KARTIKA SARI once

no wonder they are FAT(like moi)
Everyday i CLEAN their CAGE and WIPE them with DETTOL (muahahaha)


I hang them at the window so they dont mess up the room (kejam ke..huhu)

but i put an extra protective cover during cold days (i.e old clothes and the curtain and a few pieces of tissue)

everyone says they will freeze to death....

now you can listen to what i am listening to

• fuhh---after hours of struggling, i finally know how to upload my own tunes

• it could be a dumb blonde moment for me, but im not ashamed to admit it

• basically, im proud that i learnt it by myself without help from anyone (although it was the simplest thing on earth)..ahaha

• now, everyone can listen to the things im listening to..heres my first try, so i just uploaded some songs that i like from jason mraz, but im sure most of you all have it..ahaha...enjoy!
  

• lucky- jason mraz ft colbie caillat

• a beautiful mess - jason mraz

• you and i both - jason mraz

• wordplay - jason mraz

• bella luna - jason mraz

• ill do anything - jason mraz

• im yours - jason mraz

• i melt with you - jason mraz

be ok -ingrid michaelson

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

CHORUS:
Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

CHORUS

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

little girl, be careful what you wish for

when you are down, hold your head up high,
do not let the world know, theres a burden on you shoulder,
when your tears are streaming down before a goodbye,
wipe it off as your feeling good, you feel fine, you are stronger,
little girl be careful what you wish for....

theres nothing in this world that can make you feel small,
because when you love yourself, you have it all,
you know that you have the will to survive, one day it will be ok,
breathe in, the sun will shine back on you one fine day,
little girl, be careful what you wish for....

people might think you are unstable, very emotional,
who cares what people say, they are unaccountable,
your life, is the path that you choose to live and go through,
your fate, is the tie that binds whatever you will do,
little girl, be careful what you wish for....


inside, you may feel broken and torn, life is crushing everyday
from the outside, little girl, just look up, and smile away
its not the end of the world, theres always a third door,
so, little girl, be careful what you wish for....

the song of Maghrib~

The Adzhan is being sung from the village nearby,
The beauty of every word precisely spoken, stood by,
Here I am listening to my calling during Maghrib as the sky dawn,
I ponder, i wonder and as a loner i stiffle a yawn....

The purple blue landscape of the steady clouds way up high,
Mark the time for every child to go home, heaving with a sigh,
Here I am as Maghrib is here again on this day,
I ponder, I wonder, and as a loner I look away....

The raindrops pitter-patter on the sturdy roof of my house,
The tv is blasting downstairs, the cat, is finding for a mouse,
Here I am regaining strength to pray another Maghrib again,
I ponder, I wonder, and as a loner i crouch in a corner, in vain....

Then I close my eyes for a second or two,
And my heart tells me, the most right thing to do,
I smile as angels pull me from my nest for my daily prayer,not a chore
I ponder, I wonder, and i know.....I am a loner no more........

~of childhood fantasies~

Dearest ambitious young dreams,

I did something today

I pestered this man from the Malaysian book of records to put my name in it as the youngest poet to publish a book

My hopes and dreams were dashed by this puny 4-year old boy.

------

Well, i wasnt really serious about getting a place in the book of records anyway (i say to myself shamelessly). so i wrote a very curt and unserious email to anyone who kindly had a heart to listen to the lamentations of a 21 year old (god, now i feel old)

me =

To the person in charge,
>
> I had published a poetry book at the age of 13, comprising of poems
> since i was 4.I am now 21 years of age. I would like to ask is there
> any chance that i could get an entry in the malaysian book of records.
>
> Thank you


mr ricky yap =

Dear Cik Nadya,

Greetings from Malaysia Book of Records and thank you for your email.

In response to your email, please note that there is an existing record
for 'Youngest Author', whose age is 4-and-a-half-years old when he had
his first book published. As such, we are sorry to inform you that we
cannot consider your attempt for consideration of listing into the
publication.

However, we appreciate the effort and we wish you all the best success in
your future endeavours.

Thank you for your interest in the Malaysia Book of Records.

I was pleasantly surprised today as i had been waiting for my moment of fame...my heart was all giddy as i opened the email, in my head i was already imagining a whole street of fans waiting to get my autograph.

BUT As the Malay proverb goes, MALANG TIDAK BERBAU, my dreams were horridly dashed by this 4 year old boy. I was heartbroken, i blamed the mother of the boy to have written for him..(which i know is not true), WIthout skipping a beat, i persistently pursued my deepest ambition of landing a name in the Malaysian book of records as shamelessly as any shameless me would be!ahaa!

me=

> To Mr Ricky Yap,
>
> Thank you for the letter. I am aware of that record but if im not
> mistaken is it for short stories?will it be possible for one
> specifically in the field of poetry?sorry for any inconvenience. thank
> you for your help

I was greeted again by a very patient mr ricky yap who soothingly told me the following


mr ricky yap =

Dear Cik Nadya,

Greetings from Malaysia Book of Records and thank you for your email.

In response to your inquiry, please note that the existing record of
"Youngest Author" of 4-and-a-half years old was for writing short stories
and poems in one publication. As such, we are sorry we cannot accommodate
your request for another record related to poems.

Anyhow, don't let this be a deterrent from you in seeking future record
attempts. Please do let us know what you have in mind.

We wish you all the best success in your future endeavours.

Thank you for your interest in the Malaysia Book of Records.

Well,thank you mr ricky yap and the malaysian book of records for being very considerate of my awful letters. THey WERE extremely ridiculous ones especially from the terms of a writer but thankfully this man had a kind enough soul to have given me the opportunity to write to him twice. =)

I sigh as i read my ambition die with the last letter. DId you ever feel the same way? Were your ambitions of achieving things at a young age ever reached?

I loved being a child, you can do anything just a bit more than some other pesky children and you would receive oohs and aaahs from all adults in a jiffy. It was easier way back then wasnt it. I was once called a genius of some sorts for my young poetry skills, and obviously i loved the attention as a kid. But lets say i write now, will my oohs and aahs still be ooh ahh or would it just be oh ah..sigh, no wonder i was warned about the difficulties of being a grown up.

ROCK STAR!~~

Looking back,i had more ambitions and dreams that i have never yet realized even until now. As i age every year, i still have not made a mark in the world, what more in my own country. I had always wanted to sing in a band since i was a kid(but i have the most awful voice), if you read my diary when i was small, there were a few song i had written already. I knew the tune, it was very `90s mind you. But, then turned 14, and then....i found out that my voice sucks.. that i croaked instead of singing and thus, i stopped my dream of being a superstar

CHESS PLAYER~~

There was this one time when i was 9, i was first introduced to the genius game of chess. ....and i LOVED It.. i had no genius mathematical skills, and i wasnt one of those whizz kids who could guess the next 25 steps before you move, i was just someone who accidentally, amazingly could play chess really well. I felt it in my blood, i told my mom, when i grow up, i want to be a chess player like Gary KAsparov (the number one world champion chess player at that time). I played in chess games more and more often, still not mastering the mathematical skills but miraculously got through most championships rated top 10. and then....I GREW UP... when i grew up and had more opponents to deal with, i shied of playing. I felt so insignificant and insecure as there were more players far better than me. And so, i left the game, retired extremely young and until now has still not mastered the mathematical equations of a chess player.

ATHLETE~~

My Indian friend laughed at me when i was 10 years old during a pj class, she said, oh my god, you have never run in your life? she giggled at my very unathletic persona at that time. SHe had long legs, an extremely skinny body and could run really fast, on the list for future school athletes. I on the other hand had never tried running ever! Suddenly the whistle blew, in my track suit (sometimes pronounced trackshuut by malay kids) and with my heart churning because i knew i was going to loose bad, i ran...and i ran....and i ran....and i ran.......until the finishing line...i opened my eyes, and saw everyone was gaping at me, I WON THE RACE!!!woo hoo!! served you right!(i haughtily nodded at my indian friend who came in second). Since then, i was streamed into the athletic team, doing lots of sprints, long distance running, balapan and all those things. Mom said, it was not i who had an athlete in me, but it was my spirit of not wanting to loose. It has always been very important to me to WIN WIN WIN that shaped me into a sudden athlete.......and then....I GREW FAT..I was transferred from my then athlete-shaped school-me of Convent Kajang to Sarawak because my parents moved. I was forewarned by my mother to focus on only one athletic event such only sprinting or only long distance. I told mom, dont worry la mama, i can do both..hummphh....by the time i was form 3 in that school, and as i reached my womanhood era, i was greeted with cholesterol, carbohydrate and lipid. They loved me so much that they stayed in my body for years. Hence, another dream was dashed by adulthood and age.

Well well well, if it isnt 21 year old Nadya already. How I have grown (or stopped growing, mind you). At the age of 21, the only proud thing i could tell you i did was i had published a book which incidentally failed to be in the Malaysian book of records as the youngest poetry book published. I had more dreams, which i never reached, like helping out in poor countries, be someone who was published in a national magazine, climb mount everest or was simplyknown to my country in some way.

so now,21 years have passed and i missed my chance to earn any title as `THE YOUNGEST TO....`..but i can tell you this, i will not waste another 21 years sitting on my big bottom not doing anything. I will become someone one day, insyaAllah in a good way.Im going to make myself and my family proud...... just hopefully my title would not be `THE OLDEST TO...`

=) hope you had a blast reading this...and let us all think on our DREAMS and may they turn into a REALITY...cheers!!

slumdog millionaire

another favourite movie for the year 2009. who would have thought a boy from the slums could even enter who wants to be a millionaire, much more win it.

but thats what happened. a muslim-indian boy from the streets of Mumbai won the hearts of 20 million people in indian when he did the impossible. even doctors, lawyers and all the smart alecs could not win, but HE DID.

it is a very sad story of how this boy used all the events in his life to answer the questions given. when the time came for him to win the 20 million rupees, the police took him in and tortured him because no one believed that this poor boy could know all the answers to those questions.

watch this heart-peeling movie and love every single moment of it as i did......

the (1st) 10 commandments

#2. LIVE SIMPLY so that others can SIMPLY LIVE

As the last flight of the day to Bandung was about to start, Mom and Dad gave me their last goodbyes accompanied by their usual advices. Dad suddenly gave me an extra hug and said to me at last, LIVE SIMPLY SO THAT OTHERS CAN SIMPLY LIVE. I gave a snort at Dad and laughed it of. But in my heart, i knew what he meant and the reason why he said it.

Dad was referring to my spending habit which had gotten worse in the years i was studying in Indonesia. I would have thought that by studying in this country, i would most probably save more. How totally wrong was I, I remembered during my days in a college in Shah Alam, the monthly allowance of rm260 was more than enough and mom did not have to give much as money was aplenty. The funny thing is, in this small `village` known as JAtinangor, and after only a few excursions to Bandung, my monthly scholarship allowance of rm 800 is still not enough to cover my expenses here!! Mom has been pestering me on why i am spending too much, even i find it weird. even with the scholarship money, money mom banks in and a credit card, i still overspend.


THE YEARS BEFORE....

What happened to the old me.. i used to not care about what i wore, i only had one shoe, and my amount of clothes were fit for only a week or two. The reason was that i was brought up to learn the hardships of life, although momsie and dad spoilt us, we were never spoilt. Dad brings us to his farm and we helped him out, i did not mind getting dirty, and at home, we dont have a Bibi so all of us have to do our own chores. I loved it. I dont envy people who have maids at home, because for me, helping out my mom and dad(eventhough i complained and grumbled) was one of the things that made us closer. I even earned my own money to buy expensive things and never once asked mom and dad for anything.

NOW....

Have i grown into a materialistic plastic doll...THe last holiday, mom was asking how many pairs of shoes i had. Without blinking and eye, i said `owh, not much, just one or two`..behind me, i crossed my fingers and hope mom would forgive me for this lie and the other lies i had to make up since iv become this MATERIALISTIC THING. THe truth is, mom had never really come and look at my closet (i.e a closet full of shoes, a closet full of clothes and bags). Sigh...These things come with a price though. Since i began my materialistic escapade, i had to scavenge for money from other sources. Owh how ashamed i feel for admitting this, but as the truth goes, i had to resort to borrow money from close friends. Where i was once the place for everyone to borrow money, i was now living the life of a money-borrower.

I did try to cut down on a lot of expenses, but every month, the same thing happens again. (nak kata duit habis kat minyak, harga minyak baru turun..huhu). Sometimes, im not a victim of fashion, instead, i INVEST (i use this word so that it doesnt sound that bad) on gadgets like a new phone or the latest in sound system etc. Sometimes, i use the money to buy things that i dont really need like a guitar which hast been strummed in AGES!!


WHAT DAD MEANT....

Dad has always been the most simple man on earth. He does not like to spend money on things he does not need. If there was a sale of RM5 per pants, than he would be the first to buy 6 or 7 pairs eventhough they were all the same colour. But if he was to buy some expensive thing like a 100 dollar pant just for the brand, dont even think about it. I once dished dad because he kept wearing this green coloured shirt, and mom told him what i said... the next dat, dad took me aside and said to me `if daddy wears armani and versace all day, then my kids wont be able to wear gucci and guess` (it was something like that, i kinda improvised..haha).. Anyway, what dad said hit me in the heart. Dad sacrificed his luxury through his motto of living simply so that others can simply live. He lead a simple life, but his money went to his children, went to charity and also most importantly was used for the betterment of other people.

hey,try out this quiz and see if you are a big spander..oppz spender...

Answer the Following Five Questions to Find out Whether You Are Addicted to Spending:

1. Do you ever go shopping and leave the mall carrying nothing or only one item?

a. Almost never

b. Rarely

c. Sometimes

d. All the time. I know exactly what I plan to buy before I walk in.

2. When you shop with friends, do you feel the need to buy more?

a. Yes, I have more fun when I spend in groups.

b. Sometimes, if my friend convinces me to buy something.

c. Rarely, unless I see something on sale.

d. Never. I know what I am looking for and never veer from my plan.

3. Do you spend money you don’t have at the moment?

a. Yes, all the time. I figure by the time my credit card bill comes, I’ll be able to pay it somehow.

b. Sometimes if I really need something. I figure I’ll borrow from friends or family if I have to.

c. Rarely unless it is a true emergency, meaning I can’t pay rent.

d. Never. I have a budget I stick with and always have six months salary saved for emergencies.

4. Do you make only the minimum payment on your credit card?

a. Always

b. Sometimes

c. Rarely

d. Never

5. Do you research an expensive purchase (over $100) or do you buy the first thing you see?

a. If something catches my eye, I buy it.

b. I might glance at a review before I go to the store, but that’s it.

c. I research prices before I leave, but if something strikes me, I buy it without looking back.

d. I research extensively comparing prices, clearances, online and physical stores as well as coupons and rebates before I set foot in a store. Then I thoroughly examine the merchandise and read all the fine print before I buy.

If you answered with the letter "d" on every answer, congratulations! You are a savvy consumer, you know how to spend wisely and make every penny count.

If you answered "a" on every question, you need help! Find a professional to help you work out a budget and learn how to stick with it. You need to address your spending problem before it gets completely out of control.

If you answered "b" or "c" on four out of five questions, you may not be in too much trouble yet, but you should buckle down and start watching every penny. When you start tracking your expenses, you’ll begin to realize how much money you waste without even knowing it.

____________________________________________________________________


Well, now im really trying to buckle up and find a way to solve my spending habit. Here are a few things im doing now to stop myself from declaring bancruptcy.

what IM DOING TO SOLVE MY PROBLEM. (AT THE MOMENT) (HOPEFULLY IT`LL LAST)

1. nowadays, im bringing my own lunch to class, hopefully i dont spend too much money on food that is both expensive and totally not nutritious.
2. i have a personal accountant (nama dirahsiakan atas sebab2 tertentu.huhu). I put aside all that i need to use on basic things like payments for internet, laundry and the likes.
3. i dont go out when i know other people are going to shop
4. trying to stop shopping
5. not buying anymore expensive gadgets
6. stop eating out too much
7. try to keep track of what i spend (but its hard, never works out, no matter how many times i record it)
8. finally, im proud to say that at this moment, i do not have any debts at all because iv paid it all of...hopefully my stable economy will last long!!wuhuu!!

australia

i vote the movie AUSTRALIA as the best epic movie of the year. the movie last for 2 hours 40 minutes, along time, as long as the curious case of benjamin button. At first i thougt it was another old love story type of mive, but i was so wrong. It was funny from the beginning and as the movie evolved, there was a mixture of sadness and happiness which was thoroughly depicted by the actors (nicole kidman, hugh jackman and especially this little aborigine boy).

The story goes about a tail of an aboriginese family living amongst the white people who are trying to save a land they own in Australia. Follow the hardships, tears and joy as they embark on a journey of discovery