I was trying to figure out what to do with sooca just around the corner, when i decided to rest my brain for a few seconds, which as usual would turn into minutes or hours. My hands lingered beneath the shelf of my study table until i found the book that i wanted, a recipe book.aha! no, my dears, im not a talented cook, and no, i still havent found the best joys of cooking, so i have to look at recipe books. This certain recipe book was one that mom gave me during my second year, when i started cooking malaysian food for my housemates as we have this schedule on who cooks on what days. TImely enough, it is my turn to cook for today and i was flipping through the pages when an old newspaper clipping suddenly dropped to the floor.
What is this, is it one of those old papers that i keep forgetting to throw away. Opening it, i read the big bold letters spelling out..FEAR NOT THE BIG, BAD WORLD..by dina zaman. Owh, now i remember, my mother had placed this article in the recipe book just before the flight, she said, read it, and maybe it will enlighten you to search for greener pastures. well, she didnt exactly say that, but that abound sums her words up anyway.
iv been putting off the time to read the article, that i totally forgot it existed. but today, i guess ill share some excerpts from the article and why my mom insisted on me reading it. ps i linked the article and you should really read it before you proceed to read my entry, or not you would not understand my constant ramblings...please click here for anyone who would love to read it~
No wonder mom asked me to read this article. I guess she saw how narrow minded i have become and she placed this article in hopes that i would change for the better. IT is terrifyingly true what the writer had wrote, and i really wish i did not have to say this, but this is what i have become. Im always in the same circle of friends, that my mind has not smelt the fragrance of other thoughts, other opinions and other ways of living.
IT sometimes feels cooped up to live in a world where you see and talk with the same people everyday. Even though it does feel nice to have a clique or a certain group of friends most times, thats not a good enough excuse not to mingle around. If i had the chance, i would definitely love to mingle around with some indonesian friends, but at every chance i get, i probably would ruin any friendship that was about to blossom.
Firstly, i stutter in my terrible indonesian language, which after 3 years here has not improved the least, and then i do tend to jingle the wrong words, so its either that i might die out of embarrasment, or they would die out of fits of laughter (which they try to hide by the way). I really admire some of my malaysian friends who had succeeded in breaking the barrier between two adverse countries. it must feel so good to get a change of air sometimes, and i always wish i was one of those who could. sometimes i would ask, whats wrong with me, why cant i be more like that, but until now i have not found the answer, and i definitely have not found the solution yet.
Mother always said to me, IF EVERYONE IS THINKING THE SAME THING, THEN NO ONE IS THINKING AT ALL.
Sometimes i do like to talk to people outside the circle of friends that i usually hang around with.
Sometimes, i just like to walk alone and have some time for myself to think.
Sometimes, when i think alone, i tend to smile to myself...and i guess people would think i was a lunatic huh~
I would like to follow the writers and moms advice, its high time to change for nadya amin shaharudin, dont you think! by the way, i want to share with you something, why do i like to blog when i know no one actually reads my blog..haha....its the fact that blogging helps me talk to myself (in a healthy way, mind you), and it helps me rethink of the person that i am, and the person that i will be in the future. I really support everyone who blogs and i must say, i would never restrict what they want to express on their blogs. Bloggers are people with an open heart, bloggers are people who always talk to themselves frequently and smile without noticing it, and bloggers are, just, you and me~
**Its time for me to open my eyes and stop closing myself from the world, nadya is going abroad in mind, soul and in her way of life. DEfinitely!
**Its time that i should stop being afraid of anything, confidence goes a long way, but i must remember over-confidence will bring me down though~
**Its time for me to become someone in this world, not another face in the crowd
ps: its also time for me to cook, but it wouldnt sound cool if i put it just now..lo...anyway, sorry for the really unfeasible entry, please blame it on the fact that my brain must not have any literature at the moment and must be filled with mad sciene..
ps2: hey, i just found out mad-science= medicine ...they do sound nearly the same, haha...im babbling arent i...
over and out