cant help falling in love with you......~

A few days ago, me and a couple of friends went for lunch at Ayam Bakar Laos, right after exams. I ordered my favourite mixture of Ayam goreng bumbu rojak and kuah kalasan and es teh manis to match. The moment my lunch arrived, i buried my head right into it as i was extremely hungry (as usual).

It was one of those happy days, where every single conversation turned out to be really funny. The food tasted extremely good that day, i commented ,in between fits of giggles from the jokes my friends cracked.

assalamualaikum ~~~
`pesona jilbabmu,jilbabmu, pulang dari kantor, masih berjilbab`,
`pesona jilbabmu,jilbabmu`

Suddenly, a she-man (if you know what i mean) came and started singing to this tune, as we call, mengamen(**pengamen = indonesian street singer who goes around singing in return for some donations). He\she was wearing a jilbab(head scarf) and was singing this song, in hopes that someone would give him\her change. EVeryone in the shop was trying not to burst into fits of laughter at the dangdut tune, very weird i must say, for a she-man to be singing this song. The owner of the shop started mimicking and laughing at the she-man, but he-she went on singing. Out of pity, my friend gave her some change, and with exuberance, she thanked all of us and prayed that we would be pretty women always and always. Thank you2!!..

When she was gone, everyone started laughing and singing to the tune.. It was kind of funny though..really!

A few seconds after the she-man left, a guitar tune filled the air, owh no, another pengamen, i groaned...argh..cant we eat in peace~!!!



Wise men say
only fools rush in

but I can't help
falling in love with you.

Shall I stay
would it be a sin

if I can't help
falling in love with you.

The only time i heard an indonesian street-singer hum an english tune was ages ago, this was most probably my second time! i turned quickly to take a closer look at him, eyeing him from top to bottom. It was an old man this time, his creased fingers gently strummed the guitar he had strapped against his soiled checkered shirt, with very dusty glasses, he gave and apologetic smile....his face a dark hue against the hot sunny day.

The way he walked...
The way he sang...
The way his sad eyes looked at me, it gave a shiver down my spine...
This wasnt an ordinary pengamen, this was a man, with a story...


I clapped my hands in delight as he finished the last line to the song, he wasnt one of those who came in for money, he sang the full song, albeit some wrong lyrics here and there, and then came to take the change.

WIth downcast eyes, he bowed and gave another apologetic smile, thanking us, his audience for the day. IT was one of those heart wrenching moments....where all laughter cease, as all of us sat there, in deep thought, watching this strange man....

who he was..
who he could have been..
who he is now...

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Living in indonesia for nearly 3 years now, has taught me a lot of lessons in life. When we came here during our first year in medical school, nothing could have prepared us to what we were to see. There were so many people living of the streets, wearing tattered clothes and waiting for luck to smile upon them, when a passer-by would throw coins or dollar bills. They would wait by the side of the road, some poorer than others, some were handicapped with no arms and legs, carried by another beggar.

If you have not been here, maybe you cant imagine what its like. But those who do, know what i mean. When i first came here, i wanted to give money to every single beggar that i saw. Every man, woman and child made my heart cry and want to give as much as possible. If me and my friends did not have any small change for the child-beggars, we would go and buy food to give them and so on.

One day, a senior told me, lets see how long you last with these acts of kindness, im sure you would not.. one day you would become like what all of us here have become...hati keras~ .some of them dont need the money, he said, some of them are too poor they dont have anything to eat...some of them are sincere beggars, some of them are filthy thieves...and theres millions of them ....and you cant do anything about it.
i hated him for what he said that day, and i refused to believe that i would become a person who could shut my eye on the poverty in this country...

2 years later~

HAti sudah keras...What i refused to believe has come true. years of watching too many poor people around here has made my soft sides disappear. Im sure im not the only who has become so, and most of us have closed our hearts, after feeling helpless to help the people living of the streets. REmember the girl, (me) who used to give money to every beggar, now i just give to those who really look like they need it. It has become somewhat a bad habit, where i forgetfully ignore the beggars, especially those who pitifully stand at my car window during the red lights.

Its not something im proud of...
But i guess i just adapted to life here, and have become too accustomed watching them that my empathy has faded...

A friend once told me, dikala kita gembira dan gelak ketawa, pada waktu itu, pasti ada yang sedang berduka dan menangis ... I find that very true, and i will remember what my friend said to me until the day i die~

Im not sure whats the point of this entry...
But i guess its just as a reminder, that other people out there need our help...
Like me, i tend to forget, tend to take things for granted...
But what if one day, i become like the man singing the song cant help falling in love with you...
He could have been a rich man, brought down to his knees during the era of global economical downturn...
Anytime, anywhere, we never know what might happen to us....

(sorry, im so sleepy, cant think...brain dead)(excuse the lame entry please, as i will write a better one...some day..that is..huhu)

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THis afternoon, coming back from gym, we walked back home uner the dusky sky..An old man was walking in front of me, somehow he looked familiar from the back. On his right was a small child, still in his school uniform ,on his left, was a guitar strapped to a soiled checkered shirt.

One hand was holding the means of getting money day in and day out, a song for a rupiah, the only source of income for him.

The other hand was holding his son, and with him was a hope that one day this boy could bring them out of their poverty..

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I couldnt look them in the eye, they were too sad....
But if you do see them, or the man one day while you are in jatinangor, please do give something to them.....
Who knows, we might be able to change their life one day...
Lets hope for a miracle~


Like a river flows
surely to the sea
darling so it goes
some things are meant to be.

Take my hand
take my whole life too

for I can't help falling
in love with you.

For I can't help falling
in love with you.........