selagi hayat dikandung badan

16. Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia
dan mengetahui apa yang dibisikkan oleh hatinya,
dan Kami lebih dekat kepadanya daripada urat lehernya

No one knows how it feels like to die, no one knows how it feels to face death in the face and when you look up, you know you cant turn back. I always have this feeling when i go to events where people laugh, or cry, or sing, or just have fun, theres this deep cringe in my heart. I keep thinking the same thing again, that one day, none of this would be here anymore, one day all of us would die and all the laughter and tears are no more. I write this post from something that jolted me back to reality, the death of someone a friend really cared for, and also from what i am experiencing now.

Here are a few verses from surah Qaaf, 16-26. It tells the tale of us human beings who were brought to earth to serve only One. The devil looked down upon us, he laughed at us and mocked us as Adam and Eve first arrived on land. Allah banished him from the realms of the seven skies, and thus the jiins and the demons flew down to join the human race as invincible creatures bent on destroying each and every pure soul there is.

17. (yaitu) ketika dua malaikat mencatat amal perbuatannya,
satu duduk di sebelah kanan dan yang lain duduk di sebelah kiri.

18. Tiada satu ucapan pun yang diucapkannya melainkan
ada di dekatnya malaikat pengawas yang selalu hadir

Yes, we are a very forgetful species. One day, we can pour tears of sadness thinking about death, and the next, we just...forget~ Someone did something to me today, i felt it was an awful thing to do. I felt like i could wring the persons neck and tell the person to grow up!Get a life!Go to hell! All the curses started pouring out of my mouth before i can stop it. The angels surrounding me, shook their heads, one by one, all the filthy words coming out of my mouth were written down. I felt the angels speaking through my heart saying, you are a muslim, you are an ummah, stop!stop!

The devils danced in joy and amazement at how easy it was to lead me to do something wrong, i cant take back the words that i said, i cant cleanse my heart of the evil thoughts i had, and thus another day has gone with more evil done than good. Imagine, how little things like that can have a very big consequence. An act like that, could have cost me a scorching drop from Gods hellfire. What other acts have i done, which im not even aware of, or i consider as a small sin, that the angels have written, God has seen, and the devils had clapped their hands in delight.


19. Dan datanglah sakaratul maut dengan sebenar-benarnya.
Itulah yang kamu selalu lari darinya

20. Dan ditiuplah sangkakala. Itulah hari terlaksananya ancaman.

21. Dan datanglah tiap-tiap diri,
bersama dengan dia malaikat pengiring dan malaikat penyaksi

DEATH..the word itself brings visible fear in the bravest of men. I am afraid of dying, i hate tight spaces as those remind me of coffins. From a book that i had read and commented upon in an entry before, it said that the pain of death itself is unlike any pain the world can bring upon us. Feel as one by one, our veins are disattached from the skin, feeling the stop of blood as the the last breath is taken away...thats how death is.

And when all mankind is raised from the dead, awaiting judgement day, how our legs would break at the thought of seeing the All-mighty. Theres no more earth, theres no more acting on a stage fit for kings, theres nothing left and nothing to turn back to. How a drop of fire from hell can destroy billions of us in seconds.

How our minds will race back to all the things we had done, all the things we did not do, and we know at that time, its all too late. It was never too late for anything way back on earth, but once the angel of death blows his horn, the universe is at a standstill, those who have not used their time well, and reached the finish line before having time to repent will cower in fear. While those who followed the right way will have smiles on their faces.

22. Sesungguhnya kamu berada dalam keadaan lalai dari (hal) ini,
maka Kami singkapkan darimu tutupan (yang menutupi) matamu,
maka penglihatanmu pada hari itu amat tajam.

23. Dan yang menyertai dia berkata,
"Inilah (catatan amalnya) yang tersedia pada sisiku."

24. Allah berfirman, "Lemparkanlah olehmu berdua ke dalam neraka
semua orang yang sangat ingkar dan keras kepala,

25. yang sangat enggan melakukan kebajikan, melanggar batas, dan ragu-ragu,

26. yang menyembah sembahan yang lain beserta Allah,
maka lemparkanlah dia ke dalam siksaan yang sangat."

How i pray that God reminds me of death everyday. The more we dont think of death, the more lost you are. Im not a pious person, neither someone who knows much about Islam. I just know all the basic things, i do all the basic things, and i try to refrain from doing anything stupid. I do get lost most of the time, i am weak, i am unstable, and i need help in many things in life. But, thats only human. We are nothing compared to Allah, only speckles of sand in a dessert storm. I view the level of my closeness to Allah through how many times i think of death a day, the more i think about it, i think the closer i am to God.
Yes, i am VERY AFRAID.
Yes, i DO NOT WANT to DIE.
Yes, i DO NOT WANT to think of DEATH.
BUT....
thats what i need, like a switch on the back of my head, telling me not to stray afar from righteousness.

How long do we have to live. how many more seconds of this precious life can we survive. Thats a secret no one knows.

We do not have much time left. Our biological clock is ticking, and our hourglass is running out of sand.

AS long as we are still alive, take the chance to savour every single moment. Love all that needs to be loved. Remember all that needs to be remembered. As long as our soul is still in our body, we have just ONE MORE CHANCE.......TO LIVE~

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un