I suddenly found myself to be a very kampung girl, not that i did not realise it, i just did not think i was too kampung-ish.
Anyway, i went out one day to fetch a friend from the airport and his parents were going to be there, so i opted to wear something pink and white. Plus,i had no more jeans to wear because of my &*%$#$ dobi. Omg, i must have looked childish, but i was going for the whole innocent look =P
That got me thinking actually, why had i become so like this. I was brought amongst my siblings who are the exact opposite of me. My cousins are the exact opposite of me. And here i am, shy, quiet, immature....worst of all, kampung...oh the dreaded word, i wonder why we are so afraid to be termed as kampung in the first place.
Mom always brought me up a bit differently, i dont know if it was because i was the last and thus termed the baby of the family. They never let me in the kitchen, dad never spanked me if i did not know my maths, abang has a soft side when it comes to me and kakak, bosses me around..just kidding, she spoils me a lot.
I was in a very protected environment, which i am sometimes thankful of, but sometimes i do wish i was more like my sister, brother and cousins. MY sister laughed her head of when she heard i did not go clubbing in bali, my brother laughed his pants off when he heard it because he would go to brazil just to go clubbing.
Sometimes i wonder, who do i really wish to be...
Who am i actually...
Is my life full of what other people want me to be...
Or is it full of what i want to be like other people...
And if so, then what am i like, really...
I define the world into 3 types of human beings.
GROUP A : - PEOPLE WHO ARE REALLY RELIGIOUS
- REALLY TRY TO KEEP AWAY FROM DOING ANYTHING WRONG
- ALWAYS DO ACTIVITIES THAT ARE FOR THE GOOD OF OTHER PEOPLE-->
LIKE CERAMAH, USRAH, AND OTHERS
- MINGLE MOSTLY WITH OTHER PEOPLE FROM THIS GROUP
- MOST ARE NICE PEOPLE, HARMLESS ENOUGH, SOME WONT ACCEPT YOU IF YOU ARE
NOT RELIGIOUS ENOUGH
- SOMETIMES TERMED AS ALIM, SOMETIMES TERMED AS KAMPUNG
GROUP B : - NORMAL AVERAGE JOE
- SOMETIMES HAVE THE FEELING OF WANTING TO BE RELIGIOUS, SOMETIMES FORGETS
ABOUT IT AND WANTS TO JOIN GROUP C
- A VERY CONFUSED LOT OF PEOPLE
- HAVE A VERY BLURRY IDENTITY OF THEMSELVES
- SOMETIMES A BIT TOO SHY, SOMETIMES A BIT TOO LOUD, SOMTIMES JUST PLAIN
- HAVE DONE ACHIEVEMENTS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS, BUT ALSO HAVE DONE BAD STUFF
- SOMETIMES TERMED AS NERD, SOMETIMES TERMED AS KAMPUNG
GROUP C : - KNOW ABOUT RELIGION, BUT SOMETIMES TOO LAZY TO DO IT
- LIVE A VERY HAPPY LIFE IN THE WORLD, WITHOUT NEEDING TO CARE ABOUT
MUCH, BUT KNOWS THAT AFTER THE END OF THE WORLD, MAYBE ITS NOT HAPPY
- VERY CONFIDENT ABOUT THEMSELVES
- KNOW THAT MOST WANT TO BE LIKE THEM
- SOMETIMES TERMED AS COOL, NEVER TERMED AS KAMPUNG
So which group do i belong to u ask..of course i belong to group B. 1 foot in A,the other in C. I can be both at times, but majoring only in 1 at most.
My sister once said to me, 60% of what we do is what we picked up from the people near us. I wish i had picked up the cooler 60% though. Its easy for her to say, she was born to be cool. Unlike her little sister here.
Back to the bigger picture, i went to a boarding school, which helped in making me like this today.. sigh..No one in my family went to boarding school, except my brother, who eventually hated it because there was no freedom.
I cringed at how kampung-ish i must be.. *bigg cringe*
Ill try to be less kampung-ish in the future
But at the moment, I dont know the definition of myself. I kind of lost my identity along the way when i picked up 60% of other uncool beings along the way...
But who cares what people think right (yerright)
If thats who i really am, then theres nothing anyone can do about it (except for me, who will try)
kampung girl does not want to say bye to city boy, but it looks like it should be that way...
or shouldnt it be...~