the scrapbook and the paper shredder

when i was smaller, i once asked mom to take a couple of coloured paper to her office to shred. They were bright yellow a4 sized papers, to make the borders of my scrapbook which had to be done for school. so I asked mom to shred the coloured paper to make mini squiggly borders on the sides of each page, and if mom forgot to shred them, i would throw a tantrum, getting mad at her, as i would be late in doing my nice scrapbook. Mom would always just say, `sorry,sorry,sorry..mama forgot, i`ll do it tomorrow ok`..and i would frown tight-lipped as i thought about how i was ever going to be able to do the borders now!

Everyone had to do the scrapbook project, and it was some sort of competition, who made the most beautiful scrapbook with neat hand writing and beautiful cartoon pictures. We would even go out on weekends to find the fanciest paper for the cover, and even nicer covers for the pages inside. At school, we would marvel at each others development and compete to see who would end up with the nicest scrapbook of all.

I would bug mom and dad all day to take me to the nearest bookstore so that i could show off to my friends about how my scrapbook would be the fanciest. Each page was done with care so as to appear neat and tidy. Mom and dad must have had a headache watching me meticulously doing it again and again, and spending their money on it. But, who cares, as long as we have the nicest scrapbook right! And i sure wanted to hand in my scrapbook on time, making sure it would be the best.



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The reason why i remembered this piece of memory, was when mom called just now. They had just finished their prayers at 11 o`clock at night from the mosque and are now safely tucked in our orange house in perak. We talked for awhile, but actually, i wasnt focusing on our conversation, my mind was thinking about how i always take for granted that mom and dad would always be there when i called, when i needed them...i forgot how precious every single time i have to talk or spend with my mom and dad was.

What triggered this thought was when i went with some friends to help out at the earthquake site,where a lot of them had lost everything, if not food, water, shelter, then loved ones. I dont mean to sound all mushy, and goody two shoe-d...but its just that sometimes we forget things can be taken from us at any time in our lives.. and the point is, the only thing i dont want taken away from me is my mother and father......

I always take them for granted, when i run out of money, with just a phone call,mom would drive out to the bank and put in double the amount i needed. If it was my birthday, they would always write me beautiful notes in my birthday card chosen with lots of love. They were ALWAYS there...ALWAYS..i cant imagine what would happen to me if they werent...

REcently, we just celebrated dads 60th birthday..both my parents are aged as it is, and even the process of watching them slowly aging is really sad to see.. they were both succesful and were on the fast track for such a long time that it is really different to see them slow down.....and they are slowing down. They walk slower, they forget easily, and they take things one at a time.

Yasmin ahmad once told her mother, she wants her mother to die first. because if she herself died first, then there would be no one to take care of her mother. Thats a really noble thing to say, if you think about it. Because,my wish on the other hand is very selfish...i would always pray that i die before my parents do...because i cant bear to live without them....i really cant....i just cant.....~

you see...Mom and dad are like a scrapbook which i should always do as best as i can...fill them with pretty pictures of sweet memories, make them even more precious with their perfect smile and laughter...and always handle them with care... so that one day, when i have to hand them over to God, i want to make sure that they had the perfect life that they deserved.and this is certainly one scrapbook that i want to make sure...is the best~

**ps

guilty!!of not blogging for a long time!and blogging nonsense stuff!been busy readjusting to life back in jatinangor after nice hols..!huu~