aduan rakyat

I drove my mother yesterday to the small town of Batu Gajah to pay her bills on a hot sunny day. It was like any other usual day when anyone would pay the bills except for today, i was with my mother who would usually do the chores on her own. While she paid for the taxes,she was complaining about how much we had to pay for the house in Batu Gajah, the yearly assesment of the house was, shockingly very expensive, amounting to RM1000 per year! My parents have been paying that amount for years since we did not live in Perak before, and thought it was how much we were supposed to pay. But as the years went on, and we asked around more, it was impossible that such a place could amount to that much. A house in Kuala Lumpur had a yearly assesment of only RM400, and another house in the outskirts of Selangor reached up only to RM200. This was absurd!

After a few moments thinking about whether or not we should deal with this problem, we decided that we should just face the music. Besides, Majlis Daerah Batu Gajah was just around the corner. My mother told me, don't be shocked when you see the building, it looks like a hotel. In my mind, i did not picture it to be like what i actually saw. The building was huge, every single detail was given to its architecture and landscaping, spacious parking lots were strewn everywhere. I could not believe my eyes! Batu Gajah town was a far cry from the Majlis Daerah building, there is a lot of rubbish, the buildings look dilapidated and the roads are not as magnificent as the ones leading to their office. To make things worse, the Majlis Daerah building is situated right beside the Batu Gajah library, the library was another distant cry from that majestic building. It is a small wooden kampung house, converted into a library.

When we walked into the vast offices, the very cold air conditioning system greeted us. There was no one at the counter, even after we buzzed the bells a dozen times. Some officers saw us, but went on going as if we were not there. Finally, someone came to our assistance, after a long wait, and said, there is a meeting going on. But if there is a meeting, why does everyone have to go, even the people who are supposed to be at the counter. On a good note, when we filed our complaint, they were effective in finding out the problem. It turns our, our yearly assesment was only RM200, but somewhere along the way, someone had charged our bills amounting to RM1000. Isn't that a big difference, and my parents have been paying that amount for more than 5 years, (we were told that Majlis Daerah does not keep any archives for more than 5 years, all the previous records were deleted)

When I asked about the library, they said, it was not under their jurisdiction. Then who does the library belong too? The people. Who should be in charge of the peoples welfare? I think you know the answer to that.

I am in the medical field, and to tell you the truth, i am aghast at the situation i faced that day. Have you ever walked down the halls of a government hospital, and compared it to the majestic halls of Majlis Daerah, then you would know the difference. In a government hospital, the doctors do not even have enough space for their own desk, some have to share the same cubicle, meeting hundreds of patients a day. When i walked in the Majlis Daerah, it was so huge, you could hold tea parties there, and no one would notice it. It has been happening everywhere and everyone is turning a blind eye. The lament about the mistake of our assesment is just a small complaint. For me, the most important thing i see is the unfairness and injustice that we, the rakyat has been done. The people of Malaysia has been paying high taxes, hoping in turn to get a beautiful country, no rubbish, lush green parks and well planned towns. But what i see here, is that all the money is sent to Majlis Daerah to beautify its buildings, landscape its horizons and only partially give back its responsibility towards the people.

I walked out from Majlis Daerah Batu Gajah with a very sad heart. If this is what is happening to our country, where libraries are not important and the people are not well taken care of, and that things would turn for the better one day. I still have high hopes in Malaysia still being a thriving country, lets pray my hopes are not dashed.

FEAR NOT THE BIG, BAD WORLD~

I was trying to figure out what to do with sooca just around the corner, when i decided to rest my brain for a few seconds, which as usual would turn into minutes or hours. My hands lingered beneath the shelf of my study table until i found the book that i wanted, a recipe book.aha! no, my dears, im not a talented cook, and no, i still havent found the best joys of cooking, so i have to look at recipe books. This certain recipe book was one that mom gave me during my second year, when i started cooking malaysian food for my housemates as we have this schedule on who cooks on what days. TImely enough, it is my turn to cook for today and i was flipping through the pages when an old newspaper clipping suddenly dropped to the floor.

What is this, is it one of those old papers that i keep forgetting to throw away. Opening it, i read the big bold letters spelling out..FEAR NOT THE BIG, BAD WORLD..by dina zaman. Owh, now i remember, my mother had placed this article in the recipe book just before the flight, she said, read it, and maybe it will enlighten you to search for greener pastures. well, she didnt exactly say that, but that abound sums her words up anyway.

iv been putting off the time to read the article, that i totally forgot it existed. but today, i guess ill share some excerpts from the article and why my mom insisted on me reading it. ps i linked the article and you should really read it before you proceed to read my entry, or not you would not understand my constant ramblings...please click here for anyone who would love to read it~
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No wonder mom asked me to read this article. I guess she saw how narrow minded i have become and she placed this article in hopes that i would change for the better. IT is terrifyingly true what the writer had wrote, and i really wish i did not have to say this, but this is what i have become. Im always in the same circle of friends, that my mind has not smelt the fragrance of other thoughts, other opinions and other ways of living.

IT sometimes feels cooped up to live in a world where you see and talk with the same people everyday. Even though it does feel nice to have a clique or a certain group of friends most times, thats not a good enough excuse not to mingle around. If i had the chance, i would definitely love to mingle around with some indonesian friends, but at every chance i get, i probably would ruin any friendship that was about to blossom.

Firstly, i stutter in my terrible indonesian language, which after 3 years here has not improved the least, and then i do tend to jingle the wrong words, so its either that i might die out of embarrasment, or they would die out of fits of laughter (which they try to hide by the way). I really admire some of my malaysian friends who had succeeded in breaking the barrier between two adverse countries. it must feel so good to get a change of air sometimes, and i always wish i was one of those who could. sometimes i would ask, whats wrong with me, why cant i be more like that, but until now i have not found the answer, and i definitely have not found the solution yet.

Mother always said to me, IF EVERYONE IS THINKING THE SAME THING, THEN NO ONE IS THINKING AT ALL.
Sometimes i do like to talk to people outside the circle of friends that i usually hang around with.
Sometimes, i just like to walk alone and have some time for myself to think.
Sometimes, when i think alone, i tend to smile to myself...and i guess people would think i was a lunatic huh~

I would like to follow the writers and moms advice, its high time to change for nadya amin shaharudin, dont you think! by the way, i want to share with you something, why do i like to blog when i know no one actually reads my blog..haha....its the fact that blogging helps me talk to myself (in a healthy way, mind you), and it helps me rethink of the person that i am, and the person that i will be in the future. I really support everyone who blogs and i must say, i would never restrict what they want to express on their blogs. Bloggers are people with an open heart, bloggers are people who always talk to themselves frequently and smile without noticing it, and bloggers are, just, you and me~

**Its time for me to open my eyes and stop closing myself from the world, nadya is going abroad in mind, soul and in her way of life. DEfinitely!

**Its time that i should stop being afraid of anything, confidence goes a long way, but i must remember over-confidence will bring me down though~

**Its time for me to become someone in this world, not another face in the crowd

**ITS
TIME
FOR
ME
TO
CHANGE!


ps: its also time for me to cook, but it wouldnt sound cool if i put it just now..lo...anyway, sorry for the really unfeasible entry, please blame it on the fact that my brain must not have any literature at the moment and must be filled with mad sciene..

ps2: hey, i just found out mad-science= medicine ...they do sound nearly the same, haha...im babbling arent i...

anyway..gotta go~
over and out


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hes just not THAT into you

i learned a very valuable lesson in life today, after watching this movie that i just bought entitled HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

The movie is actually an atypical love story, telling evey girl, if the guy never calls back, or never messages, you dont have to think deep...

he didnt loose your number

the phone lines arent damaged

he is not busy with his work

hes
just
NOT THAT INTO YOU!

ahah! a very simple answer to many complicated questions to come.

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I have decided to apply this very wise principle in my life in no matter what i face. The point is, i want to stop figuring out what i do wrong, or where were my mistakes, and just stop caring too much about other people that i myself have a heartache,a headache, and just loads of aches.

Girls have this problem of always worrying too much. i wish it wasnt so. if some guy suddenly did not call me or message me, yes i would definitely think, and think, and think and think...why hasnt this guy called or messaged. and then, sometimes, like a total looser, giving up my egoistic hope, i would message, or call...and then, sometimes i would get a short message, or sometimes no reply at all...and i would then curl up in bed, with little drops of tears in my eyes. ahaa.! the exact words of a total imbecile! A character in the movie said, `i never worry if a guy does not call me back or messages me, because i know there sure are soo much more better guys out there than he ever will be`. Yupp, told like a true soldier, and a true soldier i shall be =)word of advice, he didnt loose your number, he didnt forget to call, he is not busy at all....HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!

I am not trying to flatter myself when i say i used to care a lot about what other people feel. Im always apologizing for who i am, what i did or did not do, and just basically bringing myself down for the sake of making someone else happy or just when i wanted to fit in. But, after watching this movie, i felt my head cleared, feeling theres no point in going through all that, when you can easily just dont care anymore. For me, whats worse than hatred is when you just dont give a damn...

There was this one point in life, when i just switched schools, at that time, my english had not deteriorated to this terrible level yet.so When people heard me speaking, they thought i was a show off, snobbish english-speaking brat, but in reality, i was brought up to speak english at home, and the schools i had gone to were all english-medium based. it was just that I was more comfortable speaking in english more than in any other language. I was so sad at the time, i just wanted to fit in and be like other people who can easily have a conversation, laughing out loud. So i decided to do something about it, making my first mistake, which was apologizing for who i am.

I started adding lah-s in my conversation, and trying to speak broken english. Yeah, you may say it was a stupid decision, but at the time, if you were in my shoes, at that age, i guess you would do the same thing. Even once in uni, i used to enjoy going to the front to talk or questions, not because i wanted to boast, but because i thought i was just being friendly. or so i thought. never could i be so wrong, a friend confided in me that she said everytime i went to the front, she thinks that it was because i wanted to show off. sad right~ since that day, i started to pull myself from doing such things in public, and i lowered myself to a level so ghastly, just so that other people would accept me.

Another mistake i made, was when i apologized for something which i know is not my fault, and i try to make other people happy by acting like a fool, always apologizing, and condescending myself. I say im not good in this, im not good in that, im not as pretty enough, not everything, just to keep other people happy. But what does that make me~ it has really hurt me along the way, imagine, having to tell oneself that im not good enough. I kept critiscizing myself in hopes that people would finally smile again. is it worth it i ask~

The statement do not unto others what others unto you does mean well. Nothing good comes out of revenge. SO, revenge is never a good thing. This principle that i am applying now is dont seek revenge, dont seek hatred, just DO NOT CARE anymore. THat is. its simple right. in other words, just relax lah~ go with the flow, and dont think too much.

**Sometimes it works, sometimes its hard not to think about a problem that we face. But whatever happens, happens for a reason, and it just, you know, happens. The course of our life is not decided by what we worry on, but on what we decided to do.

**If i had a problem, i would donate hours of my life trying to figure out what i did wrong in hopes of finding a solution. But as of today, i know that everything has a solution....but not everything must be solved.

**i was surfing the net just now and got this of someones blog, and yeah,its so true!



** its a bit too big to put on mine, but it says

THERES A POINT IN LIFE WHEN YOU GET TIRED OF CHASING EVERYONE AND TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING.
BUT ITS NOT GIVING UP
ITS REALIZING YOU DONT NEED CERTAIN PEOPLE AND THEIR CRAP~