of badak berendam and mangkuk tingkat

Assalamualaikum and a happy ramadhan to everyone i know...

aaah, it feels so good to be able to sit in front of my laptop with internet at home (finally)...as of this moment, i am currently in our house in tronoh, perak.(yes, its perak now, no more kl).haha...but i dont mind, sometimes you do need a place to get away from everything which mom and dad have finally been able to do after all these years. It is peaceful here, all you can hear are the birds chirping and the pitter patter of rain. Mom is with Mak Teh reminiscing their childhood in perak, dad is reading the papers in the dining hall and kakak is sitting on the sofa, staring out at the garden which my parents have been missing out since they joined the rat race.

Kakak asked me a few days ago, nadya, what do you miss most about raya? the answer i could think of at that time was i miss the times when everyone would crowd in one house. kakak...missed our beloved Nani, she said..yeah, during those times, my grandmother, or affectionately called Nani was still alive. We do miss her a lot because with her presence, everyone would come back to batu gajah and just fill her yellow bricked house. the lawn would be full of us kids running around, chasing each other, climbing the massive mango tree, and the only thing that kept us from becoming wild goose were the mosquitoes that were abundant. As the sun begins to hide across the horizons, we could already sniff the sweet smell of Nanis and Mak Tehs delightful dinner on the way as they hustled and bustled in the hot kitchen. Everyone would wait impatiently as they bring out the best food ever, one by one... There would be plenty of food, everything tasted like a slice of heaven as they were the greatest chefs i could ever remember!

Mak teh kept a lot of cats and we would play with them before everyone was called to dinner. All of us were on our best behavior, no elbows on the dining table please, if you spill it, wipe it..and the list goes on. But every mouth watering dish was, ahh, indescribable..and the desserts were to die for.pumpkin pie, chocolate cake..you name it! and oh yeah, there would always be jars of young mango preserved, ooohh...succulent,sweet and tantalizing.hell yeah! all the aunts and uncles, cousins would eat together and talk through the night. We youngsters would play with the bunga api outside, laughing as we trembled with delight and awe at the sparkles.

And when the young night has come to an end, we would bring out those pink mattresses kept under Nani's bed and lay dozens of them in the large hall. Mak Teh would bring out the home made quilt blankets and all the families would sleep side by side. goodnight kakak,goodnight intan, goodnight afzal~

(i wish i could write a beautiful memoir of our childhood days, or at least a beautiful entry...but i dont feel so good today, went to the doctor and had heaps of blood taken out for a blood test =( ..)

PS:

yesterday, i learnt a new word..badak berendam..literally speaking. Mom told me and my sister to go buy some malay kuehs for buka puasa, so we went out to the nearest kueh stall just around the curb. as kakak was staying in the car, i went out and patrolled the streets for the best kueh around. finally, something caught my eye. they looked like bakso dipped in coconut milk! i was elated! the stall seller just laughed and said, this is badak berendam, try some. feeling not so confident to try it, i decided to buy it anyway and brought it back home.

Upon buka puasa, everyone reached out for the kuehs, and dad with startled eyes asked, whats this ball-like thing in the coconut milk? and we all answered its badak berendam! he was laughing and said, what an ugly name, its so literal! but as we tried it, it turns out the kueh was good after all. guess its true not to judge anything by its name and appearance then! =)

i should be updating about my winter/summer holiday in this entry, but i totally forgot to bring my travel journal, and it wouldnt be of much use if i just made a just-so entry would it? but ill put some pictures here, just a little bit..for all the rest, theres always facebook .

back in business!

haha!told you it would be way loonng before i wrote again...i just came back from a terrific vacation in aussie!!and i really really miss my cousins already...awww...!ive got tons to tell, but it'll have to wait until im in the house in perak...

updates since 24/7

im back in malaysia since the day i turned 22! owh how old i feel and how uncomfortable i am in this very stinky cyber cafe. theres no internet connection in our house in kajang, and thats where i would be for this whole week.

lots of nice things happened since i came back home, kakak drove all the way to kajang from johor to celebrate my birthday! i would really love to upload some nice pics of what we did but as i said, i am stuck here..

mom wanted dim sum so we went to eat at this chinese restaurant in equatorial hotel, unfortunately, the person we called did not mention that they only served dim sums for lunch..so we just ate normal food of steak and sandwiches,but i ate the buffet...haha...reminds me of my childhood days when mom would bring us there for breakfast and lunch as she was busy with work in bangi..

anyway..can i update on that later? seriously...trhis place is soo stinky!!..
huhu

but probably ill not update for quite some time...maybe in 2 weeks..maybe in a month...im not sure yet...t

take care!i miss the comfort of internet at home,..wuwuwuw

.....

happy birthday to me =(

if someone prays....

ive been complaining about my cough for the last month, which was very bad i might add. The reason why my cough continued even more than my other friends who suffered the same episode was that i come from a family who has asthma. The doctor who checked on me the other day told me that even if one does not have asthma, but have family members who do, they will have a prolonged coughing episode...i see~

First of all, i would like to apologize AGAIN for not updating my blog as frequently as i used to. hey, even my room is messy nowadays. argh...

anyway...i was watching evan almighty while half studying with my eyes closed yesterday. Ive watched it before, but had nothing better to do as i sat in front of the idiot box.actually, Evan almighty was found not to be suitable for the muslim audience as it contained scenes nearing to blasphemy and the likes. but then again, theres this saying that goes, take what is good and leave the bad, and that is what i did when i watched this particular movie.

if any of you watched it, you would probably have heard this line that i would like to share with you:

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?

If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous?

If someone prayed for their family to be closer,you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?


it means alot doesnt it, see, i told you not all that is bad IS bad. anyway, that night, after quite some time of not doing so, i opened my Quran and flipped to the last page that i had read before. i had finally reached surah Yaasin after so long, and so that night, i read the verses with a bottle of water in front of me as my habit when reading the quran. (not for any purposes, but just my throat gets parched easily). As i recited the last words one by one, i was getting ready for a bout of cough, and gulped down to the last drop the bottle of water in front of me.

Guess what, until today...my cough which had been torturing me for one month ..has finally gone away as the last droplets of water that night entered my throat. can i say its a miracle, maybe.....

i prayed to God to make me well, i complained to Him not to make me sick, not to burden me especially at this time. I fretted and frowned at every cough, every sneeze, every high temperature. I talked to Him every night before i sleep that if he could just make me well again, i would pray to him with even more zest.everyday i would tell him i would appreciate it very much if he took my painful cough away..and then i stopped to think...

IF I PRAYED TO BE CLOSER TO GOD, DO YOU THINK GOD GIVES ME CLOSENESS....OR DOES HE GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE CLOSE TO HIM~

thats deep~..you see, i have based my whole life on this particular sentence, that everything happens for a reason..no matter how bad that something is..i guess its true..hmm, this is kind of an abrupt entry as im still finding my momentum on blogging! hope you liked this, toodles...and i am coming back to the blogging world! =)

when was the last time you did something spontaneous

dear diary,

its been one week since i wrote anything, fresh out of ideas i might say.

i was walking back home from my sunday morning jog, which is now a walk because i cant run more than a few miles before starting to cough, argh, really a pain in the butt, me cough..cant even go do proper workout.

anyway,during my walk back home...

i felt ive been living the same old day in and day out...

whens the last time i did something spontaneous

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I REALLY LIVED~

the cat in the hat

There was an old woman who lived by the sea
She ate lobsters and crickets for dinner
And for breakfast, its beans coladas and pea

Her house was at the tip of a cliff
Her smile was uneven, much needed a face lift
Her scarf was red and well used
But she always, just smiles, and laughs and mused

The old woman had a cat who lived in a hat
Who lived with her while catching live rats
He slept and snored on the window sill
And kept by her side when she was ill

The cat worried if his owner died
What would he eat, would he have survived
And purred day in and out by the womans bed
Until one day, she gasped and coughed..and then she was dead..

Poor old cat cried tiny kitty tears
He is now alone, as he had always feared
His fur was dirty from no human touch
All he ate was mice for lunch

One day as he strolled through the garden of weed
He stumbled upon a giant apple seed
As he patted the dust so that he could see
the seed grew and grew into a tree

On top of the tree was an old woman whos smile was uneven
And put out her arms to the now purring cat
Who took up her cat with her to heaven
ANd remained the same furry creature who lived in her hat

~ex
libris

arent we all under the weather...

Recently there seems to be an epidemic not only in my house but i guess a lot of people here and everywhere. EVeryone seems to be sick, and if not sick, is already showing signs of getting the same sickness.

Its really terrible to be sick, but people say that when sickness comes, sins float away. So, in reality, we should be happy to be sick i guess, but it really is hard to be happy when your nose is blocked and your throat is swollen like a bee right.

A wise man told me the trick to not feeling sick is to fight back, when your body feels the most weak, that is when you act as if you feel nothing.

i went out to jog today, but i kept stumbling over my own feet because i didnt feel up to it. Both me and my friend felt like 2 dizzy homo sapient who just happened to stroll down the dusty hot road. Along the way, we bought hot fresh milk, maybe it would soothe our dizzyness. As we walked slowly, we stopped talking for awhile, both immersed in each others own thoughts of dizzyness.

Still not content with the hot milk, i stopped by the local grocery mart and bought myself tons of ionic drinks, having high hopes that these would help. But as the day would turn into night, i would probably go see a doctor later in the evening.

This post means nothing really, but just wanting to say im sick!haha...nah~its not that, i just want to wish all the others who are sick to get well soon~

Mom told me this story of a muslim doctor, captive in a dark cell with other prisoners of war. ALl they had was mountain water trickling inside their dark cell. The doctor tried to cure the sickness of everyone who was in the cell with him with what he had...and all he had was water. He made them drink lots of water day in and out, he bathed their wounds with water, and he made sure that everything he did, included the treatment with water.

With the blessing of God, all under his care became well again, and one day they were set free after months of being captives. After regaining his freedom, he did a research on using water as a healing remedy. I dont remember exactly, but i think it was mentioned in the quran or hadiths about the power of clear water, untainted by any other contents. And at last, his research proved to be fruitful, as water indeed had may i say a miracle healing property.

Thats why all of us today are recommended to drink 3L of water a day..

ok, so thats what im trying to do now...ive stocked myself with more water than ever..hopefulle id get well soon...

maybe prove the miracle of water too =)

anyway, get well soon everyone....may the holidays be happy and not like as if stuck in a prison where everyone seems to be in a foul mood

want to read something beautiful~

purity is half of faith

alhamdulillah fills the scales

subhanallah and alhamdulillah fill that which is between heaven and earth

prayer is light

charity is proof

patience is illumination

Quran is an argument for OR against you

Everyone starts his day

And is a vendor of his soul

either freeing it or bringing about its ruin~~

hadith # 23

JOGJAKARTA-SOLO 2009

(a very tanned hand from the travels i must say!)

Im back from a really fantastic vacation from my accounts that is. EVeryone has been telling me that Jogjakarta had nothing much to offer, but for me, the 5 day holidays with 9 crazy lunatics was worth every single cent. The 5 days of total relaxing holiday was what i needed to get away from the hustling life in jatinangor for awhile, and it did me good. But coming back to the comforts of my room, from the hot sun of jogjakarta, yupp,its true what they say... sometimes theres no place like home!

I have been thinking of finding myself a travel log traditional type of notebook, where i can record my travels. But i havent been able to find a really nice one, something like abangs leather bound notebook. Anyway, for this travel, i used my expense record in my handphone to keep track of what i have been doing. IT helps a bit, but a travel journal would be even better.

These entries are going to be very very travelly, so sorry if you get bored about it...!This entry is an intro, so bear with it ya





ok, first things first, the essential things to bring during a 5 day travel. from left.

1. make sure you bring a bag fit to travel that can ACTUALLY fit stuff in it! I finally found the best bag to travel, which was given to me by my aunt from one of her travels to Greece, i think. It has lots of useful pockets in it, and can be turned into a side bag, handbag and back pack. very versatile.

2. always bring along toiletries to freshen oneself anywhere at anytime. sunblock, wet tissue, hand sanitizer, face spray, hair comb,hair serum..haha...very gurly, i know!but it IS essential i say!

3. Bring a camera that lasts the whole day and night (which mine only lasts for half a day, hence the lack of photographs)

4. NEver forget to bring your handphone, eventhough sometimtes you need to get away from all those gadgets

4. its not in the picture, but i bring along my hat wherever i go because it is definitely hot!

5.SUNGLASSES! --to shade oneself..and to look HOT...muahaha

6. I recently bought a mini telekung, which is a tad bigger than the palm of my hand..very,very useful..one of the most practical things i bought in my life, seriously

After finishing my osce remed on friday, i ran home, and....SLEPT!!
huhu
but i did finish packing a good hour before going to the train station.
our kijang was really late and we had to employ personal vehicles at the last minute..that was cumbersome for everyone, so sorry..
but at last, we reached the train station in time, and after crossing the railway track, in and out of coaches, we finally settled into our blue seats ..all 10 of us.

those on the trip:





ok...actually this entry has been in my draft for ages, around 2-3 days. but i have been busy wrecking my mind thinking of something to weasle my way out of the 2nd judicium. I just dont understand why we have to go and dont they understand that we are not only troubling ourselves, but troubling our parents as well...yeahh, mom said, they are just a sadistically set of people...aint nothing we can do about it, they live on other peoples sadness.

Dont want to spoil my mood on writing about my trip now, so i guess ill go back to the vacation part.


DAY 1 ( 27.06.09)

The train ride was for 8 hours, and it was extremely cold in the coach. I bundled myself with layers of warmth, woken up time to time by some passing freeze. Luckily, i survived the cold train ride unscathed and we arrived at the train station in jogjakarta at 4.30 am.
The air was cool, as we unloaded our bags into the RUMAH UMNO,which we would be staying in for the next 4 days, 3 nights. The big house was not luxurious, but good enough to accommodate us backpackers. WE rested for an hour, some took a bath, 1 person didnt (hee)...and by 7, we were of again to travel the ancient city.

The aim for today was to finish all the temples, or candis. I felt that it was very interesting to look upon such great architecture, the richness of the past, which one day could collapse at any moment. The day was extremely hot, as we climbed the first temple, CANDI BOROBUDUR. The view was astonishing, miles and miles of ancient stones merely stacked upon each other with nothing much to hold them together. Any large earthquake could easily dismantle the ancient temple as had more than once happened. I took lots of pictures, definitely, as we scuttled around the large temple. We spent around 2 hours there before proceeding to other temples. The next two temples were much smaller, Candi Pawon and Candi Mendut. Candi Mendut was nice because it had this large tree where we children swung like tarzan from timbuktu. These temples had various buddhist influence, and beside Candi Mendut was a newly built buddhist monastery which we did go in, only to take some photos. A friend of mine took a really beautiful photograph from her slr, which i would like to congratulate her on, and wish that she would enter the photo in any competitions!i do!






The next was Ratu Boko, which isnt actually a temple, but a place for the princesses to take a bath. ermm..may i say, it was an ancient ground for bath tubs. I absolutely loved the scenery here, but unfortunately, my battery died on me upon reaching this scenic place. but, ill ask from some other friends, probably youll see it on my facebook. The whole landscape was large, and we got lost once, (following someone la...i wonder who laa)..=P..But we managed to get back to the right area, and we spent a lot of time there, taking in the natural beauty of the past.

As we spent a lot of time there, by the time we went to Prambanan, we couldnt get in. But the sun was setting and it was magnificent! I do wish i could post the pictures here! later, i hope.

Lastly, after a tiring day visiting all the temples, we went home, took a bath and went out for dinner at Mang Engking. (im not quite sure how to spell it). But this restaurant is in a castle, very interesting i must say! The seafood was normal, but maybe we paid for the ambience.

All in all...it was a good day spent..

EXPENSES
Car petrol 20 000
Borobudur entrance ticket 16 000
Personal stuff 28 000
6 000
Candi Pawon and Candi Mendut
entrance ticket 3 500
Lunch (nasi baker) 11 500
Any travel expenses 10 000
Candi Brambanan and Ratu Boko
entrance ticket 25 000
Dinner at Mang Engking
–palace seafood… 57 500

total= 177 500

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DAY 2 (28.06.09)

I was eager to try out nasi gudeg after my lecturer told me that it tasted good. Unfortunately, never trust anyones taste buds except for yourself...true! It wasnt good at all, i barely touched mine, what more looked at my friends dish which contained an exotic bird head and rice...ahaha..



Today, we went to the train station to check out our options to Solo before proceeding to the Kraton which is the palace in Jogja. The palace grounds was large, very asian oriented monarchy. It is considered the little brother of Solo as the royalty first started there. Kraton closes at 2 pm so, we had to go there first thing.






After the palace, we visited Brambanan again, this time my camera still had batteries. But you should really see it during sun set, awesome! I bought this really nice purple had for a good price and am extremely satisfied with it.(yeayy!!)

At brambanan, we took a mini train around the compound while looking at other temples around it. By the end of our 2 day trip, i reckon we could ace any history test on the temples in jogja!









WE went back home to rest for lunch, again eating nasi bakar which is really good and cheap. Situated just at the corner of where we were staying, definitely should try. After having rested, we went to Amplaz in search of civilized shopping! (sorry ma friends, we had to check out the mall didnt we!)..fortunately for me, things were expensive and not to my liking so i didnt spend much.

VEry restful and unhurried day, enjoyed it!

EXPENSES

Car rental (2 days travel) 160 000
Breakfast-nasi gudeg, ayam suwir 12 500
Car petrol day 2 20 000
Kraton entrance ticket 3 000
Personal stuff 7 000
40 000
10 000
20 000
70 000
130 000
Mini train at brambanan 5000
Lunch –nasi bakar again 10 000
Dinner @ pastello ---
ambarrukmo plaza (amplaz) 25 500

TOTAL = 513 000

___________________________________________________________________________________

DAY 3 (29.06.09)

Today we woke up earlier than usual because we are going to SOLo! hurrayy!
The train to Solo is called pramex, costing very cheap and the trip is only 1 hour.
WE were kind of lost at what to do, i felt guilty because i lost the list of things to visit in Solo. We took a beca from the train station and went around town, as we arrived early in the morning, nothing was opened much. So we went to mcd, where 2 friends went to find a large car to rent. We ended up getting thiS reALY really large mobile fitting all of us.




First stop, Kraton Kasunanan. This palace was unique because it had a lot of western influence as it is the big brother of the royalty in Jogja. There were many gifts from athens, greece, the british and a lot of european countries. In solo, it is known as kasunanan because it is bigger than the royalty in jogja. in jogja, it is known as kasultanan..see the difference right..
The palace grounds were unique because you had to take off any sandals or slippers to step on the special sand taken from the samudra sea. BUt if you wore closed shoes or a sandal with a back strap, then it is allowed. THe belief is that if you go bare footed on the sand, it is a sign that you were blessed and may hinder from any rheumatism.






Theres this really beautiful carriage that i liked, pure white..but as usual, my camera died on me again!!
In the middle of the palace is a well, believed to be used for health by the king.





The trip was then proceeded to the next palace known as Puro Mangkunegaran. The thing about this palace, is that he is actually one of the kings nephews, a knight in his title. He succeded to make a kingdom of his own in Solo, and thus the royal family still lives on in the palace until now.

This palace is somewhat like a mansion of a rich man. Full of marbles from italy, chandeliers from france and furs from the sumatran jungle. The tour guide said that there was a generation of the kings where he became very rich because he charged a lot of taxes from the local people, therefore enabling him to buy all those luxuries.

One interesting object in this palace, is when the tour guide mentioned the ancient g-string and the chastity belt for the king and queen. It is worn so that they wont you-know with other people outside the blood lineage. It closes their private parts, and is locked by a key, held by only 1 person. Unfortunately, photography is no allowed inside the palace itself.
The tour guide, even showed us some lulur and traditional herbs sold by the women of the palace, believed to be used since ancient time for beauty and health.






The whole mansion-type palace was very aspiring, because it was a new monarchy, a lot of the furniture still were from the 20th century. There are pictures of the king who is only 59 years old and his family. one of the family married a malaysian.

Oh, did i mention, that the movie PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG was filmed at this palace, and there are pictures of tiara jacquelina as well.

From all the palaces, we did what we always do best...visit temples..the next temple on the list is called Candi Sukho. A unique thing about this temple is that it is known as the temple for pronography!! What!! believe it or not..

The story behind this temple is that the people who built it believed that sex is sacred, something like karma sutra, and filled the temple with 18 above carvings for the sole prupose of sexual education...hmm,peculiar eyy... but true.

This candi is a long way from solo town, so we had to travel more than an hour, passing the Bengawan Solo, which is the famous river in solo, drove through impossible hilly roads and finally reach the top of the cold cold mountain.



Everyone was hungry as we got of the mini bus, so we all ate pop mie and drank hot coffee...sadly, my camera aint working this time either...(and i dont think i can buy a camera this year because of **^&*&^ FK who forced us to stay for judicium 2, so i have to waste my *&^&*^ money on flight tickets!!!!argh!!! )..
the temple was shaped like a pyramid, very unique from all the temples that we saw. i believe that it had some egyptian influence or so, as the temple was like an aztec temple.
A funny thing happened there, when we were all posing to take photographs, my friend went to ask some mat salleh for help..
so she was like, ok, you have to press this button and get this view and etc etc...
suddenly the mat salleh said : photonya mau smua atau gi mana....ahaa!!never underestimate the power of a language barrier i say!

FRom the top of the mountain, we went back to the town, it was nearing 5, so Pasar klewer which was a cheap place for batik was already closed, we had to go to this place called KAMPUNG BATIK, and the stuff there is freaking expensive.. all i got from solo, was an expensive tshirt, which after much running around, i finally got the cheapest they had to offer.

We went back to Jogja on the same 1 hour train...along the way, we stopped at the WRONG STATION!..but had time to cover our shame and went back in the train before it started to move.haha...but we reached jogja around 8, just in time for dinner after a really really long taxi ride.

EXPENSES

SOLO-train pramex 7 000
Personal stuff 6 000
25 000
Beca transport 7 500
Breakfast @ McD 34 000
Kraton Kasunanan
entrance ticket 5000
Puro Mangkunegaran 10 000
Lunch—pop mie
Candi Sukhoh 5 500
Car rental 50 000
Train back 7 000
Dinner –
phuket (8.30 pm) 29 000

TOTAL = 134 700

____________________________________________________________________________________

DAY 4 (30.06.09)

our last day in JOGJA..i would personally vote this day as one of the best days of my life! haha
I ABSOLUTELY love the beach and to the beach we went!!
This beach is called pantai krakal...its so stunningly beautiful, at par with the beaches in Bali! TO get there, is a tiring 2 hour drive up a hill! But, once you get there, it was worth it! I loved it! WE had the best times there, the water was as clear as the sky was blue...the waves crashed upon each other like neptune with his crown..The rocks beneath our feet were like stumped glass, sharp, but pleasant to our senses...

We sunk in our happiness, seeping in the sun that burn pleasurably on our already tanned skin. We even opened our own spa with sand massages! how about that!

After more than an hour of swimming, everyone lazed on the sand while playing uno..ahhh, c`est la vie....~

From the sun scorched waters of the sea, only a minute walk lead us to the public shower rooms. at first, i didnt exactly wanted to take a bath in a place like that, but we had no choice..BUT, once i took a bath in the cool natural mountain water, it was definitely a pleasantly clean experience...



EXPENSE

gas 20 000
lunch 15 000
other 10 000
train 175 000
travel
car back 160 000
house
for 3 days 45 000

TOTAL = 380 000

GRAND TOTAL = 1, 250, 000

a very budget holiday!

cant help falling in love with you......~

A few days ago, me and a couple of friends went for lunch at Ayam Bakar Laos, right after exams. I ordered my favourite mixture of Ayam goreng bumbu rojak and kuah kalasan and es teh manis to match. The moment my lunch arrived, i buried my head right into it as i was extremely hungry (as usual).

It was one of those happy days, where every single conversation turned out to be really funny. The food tasted extremely good that day, i commented ,in between fits of giggles from the jokes my friends cracked.

assalamualaikum ~~~
`pesona jilbabmu,jilbabmu, pulang dari kantor, masih berjilbab`,
`pesona jilbabmu,jilbabmu`

Suddenly, a she-man (if you know what i mean) came and started singing to this tune, as we call, mengamen(**pengamen = indonesian street singer who goes around singing in return for some donations). He\she was wearing a jilbab(head scarf) and was singing this song, in hopes that someone would give him\her change. EVeryone in the shop was trying not to burst into fits of laughter at the dangdut tune, very weird i must say, for a she-man to be singing this song. The owner of the shop started mimicking and laughing at the she-man, but he-she went on singing. Out of pity, my friend gave her some change, and with exuberance, she thanked all of us and prayed that we would be pretty women always and always. Thank you2!!..

When she was gone, everyone started laughing and singing to the tune.. It was kind of funny though..really!

A few seconds after the she-man left, a guitar tune filled the air, owh no, another pengamen, i groaned...argh..cant we eat in peace~!!!



Wise men say
only fools rush in

but I can't help
falling in love with you.

Shall I stay
would it be a sin

if I can't help
falling in love with you.

The only time i heard an indonesian street-singer hum an english tune was ages ago, this was most probably my second time! i turned quickly to take a closer look at him, eyeing him from top to bottom. It was an old man this time, his creased fingers gently strummed the guitar he had strapped against his soiled checkered shirt, with very dusty glasses, he gave and apologetic smile....his face a dark hue against the hot sunny day.

The way he walked...
The way he sang...
The way his sad eyes looked at me, it gave a shiver down my spine...
This wasnt an ordinary pengamen, this was a man, with a story...


I clapped my hands in delight as he finished the last line to the song, he wasnt one of those who came in for money, he sang the full song, albeit some wrong lyrics here and there, and then came to take the change.

WIth downcast eyes, he bowed and gave another apologetic smile, thanking us, his audience for the day. IT was one of those heart wrenching moments....where all laughter cease, as all of us sat there, in deep thought, watching this strange man....

who he was..
who he could have been..
who he is now...

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Living in indonesia for nearly 3 years now, has taught me a lot of lessons in life. When we came here during our first year in medical school, nothing could have prepared us to what we were to see. There were so many people living of the streets, wearing tattered clothes and waiting for luck to smile upon them, when a passer-by would throw coins or dollar bills. They would wait by the side of the road, some poorer than others, some were handicapped with no arms and legs, carried by another beggar.

If you have not been here, maybe you cant imagine what its like. But those who do, know what i mean. When i first came here, i wanted to give money to every single beggar that i saw. Every man, woman and child made my heart cry and want to give as much as possible. If me and my friends did not have any small change for the child-beggars, we would go and buy food to give them and so on.

One day, a senior told me, lets see how long you last with these acts of kindness, im sure you would not.. one day you would become like what all of us here have become...hati keras~ .some of them dont need the money, he said, some of them are too poor they dont have anything to eat...some of them are sincere beggars, some of them are filthy thieves...and theres millions of them ....and you cant do anything about it.
i hated him for what he said that day, and i refused to believe that i would become a person who could shut my eye on the poverty in this country...

2 years later~

HAti sudah keras...What i refused to believe has come true. years of watching too many poor people around here has made my soft sides disappear. Im sure im not the only who has become so, and most of us have closed our hearts, after feeling helpless to help the people living of the streets. REmember the girl, (me) who used to give money to every beggar, now i just give to those who really look like they need it. It has become somewhat a bad habit, where i forgetfully ignore the beggars, especially those who pitifully stand at my car window during the red lights.

Its not something im proud of...
But i guess i just adapted to life here, and have become too accustomed watching them that my empathy has faded...

A friend once told me, dikala kita gembira dan gelak ketawa, pada waktu itu, pasti ada yang sedang berduka dan menangis ... I find that very true, and i will remember what my friend said to me until the day i die~

Im not sure whats the point of this entry...
But i guess its just as a reminder, that other people out there need our help...
Like me, i tend to forget, tend to take things for granted...
But what if one day, i become like the man singing the song cant help falling in love with you...
He could have been a rich man, brought down to his knees during the era of global economical downturn...
Anytime, anywhere, we never know what might happen to us....

(sorry, im so sleepy, cant think...brain dead)(excuse the lame entry please, as i will write a better one...some day..that is..huhu)

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THis afternoon, coming back from gym, we walked back home uner the dusky sky..An old man was walking in front of me, somehow he looked familiar from the back. On his right was a small child, still in his school uniform ,on his left, was a guitar strapped to a soiled checkered shirt.

One hand was holding the means of getting money day in and day out, a song for a rupiah, the only source of income for him.

The other hand was holding his son, and with him was a hope that one day this boy could bring them out of their poverty..

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I couldnt look them in the eye, they were too sad....
But if you do see them, or the man one day while you are in jatinangor, please do give something to them.....
Who knows, we might be able to change their life one day...
Lets hope for a miracle~


Like a river flows
surely to the sea
darling so it goes
some things are meant to be.

Take my hand
take my whole life too

for I can't help falling
in love with you.

For I can't help falling
in love with you.........

BOOm bOoM PoW!!!

!!!HELLELELELEOOOOOO!!!updates2!

hye there!

i just finished all my papers today! yippee!! but unfortunately, theres still my practical exams next week...argh! but anyway, i want to rest and clean my room today..therefore, today is officially NO STUDY DAY!

My room is an absolute mess i tell you, its as if hurricane Katrina landed in the midst of jatinangor,and happened to knock on my door. I would like to show some pictures of my room one day, haha, because i never had the chance to decorate my own room way back home. We moved too much that i got used to staying in rooms that lacked any personal touches.

The sun was shinning hot today, but it was windy though. I feel im getting even darker than ever, sigh~ MY rezeki today, i was treated to lunch by mr-iv-never-been-to-jatos, (actually i forced him to go, sorry~~) and also had a really really nice bubur jagung made specially by miss-jangok-of-jatinangor (who is a really2 good friend of mine though)(btw, sedaaappp tauuu)...thank you2! you guys made my day~

After eating full to the brim, me and Y headed of to the gym, which im trying to go everyday now since classes have ended.

And things i plan to do during the hols while awaiting remedials~


1. travel jogja-solo-semarang (26-1july)

2. judicium (owh God)

3. go for guitar lessons, (yes, i am going, thank you very much =P)

4. check out the equestrian club somewhere in lembang, but cant quite get in contact with the person in charge just as yet

5. continue swimming lessons

6. continue my tae kwan do lessons

8. jog in the mornings

9. gym in the afternoons

10. finally ----get to do what normal teenagers do --> watch tons of movies, shop till i drop dead, and I GET TO WEAR PRETTY CLOTHES AGAIN...weeee ..(exam month been wearing baju tidur unless theres exams, you can see why i cant wait to wear nice clothes again..)

** btw, someone promised to play ping pong with me!!you know who you are =)

selalu denganmu~

one of my favourite indonesian artists is TOMPI!

so id like to share this song with you guys, to those who also like his songs~

anyway, enjoy..

Selalu Denganmu - Tompi



adakah waktu yg tak berbatas
untukku merasa bahagia
saat-saat aku jatuh cinta
saat ku terbang jauh ke sana

**: selalu denganmu
kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu
cintaku bersama

kaulah matahari dalam hidupku
dan kaulah cahaya bulan di malamku
hadirmu selalu akan ku tunggu
cintamu selalu akan ku rindu

Tau kah kau diriku
tak sanggup hidup bila kau jauh dariku
ku ingin di pelukmu
slalu.........

Hadirmu.. selalu akan kutunggu..
cintamu.. selalu akan ku rindu..
dan tiada lagi batas ruang waktu

ooh tuhan
tetapkan rasa cintaku ini
hanya untukmu..
selalu setia..
slama-lamanya

owh dear god!

what have i done!!

my blog has been destroyeddd

i cant even find my layouts now!!!

i think im going to have to move my blog somewhere!!

aaaa>>>!!!noooo

(gr....tu laaa...gataallllll sgtttttt...aaaaaargh)

har de har har~

nadya= pink! no way!

but i cant find a background that i like!

guess ill check out templates later...

hey gurl..studyla

REading PHop..and going GREEN

Well, tomorrow is my public health exams and im with my usual fundamental gastritis.

After reading about pollution and all, i mean i know its common knowledge, but i just want to say that i decided that im going green.

Not yet that is, but i want to try.

Not to become a vegetarian though, (because i am a meat eater), but just trying to do things to save the environment. Maybe i will update on anything i do that i feel is helping the universe live from now.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

That reminds me of my childhood days (as usual). My dad was an agricultural scientist that did research on main community plants. We would move from one place to another depending on what specific plant he was researching on at the time. For example, when we lived in Cameron, dad researched on apples and cold weather plants, and when we moved to the states, dad did research on cloning oranges. And the likes..So, our family was a real nomad family, but i dont mind, change is good sometimes.
DAd is now a retired scientist, after years of dedicating his life to his plants, he is safe and sound tucked in perak and is now a full time environmentalist, oh, and maybe farmer. =)

My father is a very passionate man, and with his shining eyes, he would come back from work at nights, telling us stories about what he did with what plants and all. And we kiddos would listen with even more eager eyes, while munching on the fruit that he was researching on. It was always like that, if he was studying on coco trees, we would have coco every weekend, if dad was studying strawberries, then it was strawberries everyday..and in sarawak, when he studied the sagoo tree, we ATE ULAT SAGU!!aha!its true...!!

Being a man of nature, dad always reminded us to save the environment.

1. When we washed the dishes, dad would come over and scold us if he finds that the water was flowing too much from the pipe.

2. If we ever stepped foot outside of the house, lets say, gunung brinchang during our days in cameron, dad would look out for the scattered rubbish that disturbs his sight and tells us...daughters, lets save the environment, and there we were, small kids picking up thrash...but i felt proud of it!

3. when we were in cameron, we would go jungle trekking on weekends, as me and my siblings raced through the lush green forest, dad would walk hand in hand with mom, at times calling us back to show us any interesting plant that had herbal use or was just peculiar in anyway.

4. dad likes to pick up things he finds alongside the road that he thinks is recyclable...and our house would be full of what i call`junk`..when he wasnt looking, me and mom would rush to take out as many junks as possible, and we would throw it very very far away so that he wouldnt notice anything was gone. But mom always asks me to do the dirty job, because she says daddy never scolds his little girls.

5. i once compared dad to this mentally-handicapped man by the road because he too was picking up trash. DAd got so upset, he said i was wishing him to be like that. I never brought up the issue again~

Theres so many more stories about my dad, and i could get carried away. haha..im so sorry, but im always talking about my family arent i..you must be bored i guess, but thats just the story of my life, its all about me, my family and what we have gone through together~ =)

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OMG..i did get carried away, this post was supposed to be about me going green.!

lets see, theres a couple of things i could do to start, hmm...but ill post it later, i have to study more of phop...really!

which is more important.....

u....or




u......which!

lets rock!!

this is one of those posts thats not interesting

its just made...

~just because~





MOrning!tengahari!i dont know!haha!im just very happy today!weee!chuweyy chuweyy bum bum!!! =) +_+ =O

I dont usually wake up late on weekends, but nowadays, my schedule has rapidly changed since the exams. I woke up around 9 or 10, and with a very hungry stomach, went down to search for food. I usually get depressed if i dont eat breakfast, or dont eat at all. Im one of those girls who LOVE TO EAT..haha...so sorry people who control what they eat, but chubby is in! (for me, that is). ANyway, couldnt find anyone to try out the new eatery outside, so i decided to make some pre-heat mushroom chicken soup.

BUt chicken soup wont fill my big tummy much, so i was STILL hungry! omg!i am a big -eater.. (btw, next year i want to try to put my name in the makan-cepat-banyak or whatever its called competition!weee).. So, there i was hungry, grumbling, depressed about no food. The whole morning i sat in front of the tv while reading some notes, (exams full next week) (and i kind of skipped my skills lab ,ermm, approximately 3 times)so next week would be full. Supposed to be studying totally today, but im still finding for my momentum, come on, come on!!----Anyway, out of nowhere, suddenly the doorbell rang, ting tong(it really sounds like that) ibu nadya, ibu nadya, tadi ada pesen makanan hahhhh!!!!when did i, erm,did i, no, it wasnt, but how could.....huh!!

Talk about food falling from the sky!seriously!i was just wishing for food, and there it was, food!

sedap pulak tue

SOmetimes, i cant believe my rezeki, thank you God, and i do Love You!I ate like a horse, while Omer sat listlessly beside me, waiting for his share of tidbits. (i dont know why im so enthusiastic today..hehe).

After the delightful lunch, i skipped lightly back to my room, rolled over the carpet and blasted some songs, Which i normally do (sorry for the loud music people, but i do love music!). Grabbed my towel, and took a bath at errr 2 oclock in the afternoon! (secrets out, im not that fond of early baths on a weekend such as this...haha) While in the shower, suddenly, my stereo blasted an old catchy song, by

metro station, shake it

. I dont know why, but it made me want to dance! haha(told you im too happy for words) SO, there i was, in the shower, soap suds were flying around, bubbles were popping in the air, hot shower and there was me dancing while singing to the tunes of this song!

Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It
Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake It

I saw you dancing and I coudn't get you off my mind
(I could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time
I was thinking of ways that you would stay and be mine
(You're body's shaking, turn me on, so I can turn out the lights

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Suddenly this one piece of memory flooded into my mind, during my kiddy-roller blade days. That was the in thing at that time, when everyone showed of their then super-cool wheels. I was with my sister, and my dearest 2 cousins Intan and AFzal, and we were way close back then. IT was in Johor Bahru, where Afzal lived when he was small, and his house was situated in a very hilly area. SO it was super-duper (sorry bout the happy-language!) to skate around in. The afternoon sun was high, and the four of us raced each other, all happy and smilling, kids, no problem in the world.

Suddenly, we chanced upon a really steep hill, the king of the hills. IT was time, we must skate down this hill to prove that we were the best roller blade kids in town! Aha! We were scared, really, but we wanted to do it. Slowly,we marched to the hill, making sure no parent was looking. All 4 of us held our hands tight, we would skate down together... 1--2--3!! AS we skated down fast, I started saying my prayers like 100km per hour under my breath, bismillah, bismillah, bismillah,, we were gaining speed, my hands were sweaty as i held on tight to the chain of me and my kins, when suddenly my cousin said, LETS ROCK!!RELAX MAN!!!and she let go of my hand....

KABOOM- BOOM BOOM POWWW!!!!!

haha

that was the end of that

we crashed!!

to be more accurate, my cousin had loads of cuts and bruises on her knee. while i was happily saying, tu la, lain kali baca la bismillah~...haha..what a memory~

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Anyway, everyone says that you cant be too happy, because something bad will happen to you.

I wonder if its true.

But after being very happy today, i realized, there might not be that much time for us to be happy so why not just you know, STAY HAPPY!! (even though theres no reason to be)

I love being happy, who doesnt right...

If i dont be happy always, when would be the next time before i dance in the shower, when would be the next time before, i laugh so hard, tears pour out of my eyes...~

I just love to LAUGH!

I just love to LOVE!

i just love to LIVE!

I just love to ENJOY every single moment that i am ALIVE!

Im not a serious person, and i am SILLY and Embarrass my self a lot!

bUT I DONT care, because there might not be a next time to be HAPPY!

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Yeah, we can be worried about something bad happening the moment we get too happy...

But, as the story of my cousins and i go, yeah we fall, yeahh, we suffer from minor cuts and bruises

But as long as God is in our minds, in our hearts...

we just GET UP, dust it off, and..

in the meantime people

LETS ROCK!!!! =) =) =)

Lets fight....lets not give up....~

Surah As-Shams ayat 7-10 :

"Demi jiwa serta penyempurnaan (ciptaan)Nya

Maka Dia mengilhamkan kepadanya (jalan) kejahatan dan ketaqwaannya

Sungguh beruntung orang yang menyucikannya (jiwa itu)

Dan sungguh rugi orang yang mengotorinya"
(91:7-10)


If you have been reading my blog before, you would know that i have always been complaining about my inner turmoil, the fight between good and evil. There are times when i feel so close to God, thinking im on my way, im a step closer to heaven. And sometimes, i just seem to forget about it, not meaning to bow to my evil ways, but that is me, just human.

I have the weekend of this week, after a thunderous week of exams. Theres still more to go mind you, and its just a short break before stepping into the whirlwind again. Being in a very tired state after a tiring exam today, i went back and slept...my asar, and maghrib flew by,eventhough i did get up every time, just before the next azan, but MR EVIL-INNER-TURMOIL said,

dont get up precious, come, let us sleep and regain our energy, you and i

~~ Well, regain my energy i did, and by missing 2 prayers today...owh, how could i~

Above the place where i put my laptop, there is this shelf, filled with novels, books, and other things. My eyes caught this really thin book that i read now and then, but which i should read more often. Its a book that mother gave to me, its called TOWARDS UNDERSTANDING THE BASICS OF ISLAM,a selection from the Quran and hadith. I flipped through the pages like i usually do, its a very meaningful book, but MR EVIL-INNER-TURMOIL said,

ahh, lets not read such rubbish you and i, lets keep clicking facebook in search of a handsome hottie!

(just kidding)

AS my index finger skimmed through the yellowing old pages of the book, i suddenly chanced upon the title, the struggle within~ may i share this with you.....

the human being has potentials for good and evil, and within each person a constant struggle goes on for the dominance of each potential. Hidden within the human soul is the ability to accept God and to recognize ones own nobility and dignity. Once a person achieves a consciousness of this fact he can try to purify his soul to achieve the original harmony God has given it. OR he can descend from one corruption to another.

I always feel in Malay what we call rendah diri because of my lack of knowlede in Islam, the way i dress, my personality, my attire, everything,it just does not actually picture a pious person, does it. And then, theres always me, being a lost soul, a dark fight between good and evil, never seems to stop but never seems to improve either. I thought i was the only one, i thought i was bipolar or crazy-like....until i read this.

A friend once asked me, do you ever wish for hidayah..then she said again, hidayah actually comes to us every single minute, the moment we think about God, that is the moment that we receive our hidayah. And every moment that we think about God, that is the time when we are one step closer to our good side. I guess its true...MAybe all this while, all my mistakes, are just part and parcel of a hopefully better life..as i always say, everything happens for a reason~

It seems that all of us are born with two sides, our upbringing, our decisions, are the things that either brings us closer to good or evil. I have this principle of mine, where i rarely judge a person from what i see, or what i hear until i know him or her well. This principle of mine is based from past experiences, where people judge me, not knowing anything about me and critiscize me. They see me from my dressing, from my rowdiness, the way i laugh too loud, and everything...and they just, judge~ i know im not a good person, but i am trying, at least im fighting, hey..just give me a chance~ Thats one thing hard about people like me, no one really gives a chance, and sometimes, along the way when no one believes in you, we tend to give up.....

A person who has achieved some of Islam should not start thinking he has achieved salvation. Imam Ghazali once said, those who are in the forefront of Islam might one day be left behind by the time they die

I wish people do not judge

I wish people do not critiscize

I wish people would just leave me alone, help me, but dont break me

I just wish...~

But after reading this passage from the book, i realize thAt i still have a chance. At least i realize, masih banyak kekurangan pada diri ini, and i will always try to better myself. Maybe the people who have been judging or critiscizing me all this while, are too comfortable with who they are now, that they dont realize all of us are just the same..
any moment a great man may fall, and any moment, a lay man may be a great man...

I know im weak, therefore ill try to get stronger

I know im naive, therefore ill try to learn more

I know who i am, therefore ill strive to be better

**May we always have the feeling that we still have much to learn and to improve...so lets fight,lets not give up!**


O ALLAH, I SEEK YOUR REFUGE FROM BECOMING WEAK AND HELPLESS, FROM LAZINESS AND DEFEAT, FROM THE WEAKNESS OF OLD AGE, FROM FAILURE AND STINGINESS, AND FROM THE TORMENT OF THE GRAVE.

O ALLAH, GIVE MY HEART ITS TAQWA, AND PURIFY IT, YOU ARE THE BEST TO PURIFY IT, YOU ARE ITS FRIEND AND PROTECTOR

SAVE ME, O ALLAH, FROM A SOUL WHICH IS NOT HAPPY AND THE HEART WHICH IS NOT SENSITIVE AND TREMBLING

FROM KNOWLEDGE WHICH DOES NOT BENEFIT, AND PRAYER WHICH IS NOT ACCEPTED

~God bless

palestine revisited...the arabs, the americans and the jews

Good day world..

And how are we on this fine wednesday, (actually it isnt that fine because im totally not in the mood to study for my next paper, so i thought id give my 2 cents of opinion, which i havent done for awhile)

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obamas cairo speech, dr mahathir

Dr Mahathirs new entry about palestine and their never ending conflict reminded me that i havent written about it in a long time. Why..at the time of the seige a few months ago, all blogs were filled with palestine entries, save palestine notes, jihad and so on. but now, everything has quietened down and we have somehow forgotten our promises, forgotten our opinions, while palestine still remains as it is and nothing has changed.

I do feel guilty, dont you~

It somehow felt like a fashion craze, when everyone is into something, you are brought into the whirlwind and want to do the same thing to. i felt that i was just following the flow, boycotting majorly at that time, checking upon their news all the time, and writing entries about them. but now, i havent written about palestine for so long, and thus, we just place the name at the back of our minds, leading our lives as if nothing has happened...

The united states call themselves a superpower nation, the arrogance they have over their own-self given title. In malay, we could just call people like these as orang yang perasan lebih..

1.I have a great despise for people who think too highly of themselves, for me its like,beautiful people who just dont seem pretty anymore the minute they KNOW they are.

2.Its like when we do something wrong, we never notice it, but when someone else just somewhat as glitch, we quickly jump in say that they are wrong, thats what the superpower have led them to believe.

3. and the amazing thing is, the whold world, the west, the arabs, the asians, nod at this just because we are afraid. or we are just weaklings who bow to big bullies~

4. i used to bow down at bullies, keep quiet when someone criticizes me, may they be taller, bigger people, or just smarter or prettier.... but now, if anyone ever just as tries to bully me, i just put up a brave front, and i talk back! yeahh...sometimes in life, we dont mean to be mean, its just standing up for ourselves with AN ATTITUDE!

THE ARABS

I just wish the muslim countries are like that instead of cowering away, satisfied in the richness from their oil produce. i feel so ashamed to see their attitude sometimes, because instead of uniting as one, they fight amongst themselves. The rich bully the poor, being puppets for a country that just wants their richness. ANd they can bow down to them...are they blind, are they afraid....or are they just plain dumb!

In Islam, we are taught about unity, about helping the ones who are weaker, and stand up for our own religion, our own people. But i dont see that in the muslim countries. As a malaysian, there are many things i can do, to help out with the palestinian struggle, and i know im not doing much. That really feels bad enough. But what about the neighbouring countries, right next to palestine, how can they even close their eyes at night when their own blood is being slaughtered like cows day in and day out. i cant~

Not only do they not do anything, but their feud amongst themselves since the birth of their history until now is still unsettled. The rival tribes still have not found an agreement amongst themselves, any different opinions in religion is counted as blasphemy and they make enemies out of their own thoughts and words. what kind of muslims are they....when the birth of Islam was at the heart of an arab state, nowadays, muslims around the world are more of a muslim than they are..


THE AMERICANS

Im sorry, but i do feel very emotional when i think about this. Because as i said, i HATE people who think they are always right. I get fed up with people like this, because the only thing that could make their foggy brains realize it if someone puts a bullet to it. (grr...se how emo i get about this..huhu)
Why is America so afraid of the jews..no, let me rephrase that. i think majority of the americans are mostly jews, so they feel a strong need to support their brothers in arms with their zionist beliefs.
America was built on the fundamental belief of freedom for all, the first few americans who settled on the supposedly great new land, were very much stout christians mind you. NOwadays, christians and jews in the west cant be differentiated, its like christianity has somehow assimilated with the jewish community, and loe behold the day, as they bow down to their jewish counterparts, can christians in the united states or other superpower countries one day be extinct and finally be replaced without anyone ever noticing it.

AND THE JEWS...

hitler

hitler is evil

hitler is a psycopath

and hitler.....killed the jews~

In my opinion, why all the talk about the evilness of this one man, is it just because the jews were repressed at the time. Yes, they suffered a war at the hands of , yes they were executed and kept in war camps, and thousands of them died during those days..

But has anyone actually counted the death toll and destruction that the jews have caused to the Muslim world...NO

Does the world or media record the violent killings that they do without regret to our brothers and sisters...NO

But just because ONE Man KILLED the jewish community, he was labelled a mad man...

But when the WHOLE jewish community kills millions of Muslims...they are not doing anything wrong, they just need a new home..

(did you ever think, myabe hitler was doing something right after all....)
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**it is an unfair world that we live in

**and injustice towards the innocent will always go on

**but that doesnt mean we can just sit down, watch and wait

**its a calling for us to do something about it~