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D'Masiv - Jangan Menyerah

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Kita pasti pernah
Dapatkan cobaan yang berat
Seakan hidup ini
Tak ada artinya lagi

Syukuri apa yang ada
Hidup adalah anugerah
Tetap jalani hidup ini
Melakukan yang terbaik

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Tuhan pasti kan menunjukkan
Kebesaran dan kuasanya
Bagi hambanya yang sabar
Dan tak kenal putus asa

OH MY GOD!!

I FORGOT!!

the most important resolution is TO STOP SPENDING LOADS OF MONEY...!!wuhuu!!

simple resolutions

ok, even though we have gone through 2 weeks this year, but its best that i do my resolution now, before i get too far back...

RESOLUTION FROM NOW AND 2010 ABOVE

(weird title, but dont know how else to say it)

1. keep my end of the promise to God

2. Love and respect my parents even more

3. stop taking things for granted, work harder for what i want

4. smile even more, since my tooth looks prettier now..haha

5. be forgiving, be kind, be loving, be caring

6. if someone does something to me, hopefully i can just brush it off and walk away

7. stop gossiping or mengumpating..haha...seriously

8. wake up early (and not like umm..5 minutes before class)

9. want to be funny but not silly

10. accept myself for who i am, and never lose my identity

moreh ..(is that how you spell it)

this was during ramadhan in tronoh

we had a small moreh at the masjid

raya quickie!

Selamat hari raya everyone!


1. WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU DONT LOVE GOD ENOUGH AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU

When? its when you have your terawih prayers and think about which baju raya to wear, the red or the pink one. You take Him for granted, but HE is always there to help you when you need Him. =(

2. WHEN YOU REALIZE YOUR LOVE FOR CATS CAN CHANGE

When? when your sister brings back a cat named Bali who terrorizes you even when you are watching tv. Or when he jumps over you as if you were a highway. Or when he bites you for no reason. You dont understand if he likes you or hates you as he bites at ONLY YOU!aiyoo

3. WHEN YOU REALIZE SOME OTHER PEOPLE NEED MORE THAN YOU DO, BUT THEN YOU FORGET ABOUT IT THE NEXT SECOND

When? when you go shopping at a factory outlet one night and suddenly stumble upon a small girl selling newspaper. When you want to offer her some money she doesnt take it, but instead just wants to sell the papers so she can go home. She looks at your bountiful plastic bags full of clothes and says 'teh, lg bli baju untuk lebaran ya?' 'saya gA ada baju baru untuk lebaran'. and you quickly go in the shop to buy her something for raya, but look out the window to see that she had already gone somewhere else. you cant buy anything for her, and instead start buying some other clothes for yourself. bummer!

4. WHEN YOU REALIZE SYAITAN DIIKAT WAKTU RAMADHAN, BUT WHAT ABOUT ...?

When? when you sleep one night and suddenly wake up to find this huge gray thing looming on top of you. and the sound of all the clocks suddenly tick loudly as the thing closes in on you. then you hear the running of small feet in your room and as you pray really really hard, it all goes away..then you pick up your handphone, look at the clock..its midnight!

5. WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT RAYA IS ABOUT

FOOD
FAMILY
FUN!!

ps: am in perak now, havent taken a bath, had a blast enjoying with family in nilai and kajang yesterday..will update soon!

air asia and the 15 kilos

MONOLOGUE

I cant sleep...been tossing and turning for a good 2 hours while watching the departed on tv. Bubu has been sleeping soundly since 11 pm, i got a chance to squeeze in some sleep for about 15 minutes, but it was a nasty sleep, i kept waking up every few seconds.

Thought of getting some milk from the fridge, it works most of the time, but no milk was left in the fridge..most were given as sacrifice to Bubu for a peace offering. I remembered there was some left over downstairs and decided to have an early sahur. Went down, chose what i wanted and went up again to watch tv in my room. TV DINNER\sahur..

Anyway, while i was eating, i suddenly remembered the last time i packed my stuff to come here. Mom always lectures me about how i always pack excess luggage. There were lots that i wanted to bring back to Indonesia, but you know Airasia, its just ridiculous.i mean who in the world travels less than 15 kilos (i know some friends who do though). but i dont. so this time, i really wanted to try to lessen the weight of my luggage because most of the time mom would have to pay for excess luggage as if she bought another ticket. i brought a hand luggage and a bag to check in. I tried stuffing in so much in the hand luggage until the bag for check in was less than 15 kilos. and i was definitely so proud of that achievement. it would be my first time ever without excess luggage in uhhh.. 3 years!

Mom saw what i was trying to do, the hand luggage was already around 10 kilos, but i was happy, i wont have any excess luggage this time. She walked into my rrom in Kajang and said, `nadya, i wont have you carrying a heavy bag around` `maa!its just a short walk, i can carry it` i answered. but she just shook her head, and took out some things to put in the other luggage. She said,`i know i always blab to you about how much your bag weighs all the time, but i wont have you carrying this heavy bag, i dont mind paying as long as you dont carry anything heavy`

wow...thats my mom...i know it sounds like a small thing, but to me, it showed how much my mom loved me...aww..i miss my mom..she does sacrifice a lot for me and for all of us...i just miss her and cant wait to go back for raya.

thanking you for another breath of life...~

The last few days of Ramadhan is said to be as one of the most sacred days awaited by many. At 3 in the morning today, i was woken up by my housemate to go to the Qiamulail(special prayers performed in the early morning), my red eyes popped open as i dragged myself on my feet and with just my pyjamas, brushed my teeth, washed the groggy look of my face and set off to do our prayers in the wee morning at the university mosque. The air was chilly as i hugged myself in my old pink sweater and the wind bit like frost underneath the clear black sky.

As i laid my praying mat on the brown carpet of the mosque, i glanced to my left and my gaze was met by 2 friends of mine who lived somewhat far away from the university. Curiously, i asked them, how in the world did they get here, as there were no transportations from where they lived to the university at such time. With a shy smile, one answered, `we went out, and just left it in God`s hands whether or not he wanted to provide us with some means to go to this morning prayer`. `surprisingly,there was an ojek (motorcycle) waiting for us across the road! Maybe, when you put your heart to do something good, God will always help you` said the other one.(they didnt exactly use those words =p)I smiled to myself, how very true were their words, it was a reminder to me about what i wrote in an entry before. If you pray to get closer to God, God doesnt give you closeness, he gives you the OPPORTUNITY to get close to HIM. As we prayed that morning, i felt a sense of peace and calm to be amongst the lucky ones to wake up and pray to Allah...

After a nice sahur at the mosque, we parted our ways and each went to bed again. My tired eyes were shut for a mere 2 hours when Bubu the cat got hungry and began clawing at my hair. It was still early and i didnt have the strength to get up, but Bubu became even more persistent and agitated. At nearly the same time, my housemate came barging into my room and jumped on my bed without so much as a good morning. `not you again!` i grumbled jokingly as she played with Bubu. After squinting for a while, i finally got up and gave Bubu his breakfast. It was only around 7 at the time and the sun was just beginning to rise.

I spent the whole morning and afternoon talking to my friend, playing with Bubu and cleaning up my room. It was nice to have a really restful weekend at last. suddenly, i remembered that i was to have dinner with a friend tonight. So at around 3 in the afternoon, i took a really late bath, and waited until the Asar prayers before proceeding to go out making it only 2 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours.

As i shifted into gear on the highway to Bandung, my eyes were slowly fluttering every now and then out of sleepiness. I pressed the pedal harder, speeding to get to town faster as i was a bit late and should have been there a good half an hour before. I was going at about 130kmh with sleepy eyes when suddenly, a black avanza in front of me stopped abruptly in the middle of the highway.I was so near the car that it took me by surprise as i wasnt paying much attention on the road. My heart skipped a beat as i estimated that i couldnt brake in time, the silver CRV behind me was tailing right behind and was so near.in mere seconds, I had to choose between a devastating crash with a car in front, crash with the divider on the side or be knocked dead by the car behind.

Fleeting memories and pictures of my whole life flashed through my mind as i pressed down on the brake as far and hard as i could. Even with the brake fully down, i knew there was no way i could escape from hitting straight into the back of the avanza. With trembling hands, i took a risk and swirved to the right,barely inches from the divider and the car in front.At the same time, my eyes stood transfixed at the rearview mirrow as the speeding CRV behind didnt notice me in time. With the only strength i had, i turned the wheels as fast as i could and the CRV braked with such force behind me that his wheels practically grinded the tar beneath and smoke started to develop beneath them. It was exactly like in the movies, the screeching tyres and the heart-thumping seconds between life and death as the crash was just able to be stopped in time. It was awful! Sweat poured from my face as i replayed it in my mind again and again, my hands were still trembling and all the blood from my face seemed to have vanished as i was so scared from the incident, i just blanked out.

After a few moments, realizing i was still alive, i quickly regained driving and got back on the road. We were lucky, all 3 cars because what happened was, there was an accident right in front of us. And we were the cars behind that got lucky not to have been trapped in the same accident! I was in a state of shock and disbelief at avoiding such a catastrophe, the feeling of being seconds away from death is not something that i would want to experience again..ever!
I said my prayers, and continued the drive slowly and wide awake this time. I kept thinking what would have happened if i didnt brake in time.

**Note to self, please never drive alone when you are sleepy!

So..I guess its true what they say, the last few days of ramadhan are really sacred. Today, i learnt 2 valuable lessons which ill try to always remember.

#1. IN WHATEVER YOU DO, ALWAYS PLACE GOD AS YOUR FIRST REASON, AND IN HIS OWN WAY, HE WILL MAKE IT ABLE FOR YOU TO DO ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO DO..

#2. DO NOT TAKE FOR GRANTED THAT YOU WILL LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED, DO NOT TAKE FOR GRANTED THAT YOU MAY LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW, AS YOUR LIFE CAN BE TAKEN AWAY ANYTIME AT ALL

AND OOH YEAHH

#3. DO NOT DRIVE AT 130KMH WHILE YOU ARE HALF ASLEEP!!!huhu


**At only 22, i dont want to die yet, i still have so many things so go through, so many experiences to live upon, so many wrongs to right....The incident jolted me back to reality on how i havent been thankful enough for what we all have...which is the simple gift of LIFE. If God wanted to take me away at that very moment, he could easily have. Instead, he gave me another chance, another breath of life.......~

today is a friday...

today is the 3rd day of my life with boo boo..(or bubu) i havent decided yet which..so far he has been of no trouble at all. he doesnt meow, practically just gives a squeak every now and then after he gets bored of playing by himself. I went out to town from morning until night yesterday, and left booboo in the oilet with some food, water and the door left just enough for him to squeeze through if he wanted to. i was worried the whole day, whether he got scared or lonely in the cold bathroom (although i did supply a box and some towels in a corner), but my worries were rest assured as when i came back home, booboo bounded happily towards the door. no poop or pee outside the bathroom and he looked happy to see me! i hope he sticks with this attitude forever.

i have classes at 7 today, and as usual i havent finished my assignment. argh...i went out to bandung yesterday with a friend. I am trying out this one project, which hopefully succeeds and that was the reason i went out. but ill tell you about it one day, just not now. after buying all the things needed for the project, we went for a spa which turned out to be not that relaxing as they used ice cubes, ouch! i broke one of my favourite heels and oh yeah, i finally stopped by petronas yesterday for the first time..haha

anyway, i have to write loads of things about viruses and all...must focus on that first..but my eyes are red already. will update more later..take care!

is it boo boo or bubu or bubur!

morning again! i seem to be up early nowadays, and thats a good thing right.=)

i came back home yesterday afternoon after around an hour of blank gaze during tutorial. i couldnt pick up what everyone was saying after the tutorial break as my brain normally malfunctions at around that time. coming back home tired, the house cat named Omer entered my room nonchalantly. This orange cat of my friends, is a humongous orange cat unlike garfield minus the obesity. As he purred and rubbed against my legs, i squatted down and talked to him like i always do. I asked him, where had he been...had he seen his girlfriend today...and so on. Omer doesnt mind me talking to him, and the reason why i never had a cat here was that i loved him a lot. But nowadays, hes a grown boy and he doesnt come back home often, i thought as i rubbed his dirty chin. Looking in his eyes, i whispered, Omer, please bring me a kitten to take care.~

At precisely that time, i suddenly heard the pityful meow of a kitten from the back of the house. I ran to the balcony and saw this teeny form of a kitten wandering aimlessly in the paddy fields! it was meowing at the top of its lungs, whether from hunger or just calling for someone to love him (i think its a boy), i shall never know. but at that moment, i ran as fast as i could, could this be...the cat that i was finding for!!

Maybe it was destiny, or maybe it was just a hungry cat, but the scraggly kitten came running and running towards me as if it knew that i was going to take him HOME. it was such a heartbreaking moment, really! I brought him to my room and petted him for a bit, when suddenly Omer came into the room to see what the fuss was all about. When he saw that some other being was in my room, he literally dived onto the poor kitten and nearly broke its bone! i was horrified!! Omer! how could you!! he gave me an ugly look, which must have meant `i hate you!` and looked sharply at the kitten who was now so scared, his legs were shaking like a chicken.

I gave the kitten a bath, and decided to name it BOo BOo, because, suddenly, i cant think of another name! owh dear, maybe i should put up a contest on who can name my kitten...anyone has any ideas what to name it..anyway, as for now, its boo boo, and boo boo has been very good in the past hours. he doesnt meow loudly, which is good and he did potty train himself. the only thing that irritated me was when i tried to get some sleep last night, but he kept wanting to sleep on the bed with me and after some attempts at scolding him, i finally caved in as his tear drop eyes looked at me as if to say `i love you`...

**ps: i hope nothing happens to boo boo, unlike my hamsters!

good morning!!

good morning world!

its 5.40 am in indonesia and i am halfway through my utter most horrible assignment, due at 9 today. only my study lamp is on, and the rest of the room is dark, as if it is night. but it isnt, and i could get cranky by midday because of lack of sleep..owh dear!

anyway, i woke up with a start this morning. as my phone which doubles as the only alarm in the world that i can hear, woke me up with a startle and i accidentally dropped it under the bed. as it rang the second time, i lazily reached out under, but as it was too far, i fell right down from the bed with it. what an early morning start. and i didnt have time to have my morning coffee *grumble*. but i did manage to gulp down some water before the mark of sahur has come to an end.

im wearing my new pink cotton baju kurung today. want to post a picture, but maybe a little later as im still in my jammies...~

anyway, as my teacher used to say, lets pray that today would be better than yesterday..have a great wednesday people!

the scrapbook and the paper shredder

when i was smaller, i once asked mom to take a couple of coloured paper to her office to shred. They were bright yellow a4 sized papers, to make the borders of my scrapbook which had to be done for school. so I asked mom to shred the coloured paper to make mini squiggly borders on the sides of each page, and if mom forgot to shred them, i would throw a tantrum, getting mad at her, as i would be late in doing my nice scrapbook. Mom would always just say, `sorry,sorry,sorry..mama forgot, i`ll do it tomorrow ok`..and i would frown tight-lipped as i thought about how i was ever going to be able to do the borders now!

Everyone had to do the scrapbook project, and it was some sort of competition, who made the most beautiful scrapbook with neat hand writing and beautiful cartoon pictures. We would even go out on weekends to find the fanciest paper for the cover, and even nicer covers for the pages inside. At school, we would marvel at each others development and compete to see who would end up with the nicest scrapbook of all.

I would bug mom and dad all day to take me to the nearest bookstore so that i could show off to my friends about how my scrapbook would be the fanciest. Each page was done with care so as to appear neat and tidy. Mom and dad must have had a headache watching me meticulously doing it again and again, and spending their money on it. But, who cares, as long as we have the nicest scrapbook right! And i sure wanted to hand in my scrapbook on time, making sure it would be the best.



_____________________________________________________________________________________

The reason why i remembered this piece of memory, was when mom called just now. They had just finished their prayers at 11 o`clock at night from the mosque and are now safely tucked in our orange house in perak. We talked for awhile, but actually, i wasnt focusing on our conversation, my mind was thinking about how i always take for granted that mom and dad would always be there when i called, when i needed them...i forgot how precious every single time i have to talk or spend with my mom and dad was.

What triggered this thought was when i went with some friends to help out at the earthquake site,where a lot of them had lost everything, if not food, water, shelter, then loved ones. I dont mean to sound all mushy, and goody two shoe-d...but its just that sometimes we forget things can be taken from us at any time in our lives.. and the point is, the only thing i dont want taken away from me is my mother and father......

I always take them for granted, when i run out of money, with just a phone call,mom would drive out to the bank and put in double the amount i needed. If it was my birthday, they would always write me beautiful notes in my birthday card chosen with lots of love. They were ALWAYS there...ALWAYS..i cant imagine what would happen to me if they werent...

REcently, we just celebrated dads 60th birthday..both my parents are aged as it is, and even the process of watching them slowly aging is really sad to see.. they were both succesful and were on the fast track for such a long time that it is really different to see them slow down.....and they are slowing down. They walk slower, they forget easily, and they take things one at a time.

Yasmin ahmad once told her mother, she wants her mother to die first. because if she herself died first, then there would be no one to take care of her mother. Thats a really noble thing to say, if you think about it. Because,my wish on the other hand is very selfish...i would always pray that i die before my parents do...because i cant bear to live without them....i really cant....i just cant.....~

you see...Mom and dad are like a scrapbook which i should always do as best as i can...fill them with pretty pictures of sweet memories, make them even more precious with their perfect smile and laughter...and always handle them with care... so that one day, when i have to hand them over to God, i want to make sure that they had the perfect life that they deserved.and this is certainly one scrapbook that i want to make sure...is the best~

**ps

guilty!!of not blogging for a long time!and blogging nonsense stuff!been busy readjusting to life back in jatinangor after nice hols..!huu~